So right now im sitting in the living room of my home, watching my fiancée pack her things to leave. And it’s killing me. I can’t stand it. I haven’t much to say, just to say I’m sorry. I failed you, in so many ways and therefore I deserve this. Which is why I have decided to end my life tonight. You’ll leave, and be happy. And I’ll be happy too. You told me that you want me to think of my happiness first now. Well that’s what I’m going to do. Tonight after you close the door for the last time, I will wrap my leather belt around a reinforced section of the roof, turn it into a noose, stand on a chair and swing my life away. I don’t want to be in a life without you. I don’t know how to. But you’ll be happy. And maybe I will too somewhere, where ever I am.
All that you need to know is that I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry for failing you, for being scared, for being 19 and too young for marriage. You deserve a better man than I. For that I’m sorry
6 comments
Maybe give yourself a few days to see if things change?
Hey there, I am sorry to hear about your pain and suffering. right now I feel very similar since my girlfriend left me a week ago because I am ‘different’ (I am slightly autistic and connect the dots different and because of that what I say doesn’t always add up with my body language and that can cause big misunderstandings). She was my world, my happiness, my joy, my everything…I felt like commiting suicide too because the pain and sadness was so great, and not only my pain, but also the pain of unintentionally destroying her world. I sometimes still think that the world is better off without me, I felt like a failure, someone who isn’t born ‘normal’, always unintentionally hurting the ones I loved the most.
Try to give it some time, you are still so young (I am 32). I am now a week further and it still hurts alot, but I feel a bit better. What also helps me is talking about it and to read the Bible.
If you want to talk about it I am here for you, you are not alone in this and I know it hurts alot to lose the person you love the most….who was probably your world.
God bless you and I feel the pain with you…
My partner is also autistic. It has had its challenges. Would you like to talk about it?
I know that I am not in your situation, and I cannot even being to imagine your pain. But please give it a couple of days. See if things change, if the pain lessens.
Yeah dont hng yourself or harm yourself over this. You are young and have so much time in life to change and to meet somebody new. So one relationshp didnt work out. I have had quite a few ot work out. Just getpast it. Write her a letter of apology and wish her well and let her go.
then get onwith your life. You will find somebody new. Chalk that past relationship up as a learning experience. Trust me you will have many relationships in life
they dont always work out. But someday you will find the right person to be with
dont give up
Seriously my advise if you are still in an accelerated state of mind… get your hands on a handful of valium. Take a couple of them, sleep on it. Call a friend tell them how u feel and go from there. If the thoughts come back take some more valium. Repeat. Do die over a girl.. there are over 3 billion more to chose from