Never Loved

Looking to golden lights, disoriented by gossamer affection

You never loved me- lie no more. Leave me or love me, I shan’t stand for your façade any longer. I see truth, I knew from the genesis of your sin, it held no virtues.
You called my light delusion, and you called my patience an unchecked ego. When I spoke clearly at last, your shell crumbled, you held no quarter to the lies before which you had brought forth against me. You say it “I love you not, I care nothing for you however you shall live.” And so it was laid plain.
Fuck. You.
I knew. I listened, I doubted even that, and still you conceded to every doubt I held before the end. Heartless Heathens, You should learn to lie no more, else you create more monsters like yourself!
Your doubt an undeath energy, your judgement lingering, it festers upon the vulnerable. Look at my kin, See their skin, See their surface to your touch. Watch the ways they learn which I have not taught them. Witness the truth.
I aided, yea, I uplifted them -truly. I became better than what befell them and, most importantly, myself. Where I could not help, I listened and gave chances for learning where truth had been lost.
You got every chance I could afford you.
It shall all go now with the leave I take. Realize that you are blind and heinous in your patronage of such hate and unwont.

—

Hold me back again, then, I dare you. Ableist bastards  Do not pretend, for you cannot love who I am. You only lay straw over the nails you scatter at my feet, so I shall not take your path again. Forever, this has been a reason (if not the source of my greater, and reachable, anguish) , and written shall it still stay as one.

I will be separate, for you cannot become what I need. 

I give up what I love and require for patience with you. to persist among your care. No longer. You will only hold me back so long, for my lines of travel are untouched now by your negligent rot.