Chronic Pain

10

my life is a mess

September 19th, 2017by iamdarling

i’m ugly.

i’m untalented.

i have no friends.

i haven’t attended school for two years.

my family are abusive.

 

 

my life is a mess, and i can’t clean it up.

i have nothing going for me,

and i am going nowhere.

i’ve ruined myself and my life.

 

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10

I’m so desperate and useless

September 17th, 2017by Kiwiz

I look like a spoiled brat keep flinging throwing paper, punching on the table and burst into tears, my mom asked me “What happened? Fill her in.” I said because my TSI reading score is appalling and I cannot pass the TSI reading test. I don’t like the TSI reading test because it keeps bugging […]

25

I’m too short

September 17th, 2017by asperger rebel

Hey, guys! I realized why people reject me. Because I’m a fucking midget. I’m just 5’6, shorter than average white girls. Now I understand my miserable life. Girls don’t want me because I’m too short, these bitches prefer tall and strong guys. How can I make friends with this height? People would laugh at my face. Girls would laugh if I ask them to hang out with me. You see, my life sucks. Elliot Rodger was right, he was short too, and white girls rejected him all time. I’m suffering the same cruelty from women. What can I do? Slit my throat and end my fucking life seem …

1

The time when everything stopped permanently

September 17th, 2017by LastMonths

Once there was a glee good boy who had everything he ever wanted a complete family with normal days and a normal life. Until one day his father decided to fuck everything up leaving them without any fucking clue as to where,what,why he did it.

The boy tried to find his father with her mother helping her to move on in the process, but the boy was stuck in time he was in a permanent loop of asking why.

Then came the days we call everyday life for him it was hard and he was trying his best, then one day his drunkard uncle beat him down …

1

Within

September 14th, 2017by breaking_the_cycle

Nipping at your heels

The nothing that steals

Seething, breathing

I can’t stand this feeling

Manifesting itself, in the hidden shelf

Of your mind

The hellscape in yourself, that you find

Real or not

It’s coming

Ready or fraught

Never whole again

Time stands still

The nothing that you feel

It’s like you’ve been here before

The blackness within

Fruitless battles rival, original sin

It’s so deeply ingrained

You can’t wash away the stain

It feels like you’ve slipped away

You know you’ll never sleep again

6

Ugly

September 13th, 2017by blackopal02

I pinch my fat in the mirror and wonder, why? Why is this still here? Why am I not strong enough to stop eating or at least excercise more to get rid of this horrible thing? Many people say I’m “thin,” but they are just saying this. My thighs are thick, my stomach is far from flat, and i can’t stand to wear anything revealing, even in private.

I can’t stand to look at my face in so I try to avoid mirrors. Why is my nose so small, my forehead so big, my eyebrows so light, and my mouth look so weird and stupid, especially …

1

rambling

September 12th, 2017by vee

it’s been a while since the last time i posted anything here, but right now i feel like i just need to type stuff out.

lots of things have been happening lately, the biggest thing being i moved. i was okay for a while, feeling pretty neutral, which at this point is great. but it’s only been getting worse for some reason, nothing significant has happened. i’ve been feeling very weird these past few days though, i can’t feel anything. it’s like i’m numb for some reason? yesterday i met a youtuber i really admire and i thought i’d be so happy but i didn’t feel …

7

No Escape

September 8th, 2017by blackopal02

Do you ever actually have a good day for once, and then it takes a sharp turn?

 

i had had a decent week. People had actually talked to me, I slept and ate better than usual, and I didn’t feel as bad as I normally do.

However, I came home today and it slapped me in the face. Depression.

“Why did you think you could escape me, you pathetic fuck? You will never be normal, you aren’t allowed to feel “happy.”

I stagger up but depression shoves me back down, towards my razor blades.

“No one will ever fucking love you. Those people you think like you, are …

4

Tiered of tiering

September 7th, 2017by The End

Don’t know why I’m posting on this. I’m just tiered of being tiered I’ve got zero friends and I’m too stupid to do anything special with my life. I’m ok with being a loser, but I’m tiered of it, I’m tiered of having the same conversations in my head, and I’m tiered of people just ignoring me. I’ve never had anything good happen to me before and I’m not hoping that something good will happen cause I feel like I’m meant to suffer I guess. I’m not looking for a pity party I’m just so beat from life just hitting me with bad karma or …

3

Holy f**k!

September 4th, 2017by disgusting

It’s been a long time. A lot has happened. I started having pain in Jan-Feb this year and found out I’ve got arthritis on the level of an 80-90 year old and I need my knees replaced within this year. Of course I can’t get that because I’m on state care. It’s rapidly degenerating and I face being in a wheelchair unable to do anything for myself. The nerve damage has gotten worse and I can’t feel anything but PAIN in my hands and feet and it makes it hard to wipe my ass just because it’s so painful to hold on to the toilet …

2

Cutting relieves pain

September 3rd, 2017by justbecause

Karla destroyed my heart, hopes, dreams & confidence so badly that I started working a song:
You told me you wanted to grow old with me,
You threw me a way like yesterday’s garbage,
You crushed my heart,
You destroyed all my dreams,
Now I cut with a knife and
it makes everything all right

You caused so much distress in my head that I can’t sleep,
Now I cut with a knife to make everything all right

I cut with a knife and it makes everything all right,
You’ve hurt me so much,
I can cut with a knife
and not feel any pain.

