There’s not purpose in my fucking life so what the point in even living, it’s so lame, so boring. I don’t want to live another stupid year, kill me now.
Tag:
want
Wow. Seems like I’ll be spending New Years Eve on my own after a huge fight with my mom. A moment ago I wished that I would just fall asleep in a minute and never wake up anymore, and I still sort of do. I don’t want 2016. Everyone is telling me to be happy because 2016 is starting. It is just a year like normal. And I don’t believe that it will get better. Shit is still going on. In the last few weeks more shit has been going on than in the rest of 2015 and that shit is not going to stop. […]
Today is my birthday. I’m officially 22. I was born around 7 in the evening, only lived about 5 hours of 1993. What the fuck is so damn happy about it?
I have been trying to make the most of this day. I took a walk with my sisters to the park. Played on the swings like an 8 year old. I remember when I was that young. I chased around my little sister and nephew. It helped me forget for a moment.
I forgot that deep down inside, I’m fucking furious. Just that moment.
The urge to cut has been growing intensely. I don’t want to […]
I am 38 and have been living with depression for most of my life. I’ve always been told it gets better. Take these pills, talk to a shrink, get help, blah blah blah. After this much time, i can say for a fact that it does not get better. I longer I live with this the worse it gets, and nothing I do or don’t do makes any difference. I just want it to end. I can’t keep going on like this.
since i fell into the black pit of depression suicide always seemed like an option. well, not anymore. ever since my girlfriend gave birth to our child i feel, morally, that it’s not appropriate for me to kill myself, no matter how low i get.
many times it seems like a mistake, having this child. on one hand, i don’t want him to grow up without a father, on the second hand, i don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life. i’ve been depressed long enough to know that it won’t go away. it’s who i am.
shit, i can’t even cut myself. maybe […]
I feel like it would be fun to see all of yours too . These are mine.
1. Find something I’m passionate about . I really want to find something to put my time and energy into . Art ? Music ? I have a great ear my friend tells me . And I love going to shows. I think I would like to buy a synthesizer . I’m really into some funky music.
2. Pass my dental assisting radiology and infection control exams . I’m coming close to the date to take them and I’m nervous . After I take these tests I can get […]
“IT”, is something that I think about all the time. Every day and every night IT is on my mind. I’m not sure if IT is something that I want to do, or something that would help relieve that darkness that I feel. IT, is a word that I can’t say without feeling sick to my stomach. I want to cry whenever I think of IT. But just for your information, “IT” = Suicide.
I’m not too sure that IT is something that I want to do. All I know is that I want to disappear. I want to disappear from my family, my friends, my […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Today I saw my old love and I was happy . We just listened to music and laid together . And I felt content . But the second I left I feel so alone . I’m so unhappy . Any second I’m not around something that can make me happy , I instantly become sad again . I really want to die. I wish I could order a hit man to kill me. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy . This all seems pointless as fuck . I have such bad anxiety now anyways around people that I don’t think I’ll ever make friends […]
From everything I’ve known; my job, family, and the only life I’ve ever known. I feel so stuck, no purpose or motivation to do anything anymore, and I’m seriously contemplating leaving the States for Canada even though there’s nothing for me there (job, home, or friends). I’d be a stranger in a strange land, but even that sounds more appealing then what I’m facing right now. I just want to getaway even if I’m running away from my problems; does anyone else ever feel this way?
I want to die at the same time i want to live. I want to go forever in peace but I want to explore life in different perspectives. I live in hell, and everyday is a battlefield and i want to feel what heaven feels like. I’m craving for some time alone. I want to go to a place away from socialization, i want to walk away from everything even just for a while. Sometimes, i want to live and every moment, i’m searching for peace.
I am married and 22yrs of age with no children. I have a loving husband with a very strong mind, a mum that’s been a Christian most of my life. I have reached a time in my life where I have thought deeply of committing suicide. I have pictured it happening, pictured me in a casket with my niece and nephew looking at me wondering why I’m lying there. I have seen my husband finding me and crying uncontrollably. I have seen my mum bed ridden for days. I am very upset at myself for seeing all of this because this is not me.
Being honest […]
This year is especially hard for me. I’m separated, no close family, no close friends, new medical issues, no job, no kids, no pets… No one to be with through the holidays.
I see post after post on Facebook of people with either friends and/or family. All i want to do is cry!
I’m in so much pain physically and emotionally, i just want it to stop!
After all this shit… the guy I’ve loved posts another rant about how he got rejected by someone else he was chasing, how good he’d be to someone, etc. Then added on how hard it is to get him and he wouldn’t want some of the girls who might want him anyway…. Yeah because we all know you need to be anorexic with your bones sticking out and have the face of a supermodel to get him. And aparantly he had plans to spend Christmas with the girl he was chasing but now just “might” not and so he “might” have been open to going […]
Have you ever listened to one special song or melody that makes you numb inside, makes you want to cry out of pure pain and scream?
I personally love techno, and it has helped a lot by just listening to some certain songs. I would have gone mad without music. My favourite song is Glaze – Energy Sway.
Do you have a favourite song?
I am an international student in Philadelphia, USA. I have no job and I can’t pay tuition fees anymore. I can’t go back my country. I just want to die asap. I want to die peacefully. Thank you.
My name is Free. My name is Happy.
I wish…
I’m trapped. I’m trapped in this body. I’m trapped in this horrible life I don’t want to live. I’m trapped in this fucked up world.
I want to break free. I want to be free. Live up to my name.
Freedom. Happiness. I’m far from getting either of those things. My names. Even hearing someone calling my names tears me apart inside. I will never feel any of those things. I will never be free. I will never be happy.
I’m sad right now, and I don’t understand why. It wasn’t a particularly great day, but it wasn’t […]
I feel bad for telling people how I feel . Most say that I am too much , and that they cannot handle it .
God I wish I just had someone to sit with me and that would let me lay in their lap and cry .
I can’t even talk about my suicidal thoughts and it kills me .
I wish I could leave this life, I just want to see things more beautifully .
I want to wake up and see the sun and trees and birds outside and feel happy to be alive . I’d rather sleep , and that’s all the energy I have […]
I know there’s nothing you can do, but I can’t be left alone, my mind is set on self distruct and I’m slowly hindering my body, constant hope constant fall when will she learn, never I supose, will there be an end were I just give up and surrender, or let go of my controls cause I always black out I always choose the wrong answer I just want to know I just want to belive in myself. Today I already made a mistake but I’ll try again. Hopefully this try will finally be Ill do.
I get a bit depressed any time I’m away from the other Buddhists. I mean, it’s exhausting for me mentally and physically to chant for 6 hours on Sundays. That was just today. Its normally 2 hours and even then I feel I’m about to pass out. My disabilities get in the way of everything in life. The worst part is when you’re poor, you can’t get anyone to say you’re disabled, because they don’t want you to get any benefits. A middle class or rich person who went through what I went through would have been handed a wheelchair from day 1. I was […]