lilsuicideangle007

It only replays it never ends
3 years being cut away from you and I am still being punished for loving you
The wounds on my leg healed shut but I have not. For I am still bleeding from my wrist with your name in the background of my brain echoing louder and louder.
I loved you but you loved to scream
Scream until my voice can no longer be heard and I am hidden in a corner
In the same room where you told me you loved me, I hide from you

I lost my voice
My appetite
And my will to […]

It’s been almost 5 months since my mom passed away and I am a lost little girl without her.
It’s been 5 months of my brain just on autopilot and me just being in the background of my head
It has been 5 months with the bare minimum to survive by choice
If I can’t keep myself alive that is a problem for another person but not me
I hate the idea of leaving who I need but I love the idea of being as free as the wind
It’s been 5 months since I turned 16 and now my world has ended.
Once Upon […]

That’s all I want, is one more second with him. One more second to be in his arms before the universe rips him away from me. Everything good in your life you deserve but he was the only person I saw light in. I wised away by the whispers that he left behind. One more second, I would be okay is only I had one more second in life. The time where nothing else matters except being with him. I can still feel him laying in my bed by my side being there when I woke up from a bad dream to comfort me and […]

All I do is lay here. I was laying here in the past, I will be in the future, and I’m laying here now. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to toxicity. Look at me now dad, are you proud. Look at what you’re daughter has done with her life because you we’rent there to show an example of how a man should treat me. Now all I’m doing is laying. It’s better now or never. That’s what my grandma told me when I wanted to face my fears. But my biggest nightmare is coming true. I’m becoming my own worst enemy and I’m […]

I wanna look up at the stars and be one. I want to become a star in a consolation. I wish I could be a free spirit. I love to just be able to clear my head at night in the starlight. All the trauma and shit. Nothing I can do in this world will be able to even remotely relate to his touch, his voice, his touch, his smell, literally everything about that man that was in my life. He was my soulmate and my stars. I wanted to go star shopping with him. Look at the star, look at the moon, look at […]

He said I was too late for him. That I didn’t tell him in time, I hate myself for it. Everything hurts and all that can make it better is having him. He is all I could ever want and it sucks being in love and not having him hurts more then a death could ever, I’m starting to lose myself without him and it breaks my heart more and more everyday. He says one day in the future but what if im gone before i get a chance to be with him

What do you do when you’re in love with your best friend and he has fallen for someone else. I know I’m about to pick up the piece of his broken heart but there is nothing I can do to stop him from getting hurt again. Nobody is ever gonna love him like I do. I’m Ms. Nice Girl. Girl only want sex from him but he is all I want. His entire personality and everything about him makes my heart melt into a thousand pieces and I love him. He has been there for me always. But right now he is playing with my […]

Today is my birthday 4 more years until I’m an adult, they say every year gets easier but they couldn’t be more wrong. Getting older doesn’t do anything besides take us one year closer to death. At all cost just keep your head down and fake a smile. I’ve been doing that for almost 6 years and I’ve seemed to get passed the world and there standers. Everyone is wish me a happy birthday and all I can say is thank you if even that. Life gets harder every year you are alive and everything just sucks. I’ve been losing sleep, yesterday was my first […]

It was brought to my attention that i didn’t give enough detail about my attempt and how I went into my coma. I went through a horrible break-up that lead me to suicide, the guy told my to get ran over by a train on halloween night, the next day i decided that I didn’t deserve to live the rest of my life. I grabbed a bottle of random pills and took them all. I was rushed to the hospital but it was already in my system, they had to pump my stomach and i didn’t wake up till 2 weeks later I was placed […]

In the middle of the first hello and the final goodbye there is the painful words of “I love you”

I feel like if I bleed out someone will finally care that I’m suffocating in my own sadness. I just want to go to sleep and wake up feeling okay, the only person I ever felt something with left me. His words were like knives and killed me with an “I love you” but I was too blind in love to see the lies behind his eyes. All I want to do is lay here, Christmas doesn’t even feel the same. I can’t find the jolly spirt I felt when I was younger, guess thats what happens when you grow up right? I feel like […]

It has been awhile since I’ve been able to come onto my favorite website, I attempted and was put into a coma. it was a really rough time and I was able to fight through it. lilsuicideangle007 is back and I’m keeping my same theme, my poems and rants, my stories and I’m just happy to be saying hello again to my identity. I’m back 🙂

You smile, smiling at everyone who has ever caused you pain. A smile is glued to your face because there are many secrets hiding behind those eyes of hazel.

Do they know about what hides behind that sweatshirt, in 90 degree weather.

Do they know about what he did to you and why your are no longer innocent, why you don’t show skin anymore.

Do they know why you stay asleep and never leave your room, behind locked doors where you are safe

Do they know why you are scared of falling in love, because he hurt you so badly you have no hope

Do they know why you smile […]

I’m fat, I’m over weight and I’m Juliet. Oh Romeo is a fuck boy thats a stoner. He brakes me to piece and i love it. I can’t live without him anymore. Taking 30 pills is not a fantasy yet a reality. Oh Romeo using me poor Juliet for sex. The one thing I can say that is very normal for the very young age of 5 that if he touch you, you can’t say anything so fuck it. Fall for Romeo because he gives you attention. Fuck you Juliet because Romeo hurt you so badly and you went back. Romeo, Romeo where are thou […]

I’m waiting for someone who will come take me away to the promise land and help me out of this hell hole that I get to call my life. I’m in pain and all I do anymore is sleep when I was to be happy it doesn’t work because people can see behind those lies and I can’t. I’ll lie about being okay and then think I’m okay when I’m really not. The stars will shine so bright at night it’s almost hypnotizing. I mind my own business in my hoodies and sweatpants but I don’ t know what I’m doing anymore. Falling out of […]

I’m scared, I’m scared of a lot of things but non less then love. I’m so scared to fall in love that it gives me anxiety. I shake and tremble. The last time I fell in love was with this amazing guy. I let my guard down and he took advantage of it. Took my heart told me that he would love me forever and that we wouldn’t hurt me. Stupid for me to believe him. He still crosses my mind. I’m with this girl who I’m falling for. It’s to the point where I want to cry but I can’t because I’m so numb […]

Today is going to be the start of stopping my self harm, this quarantine thing ends for my state on April 30, 2020 so I’m happy about that. But today my arms will no longer look like a bar code. Uhm yea thats all I have to say