Have you ever felt so ugly and unwanted, that you couldn’t leave the house? You feel as if everyone is staring at you, wondering why you look this way instead of that way. I worry about that every day, and it’s gradually getting worse. I can’t leave the house most days. I haven’t always hated my appearance, it became noticable when I began to truly notice my appearance. I’m 13, and I have alopecia. During the summer, my hair started to get noticably thinner and now it’s almost completely gone. My mother thought it’d save my confidence if we just shaved it all- which in […]
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worse
Is it possible for someone who has shown no emotion for the past 17 years to show emotion again? I’ve kept my feeling balled up for so long and only concentrated on depression and hate. I hated that some of the best people I knew were killing themselves to escape reality. Why can’t i do the same? Some of me has the want, the dreams, the desire to end it all. But there is a very small an vague side that just won’t allow me to. How long can this side stay strong before the darkness rolls through like a tornado an rips apart the […]
I’m new to this so I don’t really know how to start out but I guess I will try my best. All my life I’ve delt with hardships but who hasn’t? My parent were divorced when I was 6, my father was a drunk, my mother was a partier. An when they decided to split it wasn’t peaceful. They didn’t care about us kids they just cared about the money that came with the kids. And this is still going on till this day, I’m almost 22 now. It’s hard going through life knowing money is always more important than your life. And I’ve had […]
Sometimes it’s better sometimes it’s worse. Sometimes you can get up sometimes you can’t even gain strength to eat. No matter everyday I put on a smile and feel that she is serene like i have never known. I am very sick physically. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend. How much longer I can hide this from her. I over came MY depression and suicidal thoughts I fought off those demons and most the time I never once thought I would make it through. Years of self hatred and abuse have not done me any good. I am venting and trying to […]
I have been reading stories on this site for a long time, but I finally signed up to be able to write something myself tonight. Although I don’t consider myself suicidal, I must admit I have thought about it on more than 1 occasion. I have had a couple times that I really felt like dying, but first of all I would never have the guts. Second,v believe that anything we go through in life can be turned around, but you know what? That’s not why I’m here tonight. I’m here because I figured this is the perfect place to vent and give myself a […]
I’m sure my story isn’t unique. I started off strong and passionate. Now it’s just physical and emotional pain. Both equally disable my ability to love, converse, work, and sleep. My heart pounds every day like the annoying construction workers outside my window.
I’ve tried meds and nothing helps. The anxiety is just too much to handle. I live in San Francisco and see the golden gate bridge on a daily basis. If only I had the balls to jump off. Everyday is worse than the last. I guess I’ll just try and OD on morphine again, but it never works. I’ve taken over 1000 […]
In my teens, I was diagnosed with bipolar paranoid schizophrenia. I’m currently 26, without insurance, and no way to afford therapy or medication.
I’ve attempted suicide twice before, first by ingesting a large number of different pills (blood thinners, sleeping pills, basically everything in the cabinet) and the second by ingesting rat poison. I continue to practice self-harm, mostly by tearing at my arms with my nails, or beating myself in the head, for the sake of not hurting someone else because the fact is I want to. I’m angry at everyone all the time, and it has only gotten worse in recent months since my […]
I’d never felt more suicidal than I had felt today. I was so determined to put an end to this life within the next couple of weeks. I thought that since I had stooped so low I might as well try heroin, it’s not like I had any further to fall. So I chased the dragon, not intending to kill myself at that point but just for a release. It didn’t feel orgasmic or incredibly intense at the time, just relaxed like I could nod off at any time. So I thought that was that and I went to bed. All of a sudden I […]
yes, I survived, It’s been one year tonight since the paramedics revived me, I was dead for nearly 5 minutes, spent several in a coma – most days I wish they hadn’t revived me, my life has gone into a worse spiral since. I’m more alone now than ever and the process a year ago has left many distant and detached… but I survived, I struggle daily to stay positive, forcing smiles, false hope – but it always seems to be futile. I wonder if it really is all worth it, major depression, a neuro-muscular disorder, and an inoperable brain tumor – got lot’s of […]
