Mabe its satan but i need to die like now, i am possessed, and honestly this world is ending, im not dealing with this any longer, i lost everything in 2011 and suicide is my only way out.. i try every week
I have 2 options:
Figure out how to die in the next month
OR
Tell everyone I screwed up my dream career because I posted a unprofessional comment on a facebook page while stressed and resentful, in which case I will lose all respect from everyone, never truely enjoy life and somehow pay back school loans. We all make mistakes, I just dont know how to fix mine.
Any suggestions?
There are 1,600 people in my school and I feel so alone. I have a lot of friends, but I can never truly be myself around them. No one understands me and they all think I’m weird if I say the “wrong” thing, so I have built a wall between me and them. The only person who I can truly be myself around has moved thousands of miles away /: It just makes me so frustrated that out of all my friends at school, none of them truly know me.
1,2,3 8,9,10….why have 4,5,6 and 7? well idk lets see where this goes, 1: the beginning. 2: starting life 3: getting the concept see? simple shit right? well 4: understanding drama. 5: dealing with it. 6: starting to fall. 7: fell over. yeah um kinda hard huh? now 8: picking urself up. 9: finding U again. 10: live in peace. then die. DUH. sooo my point. idk…i come up with some weird stuff..all depends on my mood. anyways…idk but im sure we can agree we all want 1 and 10 and at least 1,2,3, 8,9,10 but really??? who wants to go through 4,5,6, […]
so much has happened since my last post.
boyfriend, new school year, counselling, self harm +Â movement.
School stresses me out as its the last year of my GCSE’s 🙁
and my self harm hasnt cut down, or increased… maybe a little bit.
Everyone tries and helps me, like the ones who are most close. WHY CANT THEY STOP ME? i make promises and i just break them, making me feel even more shit about everything, i bring it all on myself so i dont know why i am like this
I started counselling start of July ever since my parents found out about my self harm, […]
It’s become so much more apparent , what life has become
it not  exactly what you want, but there is still ways to be happy, with some help
it was about a year ago that i would come to this site and leave my last word and most painfullest memoires
and when i’d see new members, it saddes’n me and who ever i ask had suicidal thoughts
now i come and there more members, this site it reup dated
not that i dont apperate this site ,but it just a sadden though
when the key to happieness is so simple, but were to complex to find it right away
happinesss take time […]
i am really shaking and breathing heavily…….my whole body is moving back and forth for no reason…..i feel tired…..i think its time to go to the other side…..
So… after picking up my martial arts class, I got involved with Quidditch. Don’t call me a nerd because if I were actually a hardcore nerd, I would be dead right now. Quidditch is intense. It’s like rugby with three hoops and three balls and a running snitch. It is tough! I was already sore from martial arts, my shoulders were dead. I couldn’t even do a pushup they were so dead. Well, we started off practice with running, karaokes, and ‘superman’s. I failed the superman part. I couldn’t fucking do it right. It sucked. I’m not a fast runner, but it was awesome, and […]
I want to die right now. Now. My boyfriend is so mean to me it drives me to suicide.
So my plan was to have tons of sex before i die, i have had a lot so far, but hit a bump in the road, i have hpv.. (genital warts) and i always use protection during sex, thisis the first breakout ive had in 2 years.. ive tryed freezing them off, taking multi vitamins, and there healing now, so ive tryed to hang myself 3 times the past month, and oviously failed, but i have a new method, charcol gas grill, in my car, i know i will die soon, i guerentee it, mabe the next week, mabe next month, certintly before 2013, […]
This entry is somewhat of a re-cap of things I’ve posted before, but I feel that I can’t say it enough. I hope those of you who read this understand that I’m not preaching or exaggerating. On the contrary, I suggest you do your own research and make decisions based on your own findings. I believe that society has failed this generation far more than this generation has failed society. I believe that this culture is probably beyond repair and has been for quite some time. I believe it started at the dawn of civilization when man invented religion. Society condemns itself without question. The […]
Today was really good. Went way better than expected. So it’s just typical to come home and have that feeling destroyed. Walk through the front door to a grumpy brother and a sleeping mother. Great, Recipe for success. And then it just got worse.. And now i’m this. I don’t know what this is, but I am it.
I have a surprise maths exam tomorrow. Am I going to be able to do it? probably not, I fully expect to break down… At least they say I can write in pencil as it’s only a mock. I don’t know how much longer I can go on […]
i’m so scared. maybe my dad did see the knife in my school bag, that was lodged into my maths book. i’m really scared. i’m not up for my parents confronting me.
i think i am most ready to leave this world, when i am alone. when  i’m at school, when i’m walking through a shopping centre, because they’re all strangers, and when i’m home alone. if anyone was to ever witness the things i do when i am alone, i would fear their judgement, and some mysterious way, i would hurt myself enough to never return.
every fucking time my dad tries to empathise with me, when i tell him i am having a hard time at school, he tells me “walk away and stop starting shit.” i cannot believe the people that are biologically programmed to love me. do they even care? its not like i tell them shit about my life, i just say it like it is. and wen i ask them, have you ever been bullied, were you ever the bully? they reply with no so how the fuck do they expect to understand when they haven’t gone through shit. i hate my fucking disfunctional life. as […]
i had the worst time sleeping last night, i woke up every hour I had a headache and i was feeling like i wanted to puke all night i am shaking today i have dry mouth all because of my attempt i made yesterday… i want to rip my hair out and scream i can’t stand it… i want to die but all that happens is we are sick then dying when we try to commit suicide……….
I feel lost and alone no matter where i turn..someone once told me dat god gives d toughest struggles the strongest..but im tired of fighting, im tired of pushing back, i just don’t have it in me anymore.. maybe if life was different..but its not.. Im in never ending cycle.. My one wish is to go to bed 2night..and never wake up..
If you feel like suicide because of how life is, I understand. This world is full of liars and corruption, people telling you that your problems are self created, and that you are somehow too lazy or unwilling to fix them. This is untrue. Since you were born, the NEW WORLD ORDER has sought to indoctrinate you, through TV, school, and even the radio. Everything works opposite to what it should. The wars of the world all happen by design, to allow the filthy rich and powerful to profit. 9-11, JFK murder, and the London bombings were inside jobs. If anything, fight the NEW WORLD […]