i am writing this while so deep in depression i feel there is no way out…so very hopeless…i can’t leave this world although i want to..i have 3 kids at home 17,14 & 11 my oldest moved out with his fiance & my 1st grandchild & in Nov. there will be another baby…2 grandbabies & i am only 35! I am married & i love my husband, but i hate my life!! Â I have no insurance so i can’t even begin to get help, i’m a stay at home mom because i can’t seem to function in the “real world” so no money…as i said […]
June 2011
I knew that god is never fair but I didn’t expect that it can be unfair to such a great extent. It can grant a person happiness and send someone to hell. My life is a disaster to start with, from the day I was born, I was fated to lead a terrible life. I was born with physical disability, my left ear was deaf. But I didn’t placed that in my heart, I still have my right ear. Yet god didn’t let me off, it granted me a terrible childhood’s experience, this experience made me feels that I am a shameless girl and I […]
I want to thank you for all your prayers and support. It really means a lot to me!
I have been studying option two of doing “it” in a closet in case the flow fittings(wich are very expensive, and will take to test)dont fit. Everything seems to be ok, except the closet door, wich opens with the slightest pressure attached to it. I could call the janitor about it, but he would ofcourse ask why i want the closet door locked(it has a keyhole, but no key)
There is a small ventilation hole, but plugging it wont really be a problem. The biggest problem is how to […]
Understand that I’m going to be taking off comments and allow none from now on. I’m tired of people talking trash. Enjoy
I hate myself
i hate myself
i hate myself.
I feel hot tears
falling from my eyes.
I dont even know why i was crying
it just suddenly fall.
I cant controll myself.
I have someone who loves me
but it hurts for some reason
everything is fine no fighting no nothing.
But why am i hurt
I hate my life
I get frighten over the littlest things
i shake
and i feel like breaking down.
No one understands me
no one knows what im going through
they think im fine but obviously im not
im not im not im not
why can’t i swallow […]
You ever get the feeling that you are just so hopeless?
I am always fighting with myself and how I feel. Sometimes I can be sitting with my family and friends and just think about how much I want to take a razor blade and let my wrists bleed. I think about how much of a failure I have been to so many people. I hate that I am so overweight because my father verbally abused me and made me feel terrible about how I looked. I hate that because of him, I constantly eat when I am bored or when I think about depressing things.
Most […]
i’ve never told ppl these things not even in blogs so this is so weird but i feel like i might explode if i keep it in any longer.
it all started in 8th grade when i was 13…thats when everything hit me at once. between family issues and isolation from friends my past came and bit me in the soul. i changed. it started as carving things in my arm, but then i carved deeper each time. i liked it. i enjoyed the pain, for some reason it would relax me…..for a short time anyways.
since i was 13 i always wanted my life to endbut […]
Had you known me in January you would have known a very sad individual. Had you given me a gun, I would have pulled the trigger. Had you given me a rope, I would’ve hung myself. Had you let me drive, I would’ve sped up and crashed. Had you seen me at a bus stop, you would’ve seen me jump. The point is in January, I wanted to die. I thought this was my only solution in life, there was nothing wrong with my life but I still hated it. I hated myself, my family, my peers, school, basically I hated everything. So this is […]
I guess I should do a little introduction..
I’m a 16 year old female, but despite my age, I’d like to say I’m more of a mature soul.
I joined because I’m sick of feeling like this. I’m sick of waking up in the middle of the night, clutching my chest, because my heart just feels so gone. My chest feels like it’s empty. Every one I have ever known has stolen a little piece of my heart day by day, and now it’s gone. I want to know I’m not alone, I’m not the only person that feels like this. I need something, someone to convince […]
I almost walked in front of a bus yesterday. I don’t know what stopped me really. I think that’s the best option because if it doesn’t work out the way I plan then I can always say it was an accident.
I really appreciate everyone who has read/commented on my posts. It’s just nice to have some reassurance every now and then. Today is a better day. No pressure, no stress. But the loneliness remains. I’m still completely alone regardless of who I’m around.
I hope wherever you are, today is a better day for you too.
I’ve never done anything horrible to anyone. My entire life I’ve been one of those caring people who can’t stand to see other hurting. I’ve always been there to comfort a stranger who’s in tears or on the verge of self-destructing. But I feel like I’m constantly being punished for something I’ve never done. Everything that I’ve ever had faith in has been ripped from my hands. The people I’ve cared about the most have died- my grandmother, & two of the three people I’ve ever truly trusted. The one boy I fell in love with recently crushed me, & I’m not sure I’ll be […]
I know what’s next you don’t you said a loser will always be a loser I thought you were family if there’s was a such thing as jumping up to commit suicide I would jump and let’s the blood run down your window we fight when I’m awake asleep and dreaming I can’t explain how much I want to kill you drain you out so you can feel my pain but I can’t kill out of hate and you and your friends told me to go kill myself so when I do I know I’m forfilling someone’s dream the only thing that will change after […]
does lemon juice work on scars
Night, my favorite time of the day. I hate going outside during the day. Walking around seeing all of the happy couples walking together, holding hands, talking, and knowing that I will never be in that position. I will never be with someone. At night, I look up in the sky. View the stars, the moon and everything and think about why I am always the one who is left by myself. Why I am the one who nobody even thinks about for one second. Why I am the one who hates my life while everyone else is out enjoying theirs. Then I lay down, […]
Godsmack – Hollow
One more step and I could fall away
If it happened would it matter
And I can’t tell if I should go or stay.
Same old picture feels so hollow.
How can anybody know what’s best for me
Another page I turn in shame.
And my decisions brought me to my knees,
I needed someone to blame.
I feel so hollow
I feel so hollow
Time to do what’s best for me I believe I can change.
Once upon a time in broken dreams.
Reflections that I can’t face.
So hold your breath and make a wish for me.
Take me to a better place.
45- Shinedown
Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you’re told
Keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man’s heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
And I’m staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In […]
All of you should read this, it would make my world. If you want to die, please read this, because I think you would understand. Please, this is my last request.
I don’t know how, and I’m not sure why but I’m in love with a girl. Just so you guys know, I am a girl. She is 2 years older but is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.
We’ve been through a lot. She basically hates me and says I stalk her and doesn’t wanna even contact me.
So today, I asked my friend to txt her and ask her to call me and my friend told me exactly what she said instead of telling me she said no, which would’ve saved me tears and probably my life. I wanna kill myself because she […]
Hi guys. I am going to sum up my story in a few short sentences.
I tried to commit suicide at 16 following a breakup with a girlfriend, but at the time it was a completely impulsive act. I didn’t write a letter or anything. I just tried to hang myself, stood hanging there for about 2 minutes and then the belt I used slipped and I woke up unconscious and with a huge headache.
Thankfully, I had no damages and best of all, no one knew about it. To this day, no one knows. I am absolutely terrified of being committed to a clinic or something.
Flash […]
this video just makes me so angry. it makes me feel like a big jerk. how come i didnt go away, and these kids did? how far did they go to get to that point. i cant imagine them killing themselves. its just so unfair. if theyre gone, why am i still here. it makes me feel much worse. ive been bullied, but didnt have the strenght these kids did to actually take my own life. im sorry, but these kids were lost, and i hate them for that! they should of never ever done such a stupid thing. they had more […]