Chronic Pain

2

Here I Go Again {push back the pain}

  March 1st, 2018 by lonely2k14

I wake up to aching sound of my phone buzzing beside me. I reach for it in pure emotional agony, immediately pressing snooze. As I try to stir out of my groggy state, my mind is blank, and can only think of my exhausted body. I tried to open my eyes but they felt as if they weighed a ton, I tried to lift my arm but it’d fallen limp at my side; given up, I let myself relax just for one more moment… I’m abruptly woken up by my phone buzzing once more. Here I go again… I go through the same, process of …

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3

WARNING: not coherent

  February 26th, 2018 by Lostsoul_20

I wonder how my shitty friends and rapist are doing being able to go to school and finish their degrees and accomplish their dreams right now? They don’t care the depression they put me through one bit. I bet they’re happy poor little depressed girl is not there to put a damp to their party. I bet others that don’t know of all the struggles my life has put me through laugh at how much of a failure I am. I bet all their futures look so bright while I sit here dim and dull wishing an everlasting night. Oh if I had known that …

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1

In need of help :’- |

  February 22nd, 2018 by Urm8451n

It is striking me hard.  I’m trying to hold on.

Why couldn’t I tell her what I wanted?

Why couldn’t I get mad at him for kissing my ex?   Why didn’t I succeed at saying what I need and feel when I went through all those horrors.

 

This place is bad for me.  it brings up the memories.   I remember why I quit going with those friends.  This f.. more like fuckers.

 

I’m….Im broken.  I’m broken hearted, broken minded.  I’m missing all the good things at life.

What will be the point at succeeding if I’ll end up friendless?  If I’ll end up alone.  If I’ll fail to …

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2

Need help

  February 22nd, 2018 by Stupid_One

Hi,everyone.I am 17 and i am done with my life.I donno what to do anymore.Sometimes i feel like suicide is the best choice but cause of i am such a big loser i cant do it.I tried once but something went wrong so i am here.I dont wanna be like this please help me!!

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3

Sick day

  February 21st, 2018 by ataria-coronaria

I woke up this morning covered in hives. I still feel an oncoming fever and my lymph nodes are swollen. It hurts to breath. I also have had years of reoccurring tonsilitis and stones and they are back too. I spent 7 hours last night trying to clean and reorganize my moldy, dusty, shared basement in an attempt to de litter my life and combat stress. But, it seems to have been a bad idea because now I’m soooo sick.

I was saying two days ago if I have to live in my awful house with this shitty life much longer, I think I’m going to …

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7

  February 20th, 2018 by Iucy

I feel so useless. I have no purpose. Not sure how much longer I can last.

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7

new here, feeling lost, venting

  February 20th, 2018 by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot …

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1

School…

  February 19th, 2018 by nonexistingsoul

I’m on my 3rd year in college. Only one more year left… But I’ve been not going to class for about 2 weeks. Going there feels like someone is strangling me and I feel like all of their eyes are looking at me and judging me. I feel like shit. I feel like a trash. I’m useless. Although my parents think I’m going to school, but I don’t and I only go at the place where I dreamed of living by myself. The city that is bright and beautiful at night. The city where full of artist like me are there. The city where I …

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2

Revisiting old traumas

  February 18th, 2018 by ShortOne

i haven’t been on here for a year or so, and iv’e done so good in that amount of time i never wanted to slow down or look back at how i used to feel and cope with my depression. but i have poor stamina, and it’s caught up with me again.

 

I first visited this site in 2016 right after my parents had discovered my self harm and suicidal thoughts. At that time i was being emotionally and sexually abused by one of my closest “friends”, that had began a few years before but it peaked that year. The person who took advantage of me …

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2

Became a psychopath

  February 18th, 2018 by Urm8451n

I was pushed to my limits again.
This time is a combination. I had a dream in which I stabbed 4 guys over a fight, which I manipulated them to start.

