Chronic Pain


My Parents are Narcissists

July 22nd, 2017by BlueDiamond

I’m afraid of writing this post because they might be watching this web-site. I talk and they pretend not to listen, but they’re watching me closely.

I discovered this weeks upon accidently stumbling upon Narcissist parents. They resemble this parenting style the most. When I learned about narcissism. It all everything clicked. Why I’m  so unhappy. Why my self-esteem is so low to almost non-existing. Why my parents confused me, and yet I never wanted to blame them for fear that I’ll upset them like feel their wrath if you challenge let alone question it their ego.

Here, I thought that my mom was overprotected and my …

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Just have to let something off my chest. Is suicide by cop possible? Down on a dark path. I need help.

July 21st, 2017by Black Holez

It’s 2 AM in here and I can’t even sleep with so many things going on in my mind. I didn’t even have thoughts of suicide and killing myself  when first coming to this site but things have been going downhill right now that this is actually the first time that the thought of committing suicide by cop and taking the bastards down who wronged me with me. It scares me that it has come down to this. I just have to let some things out of my chest if I go through with it. I’ve been putting out the facade for too long that …

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One More Step.

July 21st, 2017by kellinandrew

I tell myself, one more step, every day. When I wake up, I think, just one more day. I try to keep my mind on one day, one moment, at a time. Because when I begin to let my mind drift, I start to slowly drift away. Sliding into an uncontrollable downward spiral. I cannot keep living my life through the small window I have allowed myself. I feel as if I am completely alone. My boyfriend, is gone. Our relationship fell apart after I lost our baby due to a miscarriage. My rape case against my father has been dismissed. So, he is on …

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Anyone wish they could start over?

July 17th, 2017by Black Holez

Anyone wish they could start their life all over again? I’m not talking about arbitrary change personality type, far deeper than that. I’m talking about going to a new place and start over with a new identity, community, new set of friends. A total makeover if you will. I have no hope in this place. Sometimes, the only way to solve problems is to run away from them.

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Persistent loneliness

July 13th, 2017by HauntedDoritos

I am so lonely that I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. Been like this for 6 months and it’s getting worse now that I’m at my parents’ house. I miss my ex even though our relationship lasted like 2-3 months. Sometimes I wonder if I miss him or I miss the feeling of being in a relationship.

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First post here, wish it was my last

July 11th, 2017by chroniccat

Hi to whoever is reading this, maybe another tortured soul stuck in bed? Maybe we can be friends. Spent all day yesterday typing a solid goodbye letter. But I just don’t have the guts. I really want them though, those courageous, wonderful guts. 6 years of nonstop pain, dealing with a crazy, probably narcissistic mother who throws fits like a toddler, zero support, PTSD from being sexually assaulted, 27th birthday coming up, poor, blah blah blah. If anyone thinks they have the answer to this Q feel free to share: why/how do you keep living when you have nothing to live for? If I had …

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I really want to die

July 8th, 2017by Demonqueen

… But I’m scared of failure.
Will I be paralysed?
Brain damaged?

Fail and I’ll be watched and not able to reattempt.



I have mental health, undiagnosed… But imo it is severe.


I’m almost 26. Literally everybody I’ve met this year thought I was 12.
When I was 15…. Everybody thought I was 10-12.
You get the picture.
I’m paedo bait.
Not everyday you get to legally “bang” a “12” year old.

Lost count of the times middle aged men have tried to prostitute me and continue on to tell me they thought i was 12-14.

Walking home today with my mum and her partner and two men …

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My Parents Should Have Never Met suicidal urges are getting stronger

July 6th, 2017by BlueDiamond

Seriously, they hate each other so much that they can’t stand being in the same room together. Me and I know my brother is screwed up from witnessing this bad marriage. They both always put us down. It was always about them showing how they could get us to behave or negging us until they got what they wanted. Control Control Control

My dad is so into himself, and deep down inside I resent my mom. She created this co-dependent relationship. I’m forced to love her because if I don’t then I’m a bad person. Maybe I don’t hate her as person, but she sucks as …

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Do People that Commit Suicide Really Burn in Hell?

July 3rd, 2017by BlueDiamond

The perfect solution to already tortured souls is to torment them for all eternality. Sounds Good to me O’loving God. Who wants a marshmallow?

