It seems never ending, i ready to die i cant do this i spent the last hour readingthe most affective way to die eveything seemed so painful and not always affective, and wake up with a medical problems i cant do this i cant i cant im in to deep and been living like im already dead for the last month ive done nothing, failing all my classes , not hanging out no speaking and not looking foward to living. I really want a less then a second kill i dont want to know whats going on i dont want the pain i […]
September 2011
With everything that has happened, its like finally Im doing good not depressed and relax then some one goes and dies out of our family and its like everything is falling. What do I do? My grandma died this morning and I just found out about it. And whats worse is I had to hear it from an old ex boyfriend that I dont even talk to. My mom seems so ok. Like nothing happened. She died from a heart attack when she was filled with meds from the hospital. It has been 4 years sence Ive seen her and now I cant even say […]
I survived a suicide attempt almost three years ago – October 31, 2008, to be exact. I took a bunch of Tylenol over several days, and then took 125 Tylenol on October 31, 2008. Why? I got overwhelmed with life circumstances, and I truly had given up. “This would be such a peaceful thing, my suffering would end…” I told myself. I got so sick, threw up a bunch of times. wanted to keep the pills down but it was hard. I got really sick in the middle of the night, and had an epipheny…”I don’t want to go out this way.” I was in the […]
Hi guys. I’m just going to anonymously rant for a while.
I’ve been clinically depressed for the last 7 years, and it’s just getting worse and worse and I can’t see a way out. I’ve recently broken up with my boyfriend/fiancee of 5 years just half a month ago, my studies aren’t going well (I’m studying piano and no matter how hard I’m working it never seems to be enough), and I keep getting nightmares about my past experiences when my uncle raped me when I was 7 years old. I had a really big nervous breakdown today and lately I haven’t been able to sleep […]
okay, im new on this site, so I dont really know how this works. But I just really am in pain right now. I just feel like I wanna die. So much is happening in my life right now. I have tryed to kill myself four times before. And now I feel like doing it again. I have suicide thoughts everyday but today it really felt like an end. I dont really know what to do. Why am I here? Is this life worth living? I dont think so. But if I kill myself I know that my friends are gonna be sad, I dont […]
Im sitting here with all these thoughts going through my head….all these thoughts are depressing, heartbreaking, they make me angry and make me hate life even more.
Lately the only way I’ve been able to escape these thoughts is to go out drinking. Im only 15, but for those hours when Im drunk I forget about EVERYTHING!!! I’ve lost friends because of this but I am making new ones, they are what you would call the DODGY crowd.
It’s hard to stop because when Im sober up all those feelings hit me all at once and I feel so ashamed when I walk past poeple at […]
my psychologist told me that one day i’m going to run out of films and music to connect to rather than people. they are the only things that i can relate to. the words of a song or a character in a film. anyway, the cure just makes me feel like although i feel alone others feel it with me. robert smith is a genius. just dont let the music make you feel worse. pornography and disintegration, arguably the most depressing of their stuff, are my favourite albums. it just sucks because i’m a teenager and missed the days when i could see my favourite […]
and wonder weather or not you might still be conscious after a train wheel takes your head off and it’s rolling along down the tracks underneath the moving train while youre looking up at it going by?
When you’re numb,
All you’d want is to feel.
It doesn’t matter if it hurts,
If it makes you feel, well then so be it.
Life’s filled with a whole bunch of nothings.
At least that’s how you see it,
For you just can’t feel,
Anything but numbness, that is.
Kids on the block calling you silly, all because you can’t keep that smile off your face,
That fake smile, you’re so damn good at,
Even your friends can’t see through it.
One minute you’re smiling your famous smile,
The next you’re crying into your pillow.
Mom thinks you’re all messed up,
It’s not you fault you […]
DISCLAIMER: THERE IS TOO MUCH TO READ HERE HAHA, SPENT TWO WEEKS WRITING THIS AND IT HAS MY DEPRESSED STATE OF MIND INSANITY LONELINESS AND EVEN A PANIC ATTACK!!!
