I’m not in a good mood today. It was a P.E day. We had to dance with boy partners and most of all of them i had was wanting to switch partners, meaning, i’m an unenthusiastic, worthless creep. I was depressed all day over one little thing. i’m so ridiculous. I wanted to cut myself all day, it was so painful to be me. These things, negative comments, just triggered me to want to kill myself. Anyway, i have a plan to. I don’t mean to give people ideas, but i just wanna know if it’ll work. One idea was to take an overdose of a medicine or to take suicide pills or something. Then i thought about another idea. Would it work if i poured a very very cold bath with lots ice in it and taking sleeping pills so i don’t feel the cold? then i fall a sleep and die? will that work? The cold water will make it hard to breathe and it’ll stop my hheart or something.
I feel the need to committ suicide. There’s a voice that just tells me that one thing. “Why don’t you just kill yourself.” It’s me, all me. I’m useless and talentless. I’ve always wanted to be an author or film director. But, how the hell could that ever happen? I don’t see any good in living. It’s weird though. I have a great life. A loving family, except my brother. A roof over my head. Healthy food to eat. A few friends lol. And i’m suprisingly not bullied, or too bad anyway. It’s all me, my fault. Is it worth the life? Should i committ sucicide? i sure do want to.
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Suicide over some silly boys in P.E.? Shit when i ahd that class I had this dance partner that some guys said was ugly but i thought she looked pretty cute :l She flirted with me a bit but she had a bf so i was sad. ANYWAY the cold bath thing wont work. You need opiates to kill yourself or some other thing with a b in it. Um OD is not reliable, was in the past but now most normal meds are made so you cant die from OD. You just end up vomiting a lot or passing out and waking up at the hospital getting ur stomach pumped. Um please reconsider high school is not the whole world once you turn 18 and go to a university you can meet better people.
I know it’s a stupid and ridiculous reason to commit suicide. But i’m stupid and rididculous. I’m always feeling anxious on these days about these things, i embarrass myself so much. And i’m just a big, ugly loser. That’s a reason i want to kill myself. Yea, i didn’t think it’ll work lol. Worth a try though. I know if i pass high school, things might be a bit better. But that’s 4 years to go. I don’t see it worth it man. I should die. It’s just how i feel it has to be.
GRUMPY: You aren’t the only person existing in your world. Please read my recent post and consider who else you will ruin if you think only of yourself.
Hi juridicus. I read your post and did think about it. Your friend had people in his life, people who cared about him. My only bestfriend isn’t talking to me anymore. It’s pretty annoying actually. You see, i know that if i killed myself, the only thing people in my life will be crying about is the time and money wasted on me. I annoy my family, i’m boring and very quite, and my friends have their own best friends. I don’t see it.