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Dear loved ones

July 2nd, 2017by CARLOSPEJUAN

Dear loved ones

Yes, it is true. I’m gone. I’ve wanted to leave this world for a very long time. Why now? Why here? Because I’m happy, living a life filled with love and opportunity. Because no matter how long I stay I’ll still want to die. No matter what I do I’ll still be suicidal. I will […]


Plan to end it at 30

June 30th, 2017by BlueDiamond

Sounds like a good idea?

I go to cheap motel and drink a glass of drano.

I never wanted this. I should have had a career and kids, but no. The world doesn’t want me. Maybe if I beg enough, I might get some table scraps or some peanuts. Dance monkey, dance.


Please Pray that my Ovary Tubes Disappear

June 28th, 2017by BlueDiamond

I know it’s the stupidest thing ever. Doesn’t matter, if you believe God or not just do it, or better not, come down here, and operate on me, and rip these son of bitches out of here, and even better, kill me by ripping my heart out or something. Pray that my ovaries with all my eggs catch on fires and that any guy who lusts at me may his dick shrivel so far that it ends up next to his anus. I’m serious. The world might be a better place, maybe you might save some lives.

I got into an argument with my dad and …



June 28th, 2017by Mallyjune

I don’t know what to do.  I’ve never felt so lost in my life.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago.  Because we lived together, I had to move out.  Two days ago, I found out I was pregnant.  When I told him about it, he stormed out and basically told me he wants nothing to do with any of it.

I’m so miserable.  I wake up and go to bed every night miserable and I don’t see a logical path of it getting any better.  Last night was the closest I’ve ever come to killing myself.  The only thing that stopped me was …


It’ll be Over Soon

June 28th, 2017by Blue65

I thought about it a bit more, and I think I now know more about my purpose in life.
I don’t have one.
Natural selection works for everything, and I’m no different. I was made dysfunctional, not meant to survive out in the real world. I’m too weird, too weak, too broken. Even on a website full of other suicidal people, I’m pitied- ignored by them. Nobody wants to be me, do what I have to- I’m the person that pushes others to strive to be better. They see me, think, “wow, I’m glad I’m not that,” or, “I really don’t want to be that,” and fix …



June 26th, 2017by Folfanda

Yesterday was my birthday, things weren’t looking up so I took about 20 of the only over the counter sleeping pill my parent’s had (they don’t take much) and I swallowed them down with a soda. I though it would be a peaceful, surreal, almost lovely experience, but as I sat outside on the hammock I started to feel dazed and tired, my body just kind of bobbed around for a few minutes, I thought I could just lay down and drift, but the feeling only intensified, and though its what I wanted, naturally my body responded negatively to the effects of the pills, and


40… still breathing

June 25th, 2017by Milestiba

I don’t write much because it takes my phone forever on this site to type on a post. Infuriating!! Commenting is easier. So my post is in comments below.


why God tortured me like that?

June 24th, 2017by an_old_child

after years of suffering, it’s getting good at last.

i think i’m feeling happy and it seems to last for a while. the question here is, why did God tortured me like that?

i know that the day would come that everything will turn upside down again and i will feel down and suicidal -since no happiness is everlasting and no sadness, too- and i think that i’m not ready for that day.

i definitely feel stronger than before all these things happened to me – i don’t really want to say what i’m referring to by “these” – but i don’t like the idea of being put …


when will this end

June 24th, 2017by nonexistingsoul

the longer I live
the worse I get


My fate is to commit suicide.

June 24th, 2017by Okami

A fate that can not be avoided. A fate that I do not wish to fight against. A fate that I look forward to on a daily basis.

Not a single day goes by where I don’t think about just ending it all, and the more I think about it, the more rational to me it becomes.

I’ve fantasized about the moment vividly. Fighting against my survival instinct, finally succeeding with my desired method, and just waiting for the inevitable end. I’ve even gone so far as to imagine people’s reactions, as well as an afterlife that may or may not exist.

To me, everything is pointless. There is no …


To Stay…

June 21st, 2017by Mehikka

I wish I could stay here…

However, talking to you all and reading

All of your stories…

Makes it harder for


To Stay

I’m always going to be falling


And yet, I post this and you people try

To make me stay…

Yet that decisions isn’t yours to make…

I try to make wishes to stay

I have so much going on I have a feeling that

I won’t make

It to the end of summer,

Unlike what my friends

Want me to


Even though

We do nothing together

They make it harder for me to stay…

Alive…and well and a whole bunch of random crap…

My life is






Nothing to see here…

I’m done…




Sorry Farah