I’ve come to realize for one reason or another I can’t seem to …

1

And then it happened…

September 1st, 2017by Urm8451n

It was an irritating morning, upset stomach and mind full of dreams. it was somewhere back to 2014, 12th grader, happily passed harsh teenage years, I was never anything special – in my own special way. Didn’t achieve too much, didn’t succeed at everything – “blank normal”.

“BACK in those days” :
I had my own problems: my dad wasn’t supportive or even “there”, even tho all allong he was 20 km away from me. Didn’t look good, was sick with horrible sickness, couldn’t find love, didn’t had time to go out with friends. Had avg grades even if I tried to get better. argh…. Regular teenage …

1

i relapsed

August 31st, 2017by iamdarling

i don’t know why –

today has been relatively normal, i went out for a bit, and there was some arguing – but, nothing out of the ordinary…

all i know is, i was just watching tv and somehow my hand creeped up to my eyelashes and started to pull… and pull…

once i -properly- realised, i thought to myself, ‘the pleasure will last short of a second, then you will regret this for months.’

yet, i continued to pull.

after a while, i stopped. my lashes now look sparse, with a few gaps but… it could have been worse, i guess.

 

3

Right now, I wanna be not alright

August 28th, 2017by Ronin no seppuku

Let me just give up, Let me just let go,

If this isn’t good for me, well I don’t wanna know.

Let me just stop trying, let me just stop fighting,

I don’t want your good advice or reasons why I’m alright…

1

On how poverty and a mattress may be the end of me

August 28th, 2017by heartlessviking

I notice that anger usually is my path to self destruction. I remember learning somewhere that the default emotion for men is anger. The default supposedly for women is sadness. Anyway, I have male anatomy and anger is my default.

I would be feeling fine if things were working well, isn’t it always the way? The issue comes back to unrealistic expectations, and for once they aren’t mine (or are they?).

I’m back in school, doing a full time load (actually a bit more). If all I was doing was school I could fucking succeed. It isn’t all I’m doing though.

First let’s talk about my health. I …

4

Almost Done

August 25th, 2017by Almond801

I’ve been writing my goodbyes for a long time. They’ve never been quite right. They start out with gratitude and subtle apology but I get lost after that. I don’t feel grateful or sorrowful. I don’t feel much beyond the negative spectrums anymore. I’ll get brief bursts, like sun bursts through the clouds, but they are gone often while still happening. I have lived for myself but it was empty. I have lived for others and repeatedly failed in it. I have lived in transition while searching for solutions and believing that there must be another way.

Day after day it gets harder to breathe. I …

16

My Note…. Suggestions?

August 24th, 2017by philly1962

Here is my note, purposefully vague or else it would be a novel.

This is not a suicide note. This is simply my documentation that I purposefully and willfully decided to put a permanent end to my physical and emotional pain.

I weighed all my options carefully, choosing the one that would ultimately be beneficial to all involved. I must admit I went so far as to insure that everyone was angry at me to make it that much easier.

My girls are grown independent women that no longer need the likes of a clingy father in their lives. Therefore, without me around,they will be able to enjoy …

2

The Unwanted, Loved Baby

August 24th, 2017by Lovebug4142

I was raped the first week of May. By a guy who was suppose to be my friend. He was always nice and funny, but he knew I had some trauma from my childhood, and he took advantage of that. It wasn’t the first time I had been sexually assaulted. I was molested when I was 6 and a few times after that. I tried to forget about being raped and it was taking a toll on me. I was doing drugs and cutting myself more frequently. I wanted and was going to kill myself. Then I found out I was pregnant. What was I …

1

They are back.

August 23rd, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

Lately I’ve ben having these migraines that take everything that’s in me to stand. It’s not new, I used to have them daily until they somehow, the same pain transferred to my stomach. I got it checked out by a doctor long back and he gave me pills and said I was fine to go. Now the pain is back and it’s stronger than ever. I’m not being over dramatic or anything but it hurts to the point where I actually think there’s something wrong with me. Before I got back to my country I got a strong one and I literally cried myself to …

12

Self-starvation as a suicide method?

August 23rd, 2017by lusi876

Can I starve myself to death in just 20-30 days? I’m 15 years so I do think I’ll need a short period for dying I want to feel that sensation of my body eating internal organs and yes I’m very stubborn and I have a free will to starve myself even all those stomach cramps and slowly after third day it won’t be as hard as it would be. Currently I’m at second day my stomach hurts and everytime I smell food I feel the hunger but my desire for death is bigger than just a one hunger strike. Also at the end my stomach …