I Dont know what to do anymore my life’s fucked no one cares about me and they say they do but it’s all lies! I’m a 15 yr old girl and I get used all the time boys use me say they love me then do stuff with me and dump me I want to start valueing myself more buy all I ever think is why would anyone want to b with me they can do better an that’s because I hate myself · I was really close with my nan and grandad and they got put into a care home recently an I feel […]
want
Do you ever think your happy but a repulsive assholes points out your flaws? That happens to me all the time, but look at it this way. You’re a barbie from an outlet store a few bumps and scratches, anyone who doesn’t appreciate You is a snobby asshole. They keep saying they want the real thing, but they’re ignorance has blinded them from the fact that barbie is plastic after all. If you trust me, put “I’m an outlet barbie” in your bio and use the tag #outletbarbie in your pics and I will follow you we can be IG buddies if you want??
I told myself I wasn’t going to post here until I started my short story, but I found an old journal of mine and felt like I should post anyway. I was flipping through it and I was kind of startled at how much I wanted to die. Not because I’m better, but because I have made absolutely no progress. If anything, I’ve gotten worse. I’m more isolated now. I feel things less. I’ve lost any bit of hope I had before.
Damn, usually when I see these types of things, people always say how much better they are, and I’m jealous. I don’t want to […]
I’m tired of my life and don’t want to live any more. I used to be very much afraid that others might think I’m weird or stupid. That kept me from trying new things because I did not know how to behave in unknown situations. So my life is pretty much the same and very boring.
I tried killing myself but wasn’t able to give myself that little last push to actually do it. What I’m wondering now is, why I’m still not able to do the things I want. I mean I have no reason to be afraid of any consequences. I will die anyway. […]
I know I’m fat and ugly but why can’t he just hang out with me and get to know me? He complains about being alone when he knows I’m totally there for him. Again I’m almost 40 and I’m sick of this shit. I really want out.
Ever feel like you can’t get any words out? Let alone care enough about communicating? I guess it’s my way of saying fuck you to the world, just ignoring everyone and everything. In life is death, in death is life. Bringing an end to an inevitable miserable life is not cowardly, at least it will be on my own terms. You know what pisses me off the most? These “social norms” that we are all supposed to abide by. The “how are you”, “I’m good thanks and you” get pretty fucking old very fast. I guess I’m just sick of it all. I’m sick of […]
God is boring . boring God . why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ? why God is boring ?
God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?
I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]
I crawl into myself.
No-one notices, half surprised
Each wrapped up in oneself
After-all, aren’t we all disguised?
Ever hiding
Ever redirecting
Everything sliding
Barely suspecting
Embodied detachment
Am I a person anymore?
Tears fall in the catchment
—
But what can you do
You have no one
No one able to handle your words
Let alone your feelings
So you crawl inside
Unsure why death seems so appealing
Yet the only thing you are sure of, is how much you want to die
You don’t want to run, to leave everything behind.
I keep having dreams where she kills herself, and I wake up feeling as if the world had ended. The crushing weight and anxiety on my chest is too much to bear. Seeing her alive and well makes everything better and soon I forget the dreams but then they come again and I see her, then I wonder for how long all of this will last before the dreams come true, it would kill me. I dint want to even think about it but in trapped in this cycle now
I love him more than I love myself. I love him more than breathing. The only thing keeping me here is my boyfriend, the flame that keeps me warm eventhough all I feel is the paralyzingly coldness around me. I don’t want to leave him but I can’t stay anymore. What do I do? What can I do that if I do leave this world he will move on, that he won’t blame himself, that he’ll still be happy. I’m tore between my pain and my love, the only good thing left in my heart.
Don’t let me die alone /
I feel weakness in every bone/
I worry every second I think of you/
Because I’m so scared I’m not sure what to do/
My heart beats strong for you/
And I always long for you/
Our future can appear so bright/
Ik that doesn’t make it right/
But I will stay true late into every night/
I love you E even as I cry/
I love you E even as I die/
I love you E even as I try/
I will not fail anymore/
Because without you I have nothing to live for/
And your the only one I can adore/
Deep depression isn’t how I want to live/
Major regression isn’t all […]
Two years ago I was almost strangled to death by my boyfriend. I have never been the same since that night. I hate myself I hate myself so much I just want to die and I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I’m not me
I’m sorry, my baby…. I’m sorry that I feel this way. That I feel like you don’t love me anymore. I’m sorry that I still want to kill myself because I feel so inadequate. I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry that I was never good enough for you. I’m sorry that I haven’t made as big of an impact on your life as you try to tell me I have. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I’m sorry that I’m not good for you. I’m sorry you still can’t see that. I’m sorry that I’m clingy, that I’m possessive. I’m sorry that I can’t wait […]
I want so many things in life. I want to be the one that makes a difference. I want to be the person that will be there for you no matter what. I want to be someone useful. I want to be liked and accepted. I mean, who doesn’t? I want to fit in. I want to be happy.
I want a normal life with a normal family. I wish I had someone I could call mom. Have someone to call dad. I never had a dad growing up so it makes me want one even more. I see girls with their dads and those are […]
Does anyone here take an antipsychotic? I have some personal questions I don’t want to post here. If you can kik me at darkestraven1218 that’d be awesome thanks
This world is really… How should I put it? Bland? Complicated? Most of my life is spent just living like a robot doing what’s expected of me and kind of just… not really connected to my body. Like I’m not really all that there.
I don’t know what I even want to do in life or why was I even born in the first place. Honestly, I feel like I’m useless. I don’t have any skills worth talking about, a coward and I’m socially awkward. I basically just there taking up space.
I hate my current job, it pays so little, and the union itself took a […]
I’m sorry if this is weird, but I was thinking and I’m not sure how much I’ll really want to say when I see you tomorrow, but right now I feel like talking so I think I’m going to try and tell you some things now so you basically know whats happening.
So I started taking my anxiety medication and I don’t think it’s working at all. In fact I think I’ve been getting a lot worse. I keep shaking like whenever I get anxious or nervous I can’t breathe, I can barely talk and my jaw starts shaking and it looks like I’m shivering. […]
Being honest with my self, I feel suicidal, I constantly have toughs about killing myself and ending this misery once and for all.But I really don’t want to die, I just want to live without the constant overwhelming feeling of not having energy, being tired all the time, not seeing a good future, feeling alone even with lots of people around me and having this thing called asperger syndrome that makes me feel horrible when I try to socialize or establish relationships. Or perhaps its true I just don´t belong here and must end all of this as quick and painless as possible.
I like to consider myself recovered. However sometimes I still have the thought of suicide enter my brain. It catches me off guard. Sometimes I want to act on it. I don’t exactly want to die. I have a lot I will be leaving behind. I am so tempted to cut though. I crave it actually. I can’t because I’ll get caught by my boyfriend. He will see the cuts and I can’t stop him from seeing them. I want to cut and I hate that I do. I don’t want to get locked up again. Sometime I wonder if I do this all for […]
If I can ask you to take a moment and answer my question, it would really help. My life up to where I am has not been good to me so far. I am a 17 year old male who and have been depressed for most of my life since I was little. I dont show that i am extremely sad and so I am a jokester to most of my “friends” and family. And the reason I say “friends” is because for all my life no one has had my back when push came to shove. I have not had a girlfriend or have […]