anyone know another sight like this i can post on?
Standing by myself I see a car go by with my husband and two kids in it. It keeps speeding up and there is a turn ahead. It only travles faster and faster. It rushes into the lake. The front windows are down. As soon as I realize what is happening I jump into the lake to help them out. I see the scare in my kids faces. They are too young to survive and breath in the water. Their eyes turn to glass as their bodies move in the motion of the water rushing in. I take my husbands in mine and he grabs […]
I’m sick of people. I’m always getting in their way and there always getting in my way. I’m sick of them telling me to be myself and then setting all these rules of this and that down that make me not be who I am. In a way I guess I am this this person. I mean, since I do act like this person they want me to be, that I am in fact this person. But I’m not happy this way. They say they want me to be happy… I do no think they do. If they wanted me to be happy then they […]
I haven’t been on here in a while an am not so sure what all I want to really say. My life was getting better. A lot of things were going wrong, but I was handling it. I tried to not think of it I think. Maybe that’s why all of a sudden I have been all depressed these past few weeks on and off. I’m not so sure really. It worries me that I am this way. Not for me, but for my mom and my boyfriend. My mom has been busy with the holiday things and the people staying here. I think she […]
a serge to connect rushes through me
a time bomb with no clock showing
chains holding me down
my lips locked together
my heart trying to jump away from me too
my hand just out of reach for a loaded gun
out of reach like everything else in life
leave me with the waste
it’s the wrong time to be so cruel
i’ll just die here slowly
it’s ok though because i can’t eat anything
too weak to struggling anymore
let me die here slowely like i always thought i would
leave me with more of nothing
please
please
please
Not that I want to be dead, really. I want to be saved. Loved, maybe? Not feel completely alone on this earth. I know there is people off much worse than I, which makes me feel guilty about the way I look at my own life. People without anything really. I have a pretty good job and my family hasn’t completely fallen apart. Slowly it’s fading, but then again, what doesn’t? My “best friend” refuses to talk to me anymore. It’s been a really long time. I don’t think she will forget about anything and I don’t think she will be my friend again even […]
i feel so lost. my mind is lost in memories of him. im trying to lock my tears inside like my shattered heart. i cant seem to find anything good anymore. i smile but it isnt the same as it once was. it isnt real. it isnt me. i dont know who i am anymore. i still have my life i am just treating it different(as someone told me). i dont want to treat it this way. full of anger, hatred, sadness, envy and tears. i want the friends i had. but i burn everything that is anything to me. i run to the wrong […]
I’m 17 to start off with. My parents are divorced and my mom remarried. I am depressed. I don’t really “cut” or anything. Though, I don’t stop from letting an accident happen if it would hurt and make it bleed out. I could most of the time, but I just don’t. I kind of just get really relaxed when something like that happens. It’s proly not good, but oh well. I have ODed once not too long ago and was sick for like four days. I didn’t think of anything though I did feel like shit. It was my fault I did though. I thought […]
“They say hatred is an underestimated emotion…but so is love, and yet that gets tossed around carelessly…”
I’m not so sure how to describe it really…
Last night was one of those wierd nights when you just lay down and pass out… I dreamed of what my family was doing and stuff. Just everyday things like around the house. This was in the morning. But it was like from a video point of view I was looking through. The video went into the next room and automatically I was back to regular view. My eyes were closed so it was black with the sence of light from the morning sun through the window. [This is prety normal, right? I think maybe it is […]
Life Is A Prison by Puff Life is a prison, Oh God let me out. No one to listen, To hear when you shout. Climb the walls of insanity, Ride the waves of despair. If you fall it don’t matter, There’s no one to care. Used to wish for a window, To see birds, trees and sky, But you’re better without one – Stops you aiming too high. Watching freedom is painful, For those locked away. Seeing joy, love and happiness, Another price that you pay. Strong is good, weak is bad. Be it false, be it true. Your mind makes the choice, And enforces […]
I’m not too sure why I am posting on here right now. I mean, this is a “suicide” website. For the first tim in a long time I do not want to suicide. I am content about myself. I wouldn’t say happy, I am far from that right now. But I am not feeling… selfish in any way. I am worried about my brother (which isn’t really m brother. he is family friend. we both have a mom and dad, but we call eachothers mom and dad as we would our own. wierd, i know. we all get along that good though. it’s just like […]
left alone again. why am i not use to this yet?! i mean, i should be by now. i dodn’t even know this person too well. what was so wrong with it? why did he thing it was so worng? to actually talk to someone. i have a bofriend. he has a girlfriend. i can sorta understand, and i respect his choice of not wanting to talk to me anymore. it just dosn’t make sence to me though. every single time i get to actually talk to somebody and feel comfortable about it. my life changes. it makes me happy to be able to do […]
So the drugs have worn off. My stomach still gets nautiated when I move too much and I have a really bad head ache after I eat. But I am acting more like myself now. Faking smiles and laughts as usual. Well, untill everybody goes to bed anyways. Now I am back to thinking of ways to kill myself without it looking like I did it or pin anyone else on killing me. I don’t want to hurt anyone :/
I almost broke up with my boyfriend today. Ha never even texted me. I’m tired of always being the one to text first. He can […]
Thursday I ODed. It’s now Monday and I still feel like shit. My parents think it’s some kind of “bug” or something. I just let them think that. I want to tell them so maybe I can get some help… But I can’t bring myself to it. Maybe I should have gone to the hospital. I don’t know. I just still feel like shit. I don’t know much of anything these days. No, I never “had my life together” but then it didn’t matter. I was too young to be thinkng of that so it didn’t matter. I can’t wake up from this. I haven’t […]
I am such an idiot! I see that something is finally going right, then I screw it up! I hate myself. This isn’t me. It’s not who I am. It’s wrong. I know it is wrong. I feel so guilty! Why did I do this? I know what the outcome will be. I have this small doubt still. Somehow It will work out. What if it dosn’t?! What if I lose the few people I have just because I had to say a few things like that?! I know how wrong it is. How wrong I am to do so. What the hell is wrong with […]
A couple days ago I started to write one thing on here. I thought that it would get it out of my mind for a bit. Before I knew it, five hours had gone by and I had no clue. The house could have burned down and I would have never known. I realized I was also no place close to finishing it. It made me realize how caught up in my thoughts I am. How much of the world have I missed? I mean, I can’t possibly see it all, but what has been going on?!!?!
I am almost 18. According to my parents and the […]