i love her no matter what♥

Exactly a week ago i ran away from home. why? because my so called mother told me she hated me & that she was alredy tired of me. i love my mother very much but the way she treats me just gets this depression of mine worst. i know i’m supposed to respect her but how does she want me to respect her is she doesn’t respect me. when i was little she used to cheat on my dad & she would do it infront of my face. that really hurt me  growing up with the picture of my mom cheating on my dad with 4 guys. she always always prefers my little brothers than me. she want to put me in a foster home. i love her alot no matter what she does but sometimes i just think that if i comit suicide everything would be so much easier for her. i’m just afraid of comiting suicide. im afraid of dying. but suicide is my best choice right now. i just want this depression of mine to stop! i’m might not comit suicide today, but someday i might just do it.