Wisp

How do I get rid of these tiny things without spending much money? I’m not contacting the landlord about this. I figure they are getting in through some miniscule cracks that I can’t really even see at all. I’m thinking of just spraying them with some natural insect killer so I don’t end up poisoning myself, as this is in my bedroom and the stupid things only come out at night. Any help is appreciated.

Like many, I can’t just ‘move away’. Also rentals are really hard to find, and real estate agents tend to be you know what, so many people prefer to rent privately, I guess. But I’m in temporary social housing right now anyway. Yeah great, way to feel secure! Great, my post just sounds like a whole lot of complaining.
Anyway, in small towns, word gets around. So if I appear visibly agitated one day (I try to hide it………) then word will get around. I mean, word can get around anyway, even if it’s not even true. And then people will believe it. And that’s […]

Misery, I hear you call me
Misery, I am enslaved to you
Misery, can you hear me?
Misery, I’ll be with you for a long while
Misery, it doesn’t matter how, when, where or why.
Misery, give me sweet comfort
Mi
Se
Ry,
I
just
want
to
SLEEP, in your arms.

In winter, this grass has been very green. It’s been spring for a few weeks now. How can I make this look better quick?????? I’ve been browsing online for help but I seriously don’t know what to do.
I can’t afford to returf!!!!
Can anyone calm me down or tell me what to do, all I seem to think of is this grass over and over again (Ps most of the grass around the neighbourhood has brown patches as well)
Can I die already, don’t want to be evicted over this grass problem…
I’m watering it more and I put down some grass seeds now […]

Not suicide related

My garden looks like shit. It’s spring here. I’m in a rental. I’ve emailed the landlord about it. There’s a bunch of dead and dormant patches of grass. It has barely rained for weeks. Well sorry I just wanted a roof over mine and mum’s head. I didn’t really give a damn about the garden. Now we’ll prob be evicted over it. Or made to buy new turf. I don’t have enough to buy new turf. This garden is a source of misery for me.
I get a guy to mow the lawn every 3-4 weeks, one part of the lawn is scalped […]

not suicide related

Yeah I have bought lotto tickets over the last view months, look everyone knows this is pointless and stupid… I’m sure that kind of money would be rather useful to my mum, instead of that measly pension she gets…
But nobody wins, and even people who do win sometimes end up in strife anyway. lotto must be so bad since I mostly only win a few dollars. The most I’ve won is around $50. I’ve won more on scratch tickets (disclaimer, they are just as bad). And poker machines? Oh don’t get me started on those evil devices.

As I’ve said, the world already sucks, but now it sucks even more. No, definitely not a world I want to be a part of. I was going to study next year online, but what’s the point, I don’t even want to be here. But of course I’ll never die either because I can’t leave my mum behind now and half the time I’m not even sure if I want to die, and also that dying isn’t SUPER EASY or many more of us would be dead by now.
I feel bad when I post anywhere because despite me suffering years of abuse, I’ve also […]

Not suicide related

Wouldn’t I only hope? Oh, wouldn’t I only hope? I don’t want to participate in this world. I don’t want to be part of it. I need new friends, I just sadly don’t really want any, nor do I want to spread my blight and misery to anyone else. I wonder why my ex still bothers to live, he quite clearly doesn’t like life and people don’t really want much to do with him. I can only say that he’s made himself lonely. He didn’t have to throw those friends away who disagreed with him on ‘coronavirus’. He didn’t have to throw away […]

I think I’ve really reached the bounds of existing now. I have nothing to look forward to. Look I know the world already sucked, but now it well and truly sucks. I’m tired of complaining because I know that so many people have it worse than me right now. There’s so much damage that’s been caused in the world and I don’t see an end in sight.
A few weeks ago I was invited to a wow guild, I’m sure the people there seemed friendly enough to some degree, but all in all I’m sure they didn’t want to hear about my misery anymore. I […]

Not suicide related

At the end of the day, if my mum doesn’t want to eat enough, that’s up to her. Can’t believe someone suggested that I get her some in home care… aaaaaaaaand what are they supposed to do? put some food in front of my mum and tell her ‘EAT!!!’ or start force feeding her with a spoon? No. they can’t do that. And nor can I. Now I’m taking her to the freaking doctor tomorrow. She’ll see that my mum is still rather underweight and… what am I going to tell the doctor? That my mum doesn’t eat enough? Because that’s the truth. […]

I spend too much time thinking about dying nowadays. There’s no hope. There’s no future. They’ll try and force that va ccine on all of us won’t they…?

