People tell me talking about my problems helps the healing process to being. I’m skeptical, but willing to try almost anything to get me to stop thinking these thoughts. Let me begin by telling a little bit about myself. I’m a male, 28, and an independent fundamental baptist. I don’t tell anyone what I’m feeling or thinking; the fact I’m doing this is extremely uncharacteristic of me. I’ve been having these suicidal thoughts for at least a decade (since high school) with on and off degrees of intensity. My most common prayer is that God will kill me during the night, I don’t think he’ll […]
Feel free to disregard this post. I guess it’s just for a bit of catharsis.
My melancholy has reached a point where I can’t ignore it. Sooo tonight I’m going to drink an unhealthy amount…to put it lightly…I’ve got the shittest luck. Ok, maybe not the shittest, but on my own personal scale it is.
I think I’ve developed a dependancy on music. So pretty much for 6 years or so, the way I dealt with my problems, bad thoughts and emotions was to blast music so that I wouldn’t be able to think or so I would at least be able to ignore myself for awhile but now I’m at a point where I start to panic if I go 10 minutes without music which I guess isn’t healthy but I don’t have any alternatives and recently my thoughts have been getting worse and when I tried to pause my music 5 minutes later I started shaking. I don’t […]
I guess we’ll start off with a bit of an introduction, I rather not give my full first name because of its uniqueness especially being in Texas I would be easy to figure out so I will go by Jules.
I could start off with telling you how life was an absolute nightmare and go on and on about my misfortunes but it’s irrelevant at this stage and I’m not here to compete who’s had it worse or beg for sympathy. Now to what I want to share and get from this blog, I will ask y’all to please out of respect and I’m sure mutual […]
I’ve been sad for years! It started the summer before my ninth grade year. That summer I realized my parents true colors. I was a daddy’s girl before that summer and that’s what really broke me inside because I put all my trust into my dad. Anyways that day my dad had said some hurtful stuff and I got mad and he tried to make it up by giving me money and I said “money can’t buy love” he gave a crazy look and left the room he came back with a belt and beat […]
Let me first tell you a bit of my story and how I found this website – I was searching for methods to commit suicide. Why? I do not feel suicidal at all and I do not want to die at all. However, I may not have any other option. The reason for this is that there are some criminal people treating to do horrible things to me and my family, presumably because I was the cause for their significant financial losses (we are talking millions “supposedly”). While I can accept being killed I do not want my family to be affected. Therefore, my only […]
So, I used to be a lowkey, small time drug dealer in the biggest city on the east coast. I’ve lived in the hood all my life and who I am is simply a product of my environment. One of my first drug deals was to some tall white kid who wanted a dub of weed. I could tell he didn’t do this often, he used as much slang as he could and even tried to sound “black”. The problem was that this kid wanted to meet at a train station and i didn’t have my metrocard. I hopped the turnstile to get to him. […]
After my incident with shoplifting, i’m even more convince that i should seek a therapist to help me through these dark times in my life. The problem is i don’t know how to approach my parents about this subject. Also before i joined this site i told no one about my problems, except for a few things i tell my friend. Anyway besides the few things i tell her i repress the rest of my problems, i don’t think i can face them, so with therapy, I’m not sure if I’m ready to unleash all of my problems and face them. Lastly, when my friend went to […]
“Pretty much all religions say there will be some form of armageddon, most people believe that this war is the coming of a messiah or something similar. This war here on earth, this end, or this armageddon is a war of men – good and evil. Evil is most definitely winning and the good people have proved themselves to be pretty useless against it. So, all the good people are waiting for someone to come out of the sky and ‘save them’ ?? ”
– splinter
“Which brings me onto something else: suicide is a tremendously brave thing to do. It is NOT an easy way out […]
It was a rainy, stormy night. There was no one in sight except for the occasional hurrying person probably out on an errand (though it’s unlikely because it was almost midnight). I just walked around the neighborhood, with my headphones on and just…walking. It was also kinda stupid, because God knows what could have happened to me.
