I’m heading on towards the future and I’m being told to start thinking about my future. The scary part is, though, I don’t see myself having one. I try to think about it, me going to college, having a job, meeting someone special. But I just can’t see it. I’m so scared because everyone around me is figuring things out, and I don’t know if I even want to live ’til the end of high school. My chest tightens up, my head starts hurting, everything gets a bit fuzzy, and my head becomes an empty void. Is this just me?
I don’t even know how to tell you guys what I feel. I feel a sense of dread, relief, jealousy, but most importantly, I fear the future. I can’t picture me in high school/college classes. I can’t see myself getting a job.
When I do think about it, like I said my entire self feels empty. I feel like a shell just going through life. I don’t even know anymore.