So many thoughts…Â
Filling my brain.Â
The dream about my dogs and snapping a dogs neck.Â
The thoughts of the videos I watched.
 The woman dying in the bathtub, drowning while tied up. The video game that may have caused noises in the night, nightmares, paranoia, and other paranormal mishaps. I blame my mother for that nonsense, but whatever.
I read Maximum Ride today, the whole book of Angel which is only 300 pages, about 82 small chapters. I […]
My name is Chamara, but call me Tyler. I live in Sri Lanka, I found this website after I searched methods to suicide. But when I started reading most of the stories I began to realize there are a lot of people who needs someone to talk. I would like to talk to anyone that needs someone to talk to. Anyone that has live messenger, yahoo messenger or facebook can add me using the following email address anuruddha.fernando@yahoo.com. I am not the great person on this planet but I know surely to love!
My story I will add up later.
I’m beginning to feel as though the only people I can (or want) to relate to or get to know better, are people who are broken in some way. I guess you could argue that everyone is broken, and maybe that’s true eventually, but at 18 it sure doesn’t feel that way. There are times when it just amazes me how happy some people are. I can’t stand it. I mean, that’s awesome for them and I really am glad they’re happy, but I just can’t connect to them.
I saw this girl I knew in high school the other day. I had always thought […]
Hey, I’m Persephone.
I’m seventeen.
I feel really lonely. Most of the time, I’m desperate for a friend.
Will anyone talk to me…?
You know what totally sucks balls? When you’re trying to live your life and enjoy a nice quiet evening, when on facebook everyone seems to be inclined to be a sensitive asswipe to you. Especially when you’re not in the mood for drama.
Just thought I’d throw that out there.
Been almost a year since I last posted on here.
The morbid thoughts and fascinations still linger through my mind as the catalyst as a result of life long suffering.
My dreams are what reality is to me, everything else to me is an illusion; a waste of time, space.
Or am I the waste of time, space? I concur.
My faults, leave only a trail of disaster & ruins behind…
Now that I have lost all that was left of value to me, I stand before the gates of death, and stare into its gaze.
To merge with the shadows, complete & utter Darkness, forever, in life & beyond Death.
They […]
Suicide
If you had a chance to do it, what would the reason behind it be?
What’s YOUR story?
If someone could give you one secret that could help ease the pain, what would you want to know?
I’ve been struggling with Major Depressive Disorder, anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder for about 3 years. I was hospitalized two years ago for obsessive thoughts, major depression and anxiety. I had homicidal and suicidal ideations for a long time. I hated school. Hated all those pricks in it. Along with the faculty and the injustice of the school. I researched the history of school shootings, and Columbine interested me the most. I could relate so much to Harris & Klebold. Their thoughts, plans and everything. I got to thinking: “Well I hate school. I hate the injustice of the school, my classmates and everything.” I was […]
I always considered myself a strong person.. I am trying to survive through depression, suicidal thoughts, and being alone. But now, it just feels like its too much. I’m losing grip on what was making me hold on for so long. I don’t think I can do this. I feel so alone. I always looked to God to get me through these times, but now, I feel like he’s abandonned me, or given up hope on me. Or, He thinks I am stronger than I really am, He thinks I can deal with all of these events He’s throwing at me, but I CAN’T. It’s […]
Where do I start? I feel like this is the end of a very long journey.
I’ve never really been what you would call a lucky person. My mother left when I was 5 and I was bullied for it. I broke out in psoriasis because of the stress from losing my mother and I was bullied for it.
I grew up and started to build a glittering career. Then I met a prince of a man. He was wealthy, romantic and thoughtful, only the fairytale ended when the prince turned out to be an abuser. I developed arthritis and he was bothered about being landed with a `cripple’.
IÂ fell pregnant […]