I’m too broke to afford a gun so here I am. I’ve lost my well paying job working on the pipeline and there’s no work to be had in my field, my girlfriend has left me because I can’t take care of her with no job I’ve lost my house my car is next down the line every 4-8 years I get a glimmer of hope that I’ll have a well paying job again and it’s unceremoniously ripped from underneath me by some politician that got rich in office over 30 years. There, that should give you the ammo you need. I’m calling […]
it’s […]
its been a while since I’ve posted on SP mainly because I’ve been pretty happy lately. About 2 months ago I had a big fight with my mom and I told her to shove it and that I would rather live in my car than live with her so that’s what I did. Yeah I had the balls to do it so I did I slept in my car for 2 weeks and I was extremely bored but happier than I was at home and then I told my ex girlfriend and her parents took me in because they always liked me only one was […]
Just an update my car is uncomfortable it does not have good lumbar support lol I’m sleeping in a Parking garage I’m hungry my neck hurts I have no money and I have a continuous headache I took a shower at my gym because I have not yet lost my membership I spend my day going to different subways until they kick me the fuck out so I can use the wifi to look for shit jobs because my data is very low. I’m […]
Been a while since I posted here… I bought a gun I put it in my mouth and I wanted to pull the trigger but I couldn’t. Anyway at that point I started to see the lighter side of things and now I’m back to the dark and I’ve hit deep space black hole dark. I got a loan for 2500 a month and a half ago and my intention was to go see a woman in Canada that I used to mess around with… You know because we both still have feelings for each other. Well I blew that money at a strip club. […]
of all the things that could happen this was a $200 mistake I got played… I was supposed to be dead right now but I fell asleep early…ugh so I decided why not go out with a bang so I look for a pretty young thing online because, why not I find a girl I like I proposition her and I come up give her the money she said she needed to go pay her landlord because she’s past due she seemed like a nice girl so I trusted her to come back and a little while later she texted me and told me to […]
i know that i said that i would wait but i found the key to the trigger lock taped to the inside of the box so tonight is the night I’m going to go get some burger king and a pack of cigs a few beers and finish the job goodbye everyone. ill let y’all know if i puss out at 10:00 tomorrow morning but don’t count on it.
i feel awful when I’m alone i feel like no one loves me or wants to be around me. which is probably true, i mean people just don’t like me. idk why I’m always nice maybe ill tell some bad jokes that aren’t funny sometimes but the good jokes come a lot more often than the bad. Maybe I’m not the coolest guy ever but people love me when we’re drunk i guess because its easy when neither of you can follow in conversation and just say whatever pops into our heads. but i guess my deep seeded hatred of myself comes from my inability to be […]
i was supposed to be dead by now but the ATF system was down so i couldn’t buy a gun then i went the next day and it was up again and i bought the gun but they didn’t have .22 bullets so i went to another store and it turns out that there is a shortage of .22 bullets in the us right now i call 10 different stores and finally find a dicks that has some in stock and i go and get them. a couple hours later i prepare for my beautiful death and take out the bullets and line them up […]
I hate myself I can’t take being alone it’s sad…really! I work out but I can’t get abs I’m nice to people but they treat me like shit I treat the women I’m with like gold but they treat me like dirt I can’t talk to women I buy affection from strippers in the form of $30 topless dances. I have bad social anxiety I say stupid shit that’s meant to be funny and when nobody laughs I double down and run my mouth… […]
I left high school because I was having social issues then I decided to go to Lincoln tech so I could get a good job and not be a looser and I end up getting a 3.0 at the cost of having two guys try to fight me and another pouring a soda over my head I start a job… Hate it conditions are terrible switch fields get lied to on a daily basis about advancement opportunities that don’t exist I meet a beautiful stripper by the name of Mandy real name Tiffany we texted a lot and I felt she may have been playing […]
today was supposed to be my death day i was jittery and scared but i knew that something would happen to push me to where i needed to be to go through with it… and i was right! something happens every day that reminds me why i want to die. So i got my gun from bass pro shop and then i figure out they don’t have the ammo for the gun so i drive to a dicks and they don’t have it either so i go to another dicks and i finally find the right caliper bullets and i get home and i start […]
Girls don’t like me I’m average looking maybe better than average to some girls. They don’t like me. Guys don’t want to be friends with me girls don’t want to be friends with me people don’t want to hang out with me because I’m not cool enough for them. That being said I’m a nice guy I give money to people I buy ************’s coffee at Starbucks I give money to hobos I treat people with respect I’m companionate why isn’t that enough?
I’ve been suicidal for over a year now… I hate myself I just want to disappear not many people would mourn me… Just my family I don’t have a wife or kids. That’s kind of the problem I have no one to love my lease prevents me from getting a dog so that companionship is out. I live with my mom because I’m 19 and I don’t get paid enough yet to move out I dislike her with a passion… What a *****, I’m adopted so don’t do that whole she birthed you bullshit I can’t stand the *****… I had a girl in my […]
In what world do you feel what I feel? NONE. I feel pain in my subconscious at a cellular level this feeling does not leave me I carry it around all day all week all month and all year. You have no right to tell me I have something to live for what the fuck do you know you don’t know what I deal with… How I feel. I’m broken I tried putting myself back together but it took superglue and it’s barely together and it looks like shit because that’s what I feel like… Shit I’m a good person I give money to hobos […]
I started to talk to this girl that I met at the strip club. She’s a stripper and we understand each other because we have had similar situations. Been through the same stuff I know her real name and I have her real number and I know things about her and her life that people don’t just give out. But because of her profession which by the way I respect, given her circumstances she has a kid and all and you gotta do what you gotta do well anyway her profession makes me feel like she could be playing me but I recently figured out […]
Tonight is the night I’m going round two I’m going to do it again but I didn’t do it right. Let’s be clear right now I did try and fail but I feel no remorse I was happy and content thinking I would wake up in heaven but instead I woke up in purgatory or the earth as some call it. I need to know what over the counter Meds I can take to end it right