Peace towards those who wish to die,
even towards those who hate to cry,
being a guy and sensitive,
makes wish I wasn’t alive,
guy insecurities,
you have to be strong and not weak,
for I don’t know how to be strong for myself,
or for others,
it goes to show,
that being dead,
may seem better than to be alive,
for it is and for it is not,
we all need to live even if we wish to die.
And I am not even drinking alcohol anymore,
For how long will I live in this mind and body,
a slave to a genetic structure I am not allowed,
to destroy I tried once with the original intention to die but I panic I took the wrong sleeping pills or I didn’t take enough sleeping pills, damnit there is no one in this world willing to kill me not even myself.
I could use only one trazodone not to attempt a second suicide attempt for I know that won’t be worth it but I can’t sleep anyone still here any poems or songs from YouTube that would relate to us all?
Starting with birth,
for I do not know the truth,
whether if I am really a by product of rape,
for if I am or for if I am not,
should I find out,
or shall I remain ignorant,
Am I ready for the truth?
Will I handle the truth,
I know I must stay away from alcohol,
for it truly destroyed me,
I do miss drinking,
It helped me from over thinking,
but now I must ask myself where shall go from this point,
am I nothing but a failure of life and responsibilities of a lackluster man who still seeks purpose?
How painful I won’t do it because of fear and remorse of putting my family and friends through a second attempt but since no one will peacefully and painlessly kill me I was just curious I won’t do it because I tried my first attempt and don’t believe I should try my second due to the panic and the regret and survival instincts will kick in like when I tried 32 benadryls the pain and fear even though supposedly I won’t have died on just 32 benadryls.
Sorry, I decided to drop out of that rehab treatment I’ll just try to stay away from alcohol and other drugs on my own I’ll just stick to vaping calms me down more I felt like I learnt a lot about other people’s stories and what not but I also felt like I was wasting my time and everyone else’s time.
Are they useful or useless personally I don’t really like the idea of talking to therapists just so they can profit off of my misery.
How shall one be happy if one doesn’t know how to be happy in this world when you’re own existence is nothing but a joke to others you have my information just kill me please I won’t be able to deal with my own problems when all I think about from time to die is suicide.
happiness is something that I don’t feel kill me someone out there you know how to find me just kill me for those who know how to bypass the system and bring me a peacefully and painless death.
For suicide
it seems like we want,
death,
for how long shall I live?
Until I die or until I cry?
Cry for what?
A better life?
To have a wife?
A girlfriend?
These questions linger in my mind,
Am I really a good person,
or am I just another hypocrite,
Or am I just a bad person,
for if I may how long will I live,
live for the sake of myself,
or for the sake of others,
and be a slave to a system that sold us all out,
for how shall the pain go away,
in the mind and body,
for a fragile peace,
that was built by war,
and destroyed countless lives,
while imprisoning others,
this world of ours,
it originally wasn’t our own,
as we […]
Why do I exist can someone just kill me please or give me the resources to do it because I don’t like having to exist in this world I guess people really want you to live in this world so they can just profit off of you or keep you around for whatever reason sure I probably won’t attempt suicide a second time but I do want to die still what is the purpose of my life?!
Sure, will stay alive for whatever reason but I just can’t die I guess yet there really is no one here that is willing to kill me in this […]
That I have to suffer my existence,
Fuck being an American Indonesian guy
someone just fucking kill me in Madison, WI
I won’t post any more information just give me something that kills me painlessly you who know how to find me via data mining, data hacking, and data tracking please kill me end my suffering it is just dumb to me that I have to exist in this body where am I going to be in the future this torture or give me a shotgun so I can just kill myself I only attempted suicide once now I realize that should have committed suicide instead this life […]
For the love of life,
but for the desire to die,
how shall we try?
I attempted suicide,
for I didn’t die just went to the psych ward or the looney bin if you prefer,
sure, I got the help I needed,
but even after that I still want to die,
for I am still uncertain about my future,
if I have a future at all, that is,
this life of mine is a living heaven and a living hell,
all on the earth also in the mind, body,
and soul if I even have a soul some of us wish for Annihilation I actually tried only once, now I am still alive this life is […]
I know that if I keep going through the program of the rehab education and group therapy it does help but when I go back away from such things the thought of suicide doesn’t go away such powerful negativity within myself mentally while trying to hide it away from others so I don’t make them suffer my family and friends all have their own lives to focus on but I can’t stop thinking about just dying my contradictory thoughts of love of life or also deep down inside I want to die but not strong enough to go for a second attempt of suicide which […]
Continuing with alcohol and drug treatment 16 sessions or more depending how it plays out feel a little better don’t have that empty feeling yet I know how my brain and how reality will continue to lead me down the struggling path of suicidal thoughts as they will based on whatever possibility and or probability which may lead to possible suicide attempt again I don’t plan on doing that again but I am smart enough to it is possible still don’t think my life has such a great track record of value and purpose yet within this path I don’t have to feel any problems […]
Hopefully I will feel better but deep down inside I know I still want to die but that is just between everyone here and however one collects this information and however one uses such data as research or for whatever reason.
A Star is born is the name of the movie.
A while back I finally had my first suicide attempt in What Near the end of Nov through December of 2018 I had my first real suicide attempt I am more or less better now out of the “looney bin” but I still wonder if I will ever be happy I know we are not allowed to have partners and what not but honestly I wish I did have a suicidal girl who was both willing to end our lives together in the most painless way together I am not going to post any info on here like I did last time but I still […]
Obviously haven’t killed myself yet if I ever do that I still wish I was allowed to kill myself just so I don’t have to suffer from being human or alive anymore sure my life is great and all and I know there are people in worse situations still want to die at times loneliness doesn’t really bother me emptiness does and being around those who make me feel suicidal.
Getting out of my head and out of my shell I probably stop but alcohol is just the drug of choice for me it does what I want calms me down sure I do think I am better drunk than sober not all the time but it helps suicidal thoughts funny the drug I used to hate is now the drug I love I’ll try not to be addicted to it addicted personality prolly due to OCD or as I call it OC I don’t really believe it to be a disorder just my nature plus all disorders are bullshit it is a real thing […]
Why can’t I kill myself?
Am I really that weak?
Why can’t someone peacefully and painlessly kill me? Sure it is a final solution and dangerous since some of us didn’t ask to be born in this world I am not ungrateful about life I just don’t want to be alive and deal with all the humans of this world anymore.
Autism, ADD, ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, supposedly Schizoprhenia (I don’t hear voices in my head or see things aren’t there unless I am high off weed)
Suicidal thoughts are a permanent infliction it seems they come and go as they please as if they had their own way of […]
I have bad memories of someone who says, “if I had it my way I would put him in a looney bin” fuck if I had it my way if I was strong enough I would kill myself not just bored with my life not certain about this life and wish I had the strength to end it all bipolar sucks my life is worthless to me at such times but I know if I ever do kill myself if I ever do that it would destroy everything that loves me but it would good for all those who hate and or don’t like me […]
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