I wish i could live in another world because I don’t understand this one.

Not suicide related

Nothing brings me joy, it could be said that I brought this upon myself though. The world situation isn’t helping though. And I don’t believe the mainstream media.
I’m not suited for this life or world. I have never been. If I died by accident, that would be great. Although I wouldn’t want to leave my mother behind like that, she kinda relies on me at the moment :\
I’ve had a rather miserable life (some of which I’ve probably created on my own) and I’ve also had good moments.
I’m under 30 but I’ve been around enough. Not going to force that […]

…to die, that is. Not that I’m going to try and do that anytime soon because reasons.
Just look at the state of the world. And alternative views are always made to look wrong and crazy. It seems that people aren’t allowed to have alternative views anymore!

It’s not going to get better. Well at least I think it won’t, from what I keep seeing. What’s going on now, isn’t ok.

I’ll just say that I don’t believe the official narrative of what is going on in the world.
The future truly looks bleak for so many people.

Not suicide related

There is clearly no point in being emotional over my ex anymore. I have to get into his head. I’ve always wondered how he can manage by showing such little emotion over things, or seemingly none at all (allegedly a sign of a sociopath? haha)
Anything he says or does, its just words. Even if they are ‘nice’ things.
I mean, I foresee that he’ll eventually throw me away in the future anyway, he’s done it to others recently, intentionally or otherwise. Funnily enough it seems like I’m the only person he really talks to lately.
Didn’t really think that the coronavirus situation […]

Not suicide related

This world is fucked. It won’t ever be the same again. Well, the world was already pretty bad anyways.

Hopefully I’ll be dead in the next year or so, I still have commitments, and again, it’s not easy to die, or many more would be doing it.
(Wouldn’t want to fail at that…)

Look at brain damaged people in wheelchairs for example. I’m not belittling them or picking on them. Why would anyone want to ‘live’ like that? It looks like a non existence to me.
Yeah brain damage can happen if you don’t succeed at suicide…

Part of me wants to live and hope that […]

Not suicide related

Ugh…..
I don’t even know what to write.
I don’t even want anything (yet I do, yet I don’t)
I don’t even have any goals
I don’t really even care…….

So Reckful ‘proposed to his ex’ on twitter before he committed suicide. It does seem a bit out of a place, and I think he was the one who broke up with her but I don’t know…
I’m not sure if he really meant it, but maybe he did. Maybe he thought all of his problems would go away if she saw it in time and said yes. This is just really sticking in […]

Not suicide related

How can I possibly like where this world is going? I can’t even believe what I’m seeing anymore :\

Not suicide related

If my ex ends up throwing me away, I should accept it. After all, a bunch of people have been leaving his life lately. Mostly because of disagreements with coronavirus.
Hardly anyone on the game server talks to him anymore.
His parents clearly don’t like him and his mum subtly warned me about him months ago.
Oh well. 🙁
He told a friend to ‘fuck off’ because he had different views on coronavirus. His friend blocked my ex a few days later on a messaging app.
So on the upside, I won’t be alone if he gets rid of me too. I won’t […]

Not suicide related

I feel like I’m on such rocky ground with my ex, although I kinda always was.
He recently cut ties with a couple of local friends he had, due to disagreements (won’t put the topics here). He told one of them to ‘fuck off’. The two friends were also friends with each other. I think my ex has been blocked online by both of them now.
I’m really wondering inside if I actually caused any of this, but not like I cant tell my ex that, he’d just tell me I’m being silly and worrying too much if I did. 😛
He’s also […]