I can’t believe myself. 58 days I went without cutting. 58 days of suppressing the tears until i could lock myself in my room and cry myself to sleep. 58 days of resisting the urges with all my will. did I cut when my ex yelled at me and told me he wished I would just fucking die? Did I cut when my uncle killed himself? Did I cut on any of those days when life was just too much for me to get out of bed, but I had to force myself to because if I didn’t who would take care of my brothers? […]
I have felt this way for a week now. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I have been depressed for 5 plus years. The reason is I have a very sick parent and they are getting worse. But. Then this girl came into my life and everything finally seemed to go up for me. I was happy again. I never thought I would feel that way again. I had someone for the first time in my life I could trust and talk to about everything. I could be myself around her and even show my real me and cry. She’s my everything and […]
Why do my days get worse and worse I never have anything good in my life ever and I never will. Any time I find something or someone that makes me happy it gets takin away from me. Why live my life everyday miserable and never actually live my life. Iv been alive for 22 years now but I never lived one day yet…. Why would I keep dealing with this? I have no one and nothing to live for. I’m meant to kill myself, I’m just too scared to like a coward I wish I can have the strength to just kill myself and […]
Hi, so I just made this, found this website on tumblr. I wanted to tell you guys that I’m here for any of you not completely sure how this works I don’t think you can message people? if you can then feel free to message me or you can always kik me @autumnnwi or message me on tumblr can-i-be-your-barbie-girl . I’m not here to judge or make you feel worse about yourself, I myself have suicidal thoughts, I have cut myself (haven’t in 2 weeks), also have problems with my weight, and have anxiety. However I’m not really here for anyones pity or anything like […]
I feel so alone. I have no one. All of my friends say that i f I need someone to talk to I can go to them.. but no whenever I need someone to talk too everyone’s all out or too busy. I understand they have their own lives but honestly I think they really don’t care how I feel or anything they’re only gunna pretend to care once its too late. Im so sick of this I’m mentally and physically insane. I don’t do anything all I do is lay is bed all day. I cry myself to sleep. I feel so stupid and […]
I’ve had mental health problems since I was around 10 or 11 and I’m 22 now and frankly, I’m just getting worse and worse. The medical profession have basically written me off as a time waster because of a few failed attempts and because I’ve ended up in a&e from drug and alcohol abuse a fair few times. Although I don’t suppose that really matters because with a condition like mine, the best I’m going to get is “learning to cope”. Like, all I have to hope for is dragging out the time between breakdowns and getting better at talking myself off the metaphorical ledge. […]
One of my main reasons I’m currently NOT doing anything is I’m concerned about my friends who will have to deal with the aftermath. My previous methods of self-harm and suicide attempts have been cutting or overdosing. If I did that where I am now one of my housemates would either have to wake up to that or come home from work to it. (Either self-harm or suicide).
So I was thinking more about trains or bridges. Which is not something I’d ever thought of before. But it seemed less selfish to the people I love? However when I was at the psych hospital yesterday and […]
Well lets start with this. My first suicide attempt was when i was 12, its only gotten worse from there. I was so horrified from even the thought of ever wanting to hurt myself. Then my mind just got so damaged with my own horrible thoughts. I tried to hang myself with a belt in my bedroom when no one was home. Back then no one knew about my depression. Not my family, friends, no one. Yeah, life sucks, right?
I feel I don’t exist and don’t have anyone to talk or to relate to. I feel invisible to the world. The only time people do notice me, is when out in public and I’m going thru my anxiety attacks. Yeah.. they notice alright. They either laugh, call me crazy, or walk away from me if they near by. It’s so embarrassing! I don’t know what brings them on, that’s why I try to stay self medicated when I go out. I’ve tried medicine for all of my disorders or illnesses, including the Anxiety, but they either make me feel worse or I can’t function […]
im so tired of thinking things will get better when its obvious there only getting worse i cant take life its just too much for me !!! i really dont know what to do with myself 🙁 !!!!
I’ve been swimming upstream my whole life. Nothing was ever given to me, no brakes, no guidance, no chance. I’m middle aged now with 2 teens and a wife. I have no job and have been looking since April. Credit is bad, no savings, and I’m over qualified for the “regular” jobs. I get bored out of my mind with work and am on a spiritual mission. I’ve prayed and asked for truth for all mankind, a unselfish prayer for a long time now. The world is filled with violence and seems that it is filled with selfishness. This life is absolutely unreal, if there […]