Work and pain

Last night, i worked 12 hour so i’ll be making $82 from that. sounds like a lot right, not really. Tomorrow i got to work again from 2pm to 8pm thankfully and i’ll probably be working by myself.  there is this woman at my work, and she’s a supervisor, manager or something but basically she’s my boss and she’s definitely bossy but it’s sexy, you know? is it just me or does anyone else find bossy women sexy? she was giving me attitude and kind of pissed me off but i was turned on then she was talking to someone and stuck her ass out and i was like “Ahhhh” all in heaven, she’s like in her 20’s and i’m going to be 18 in on the 24th of April so hahaha but god, she is sexy when she is bossy.

funny thing about all this that, I’ve been heartbroken once again and have been crying for the past 2 days. I should suck it up. i mean, it was pathetic. I was at work, and I had hit commission, (made over $500 in sales and, I get paid like 10 cents each photo, i sell)  and i should be happy, i was gonna make an extra $10 but i couldn’t even lift a smile. it’s like all this weight was on me, numbness and just it sucked. i couldn’t really think about death. just nothing, my co-workers were having a good time and i’m trying to act like i’m all happy and proud of myself when i could care less. I shouldn’t be sad and mopey ..but i was. i couldn’t really move and just bleh and now i’m dreading work tomorrow. i thought work would help me heal from heartbreak because i would have a distraction but it  seems it won’t do anything. I’ve had my feelings hurt over and over again by the same person for almost two years and i’ve practically done everything, i can to heal. patience, distractions and just everything but none of it has helped. i blame myself for half of the pain really. anyway, i dread going to work tomorrow but i got to do what i gotta to do. i know.