When I was a young boy, my brother abused me physically. He blackmailed me to do him a lot of favors and to serve him. I wanted to kill him for few years back then. I really craved the idea.

Later when I became 16/14 my mom used to berserker on me with vocal violence. She said I was a waste of money and energy. She said she …

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1

No more sorrow

  February 18th, 2018 by EternalED

This depression got me weak.

I see no hope.

sun is gone forever.

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3

alone

  February 18th, 2018 by iamdarling

well, the truth is, i’m all alone in this world.

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2

When the Breakdown is Over

  February 17th, 2018 by Iucy

This is one of poems I’ve written: When the breakdown is over
The worst part about a breakdown is when it’s over
For a few minutes that feel like years
You just sit there, with your bloodshot eyes and your tear stained face…
emotionless
Everything around you is quiet
And you’re sad; you’re so so sad
Yet everything is numb
Everything is empty
You look straight ahead into the nothingness that you are
Then… you think back to what happened a few minutes ago
And you wish you could go back in time
Just so that you could comfort your own self
So that you could give yourself a hug, because no one else would
So that you could …

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2

An update

  February 16th, 2018 by Elysianvinyl

Hello! If you remember any of my last posts (I don’t blame you if you dont), I’m currently in a mental rehabilitation center as necessary due to my recent suicide attempt. They allowed me technology today.

They’ve been shoving psyciatric pills down my throat and it’s so annoying, but I guess whatever helps. I hope to be out by the end of March.

See you the next time Im allowed my phone. Stay strong.

~Alex.

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0

My Job doesn’t fit me..

  February 12th, 2018 by nonexistingsoul

I think being an illustrator is not good for me. Well, it’s like I’m not good for an illustrator. This mental issues of mine affects my job. Right now, I can’t seem to draw. I can’t push myself. Not because I feel lazy but because I feel so satisfied with my work but my team, well some of the team, suggest something that DOESN’T really fit in what I’m drawing. I was so satisfied with what I did and already checked if this is okay, if this good and i already finished it maybe 2 weeks ago and it should be submitted 2 WEEKS AGO, …

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14

Super Vincible

  February 10th, 2018 by Cordless

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17

  February 6th, 2018 by Iucy

I would be so grateful if anyone could comment something nice right now. I just need to hear some nice words. Please, I just need someone to say something nice to me.

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2

I’m Crazy, I Should Kill Myself

  February 5th, 2018 by Bettyblossom

Maybe I’m a psychopath. Maybe I truly am mentally disconnected from reality. Lacking empathy. But I want attention. After I tried to kill myself I just wanted to shout it to the world. Why did I want to do that? Why do I want to do anything? I’m useless. Oof, this is a hard one to swallow.

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1

im feeling weak again.

  February 1st, 2018 by Elysianvinyl

I went back to school and work today, after nearly a week of staying in bed. Ive been eating less than 400 calories a day, but at this point i don’t even feel hungery.

Things have been looking better for me, but i feel so selfish for not being happy. I feel numb and sluggish, and i am anxiety stricken every moment of the day.

My mother hasnt been home much, so i dont have to deal with her as much as i usually do. Ive had a break from the screaming.

although my mother is screaming at me, my brain is hollering at the top of its …

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1

those shitty walk cycles in late 90’s 3D animation

  January 31st, 2018 by thetrashmen

I’m doing a wonderful job of getting progressively worse

My mother is considering quitting her job because

I’m kinda shutting down.

 

She told me her day has been okay

but I’m told she nearly crashed this morning

because my bullshit made her break down mentally.

 

I saw this kid walking to school near me yesterday.

I don’t see that too often because most people around here seem to get rides.

I believe he’s a junior.

He seemed mature

in that traditional sense

like adults could take him seriously

but I noticed the entire walk

that his actions

seemed to be completely independent of his surroundings.

It reminded me of low budget graphics

and how, in truly terrible films, the characters have …

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