Things get better, they dont and they will never get better. Looking on the bright side of things only works for a little while. My life has been hell ever since I was 10, when I first started to get depression because of my shy nature and as a result got bullied. Now I tried to tell my parents but they didnt care. Finally found a sollution a few years ago when I first attepted suicide by hanging myself. It didnt work and ended up in a hospital because of it. Now I tried to live it out but no things got worse so now […]
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worse
For the past few months now my depression has been getting worse and worse and so has the suicidal thoughts. Enough so that I have attempted it a couple of times but it didn’t work. So I ordered some stuff to my uni flat which will mean it will definitely work. And I go back to my flat next week. I will finally be able to get of this place. I just have to get through this final week without attempting it a stupid way and then I will be able to go to my flat and end everything in peace.
My entire life is a nightmare. I didn’t think things could get any worse but they did, they can always get worse. I have no hope for a future. It would only consist of anxiety and loneliness, of being haunted by what my has been so far. I can’t do that, I just can’t. I’m 29 years old and I have given up. I feel too old to start over, too old to have the life I’ve always wanted. Because it’s too late now. I’m too young to be close to death, too young to have the health problems take over and kill me.
I’ve thought […]
I don’t even know how to describe this past weekend. I was sorta suicidal, but more really I just wanted to hurt myself. I took a lot of klonopin, which I think might’ve made me psychotic.
My ex called the cops on me, afraid that I’d kill myself. I had been hiding in our old apartment when the cops showed up at the door. I was scared – and this is the main reason I think I might’ve been psychotic- so I jumped from our 7th floor balcony onto the 6th floor balcony. Thinking about it now makes me cringe. I have a slight fear of […]
I haven’t posted in a while, but last time I did I was contemplating on ending my existence. At the time I did not have a reliable method and decided to delay the process. I recently bought an illegal handgun and plan on taking my life tonight with one of the most lethal methods possible. If I do survive then I know I’m going to be suffering severe injuries and may end up worse than I am now, but I’m willing to take that risk. Everybody knows that guns and suicidal individuals don’t mix very well, but it’s only a matter of time before I […]
I can sleep 12+ hours and I wake up feeling worse than I did before I went to to bed. Its gotten a lot worse these past few months. At this point I try to stay up as long as I can because I don’t want to sleep anymore. I pills don’t help me with the rest it only make me fall asleep faster. I feel dead. I want to die so I can get some real sleep.
I’m getting more serious about attempting suicide, everyday is just getting worse and worse. I feel like more people are ignoring me, more people are judging and complaining about stupid things and everything so boring. I feel pointless, I’m not doing anything I’m like nothing so what’s the point is even being here, I’m not a good person and I feel so lonely and crazy and weird.
What’s even the point, I have three more years left of school before I can left this boring stupide place, I can’t wait that long here. If I stay here it’s like being trapped or like a robot and […]
I used to be a member here.
I have a very bad habbit. I get attached so easily. I was on this site before. May be a month before or may be a year before or may be 5 years before (which I am not gonna tell). I shared alot. But eventually I have to stop. Because I felt really bad because I got closed to few people on this site. Whenever I post something, everyone replied. They felt bad because of me. So I aslo felt bad because I made them felt bad.
I’m too complicated person. I’m mentally not healthy. My condition is getting […]
I’m so tired , but sleeping makes me feel worse. Why do I even continue, I have nothing worth living for and even if I did , I’d still wouldn’t be able to do anything. I want to leave this prison I’ve made but I can’t, nor do I have anywhere to go. I feel so cold and hollow and tomorrow I’ll feel the same.
nearly whole of my life has been shit. Last two years it got even worse now im struggling. Ive tried so many time to leave but it never worked this year should be the one happy new year too all
If I can remember correctly I got depression two years ago when I was 13. I only had it for a little bit and at the time I had no idea why I was so sad and what depression really meant. I started ignoring the feeling and I believe I wasn’t sad, but I still struggled to get by.
About five months ago I got really depressed, and it was quite severe still I managed to do things. About three months ago it slowly got worse and I couldn’t concentrate for very long, I started trying to get away from people, I have plans to leave […]
I am 38 and have been living with depression for most of my life. I’ve always been told it gets better. Take these pills, talk to a shrink, get help, blah blah blah. After this much time, i can say for a fact that it does not get better. I longer I live with this the worse it gets, and nothing I do or don’t do makes any difference. I just want it to end. I can’t keep going on like this.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I wish I had the strength to go but I don’t.
I stopped taking my meds and its worse now.
I feel alone, tired, and like I am missing someone that I used to know.
My marriage is falling apart, I don’t think I love him anymore.
Why can’t I bring myself to do it?
I don’t want to hurt anyone but me.
The sadness is a heavy weight in my chest, a deep empty feeling.
It’s better than being angry, I think, but this pain is so consuming. If I’m not actively distracting myself (and even sometimes when I am) I can just feel her absence, the loss.
I don’t want to feel this way. I’m so tired of being sad. And even worse, I think I’d be happy if my heart wasn’t broken. After ten years I finally feel like my depression is lifting, but I still feel incredibly sad anyway.
It still feels unreal, that she left. She’s my best friend- I was her best friend- and I thought […]
I haven’t been here or posted for 11 months. Since then, I’ve been taking different anti-depressants, and seeing a therapist. Sometimes they just don’t help, but I knew I had to stay to take care of my oldest cat. I know how ridiculous it sounds, and I know there are are people with far worse things to deal with this Christmas night. My plan was always based on my old guy’s death being the initiating event, but in addition, this summer I suddenly lost a younger car to cancer, and then, after adopting a kitten that melted my heart, I had to euthanize her 12 […]
I am married and 22yrs of age with no children. I have a loving husband with a very strong mind, a mum that’s been a Christian most of my life. I have reached a time in my life where I have thought deeply of committing suicide. I have pictured it happening, pictured me in a casket with my niece and nephew looking at me wondering why I’m lying there. I have seen my husband finding me and crying uncontrollably. I have seen my mum bed ridden for days. I am very upset at myself for seeing all of this because this is not me.
Being honest […]
Ugh, I’m f*cking hungry and all I wanna eat is junk food!! There’s like nothing in my apt and I’m too depressed to go out.
Eating isn’t much enjoyable anymore because apparently I’m allergic to everything (soy, dairy, wheat, gluten, rice, seafood). What I can eat tastes like cardboard so while I am f*cking hungry, I don’t really *want* to eat. At least the foods I’m “supposed” to eat. -_-‘
Well I’ve got bananas and sour blueberries, but no real food. I ate my salad but ugh. It’s salad. Just. No. Fun.
I want to eat pizza and chips and sushi and noodles and everything and anything carbs!! […]
Hi all,
So i am writing this post, lying on the bed, completely scared about my physical/mental state. My anxiety has taken a new, aggressive form and my physical condition is getting worse day by day.
I have been learning a lot about how to cope with all disorders i have. I have learnt not to give up. But day by day this monster of anxiety has been becoming more powerful.
Sometimes i seriously think i will have a heart attack/stroke because of the way anxiety has affected my body. I am again on the verge of giving up. I know i won’t give up easily; but now […]
I have so much I want to say. You don’t know me at all. But for now all I’ll say is this.
i asked my mom for three things for Christmas. Three little things. I wanted to drive an hour to see a light display. I wanted a small tabletop tree to decorate and I wanted no gifts, from anyone. She did none of this. We have no tree. I didn’t and won’t get to see the light display. And I have gifts from my grandparents and am elderly great aunt and uncle waiting. I don’t feel worthy of gifts from these people. I am chronically […]