Hi there,
I recently got divorced from my wonderful wife, we met wen we were 14 and had been together ever since. Up until 6 months ago when she left me and my life had spiralled out of control.
She left me with over 20k debt which has trashed my credit file and take me 11 years to pay off. She moved in with another man and it broke my heart.
However I couldn’t believe my luck I met a wonderful girl within a few weeks of my divorce but things went from bad to worse, she ended up pregnant and aborted our child without telling me which crushed me.
i lost my house, my car, my pets and moved back in with my father.
I was weak and to cope I started taking opiates on a daily basis. The first time I took them was with the intention of overdosing but I enjoyed it so it quickly became a daily thing.
i visited the doctors with the intention of kicking the drugs and getting some sort of help as I am feeling suicidle every day. But it was so uneventful, I’m on a waiting list for 2-3 weeks.
I can’t believe what my life has become, I’m ashamed but it’s the only thing that takes myind off suicide.
I feel ready now though, I know how and where and I know my pain will be over. I know how hurt my family will be esspecially my father as he has supported me and tried to help even with the drugs he has been understanding and supportive. I owe him to stay alive and be happy but I can’t see any light at the end of my tunnel. I wish that I could but tonight I’m going to drive an hour into the middle of nowhere and OD intentionally. My problems might seem pathetic and maybe I am selfish and weak but I just don’t care anymore.
4 comments
Please keep hope.. please..
There are some similarities in our stories even though i can see you have had it very rough. I know all you want is to get better. There isn’t anything I can say that will truly point you in the right direction. Just hold out longer please..for your father and yourself. There is a good women out there who will want you in their lives one day. But you have to hold out if you want to heal.
Get your mind straight, stay home tonight (if you haven’t left yet) and breathe. It’s gonna be ok. Gotta hold on to yourself as long as possible
I can uderstan where you are coming from. You do have some rough circumstances but that does not mean that this has to be the end for you. You have to change your perspective on life.
LIke you are looking at the fact that your wife left you as this huge tragedy and the end of your life. but you have to change your thinking. Instead look at it this way. You have a number of good years with her and now its just time to move on. For me Life is like a book and a book has a number of chapters in it. So look at it as the years you were with you were a couple good chapters of your life. But your Book still has a long way to go. Start a new chapter in your life > and be optimistic that things will get better if you work on it and there still is time for you to go great things with your life. As far as your credit. Well lots of people have bad credit but there are ways to pull out of that. You will also find another lover someday that is right for you.
Learn from the past, savor the good memories from the past but push forward.
You never know the best years of your life could be ahead of you not behind.
But you have to get off the idea of ending it. And you should get off the drugs too because they only give you a temporary good feeling but ultimately bring you more problems down the line.
So get off the drugs, stop dwelling on the past and move forward. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you have made and forgive anybody who hurt you and then start fresh and make plans for your life to move forward. You can do it.
Everybody has some Down time in their life when things arent so good. But you cn pull through it and move on and do something cool with the rest of your life.
take it one day at a time.
Sorry, forgive me for sounding critical but I have to say that this individual’s problems might be far greater than any general advice given. Telling people things like “everyone goes through this”, “stop dwelling” and basically down playing his life and what he’s going through, isn’t going to make him stronger. His wife leaving him and his past with his most current lady is very tragic indeed. It needs to be acknowledged. I wouldn’t be able to handle it myself if it were me, having to deal with addiction at the same time.
I’m only saying this cuz we can’t possibly understand what this man is going through sitting comfortably in our own homes. It’s too easy to give advice.
Again..sorry for being critical. I just care a lot for these special circumstances. I know how bad it can be
You’ve gone through so much in your life recently, it’s understandable how you want to end your life and the pain of living. You do have one good thing in your life, your father, who’s there for you and is helping you, let him continue. Don’t be ashamed, these are circumstances that have arisen that you have no control over and have overwhelmed you, don’t end your life tonight but continue to fight. RealTalk30 is right that I don’t know how you feel, only you know how bad it really is, and that it’s easy to comment too positively but, nevertheless, if you can get off the drugs perhaps things will start to look slightly better. I hope you can take something from this, I know it probably won’t help at the moment, the pain you’re going through is great, but please think carefully about suicide. You say you want to see a future but can’t, get the help you need, let your father continue to support you, there may well be a future in the long term.