But anyway. It was amazing, and I felt alive. I was alone and I could be myself. While the normal person would prefer to go out on a sunny day with clear skies, I’d make peace with the rain. It’s the kind of solitude that keeps me in peace. […]
when i was in the 4th grade my parents decide to get a divorce. everyone who has been through one probably has a similar picture with the same line “we both love you very much”. but after that my dad was gone a lot. so here i am growing up with only my mother who is depressed herself and stressed to take care of 3 kids. we would fight a lot! but one day we got into a huge argument and she locked me in my room. i remember scream crying all day hungry thirsty for water, maybe at one point i got my phone […]
Or create one for yourself, they said.
Like fuck this existensial crisis and depression and anxiety and every mental disorder in the world. Fuck the abuse of any kind anyone of us might have experienced. Fuck this never ending grueling pain that keeps resurfacing no matter how much willpower and positive thoughts and medication you’ve armed yourself already. Fuck this distractions I live in so, you know, life won’t be so bad.
How is it that even when I am supported by people who are there to help I just can’t reach out for that hand no matter how much I stretch it. You wonder if you […]
I’m really struggling to cope at the moment. My car’s MOT is literally up in 2 days. I have to get it sorted because I need my car. Yet, I can’t call a garage to book it in. I’m not scared or being wimpy. Every time I think about doing it, I feel paralysed. It is like there is a lump of asteroid in my throat, going down onto my chest and stopping me from breathing and swallowing.
I can’t stand the thought of going out, having to talk to people. I couldn’t even go shopping, I had to order it online. I’m good to go […]
In metal music. It’s so weird.
Back then when I was listening around different genres I tried to check out metal to see what the big deal was all about. I think it was Metallica, around two or three years ago. I guess you could say, while I had the speakers on full volume, I was blown away (not in a good way) by the sudden barrage of different sounds at the same time. Ok, didn’t like it.
Come what may, fast forward to present time and anxiety or whatever feeling it was yesterday, was killing me. Something was fucking screaming in my head and I had […]
My head is pounding. Absolutely throbbing. I overslept and am late for work. I don’t want to leave my apartment and interact with others. It’s exhausting.
The stimulants I’m prescribed will get me up and going… But in about 2 hours, panic will set in like clockwork. Then another pill for anxiety to calm my nerves and put me to sleep.
There’s no happy medium.
I’m quite upset currently. For many reasons, it’s like I’m carrying an extreme weight all the time but it only bears down on me sometimes. Sometimes I can forget about it for a little bit but it is always there and it is always prominent, in the back of my mind or right infant of me. And right now it’s infant of me, and it’s staring at me like one of the demons from Supernatural. And i wield my invisable sword, and take a swing. Obviously nothing happens, because it’s fucking invisible, but i hold to the idea that I’m trying and perhaps getting somewhere, […]
Hi,
Y’all can call me Tin if you’d like.
My story and why I’m here?
Well, I was a victim of a very violent form of abuse. My father, a drunk sadistic bastard, would beat my brothers and I. Though I was left without an escape my brothers could run to school, as I was only 4 through 8 at the time.
My mother was framed for abusing us when we were young. I was 3, and my brothers were 4 and 7. Our church were the ones who framed her, and lied to DCFS which led to our being taken away from her.
I suffer from a form of PTSD, sort […]
I’m a 15 year old kid, and for the past 4 years or so I’ve noticed the deterioration of my happiness and overall satisfaction in life. I’ve also seen a new depression seep it’s way into my life. It’s always there, sometimes stronger than others, but it’s never really gone. The only way I’ve managed to ignore it is through my hobbies, video games, anime, and listening to music. Although these things have also been one of the main causes for me having to face my depression, because while I can ignore it for a time, when it comes back it hits hard. All these […]
Happy Wednesday morning, everyone. I went through the effort to check my phone and see what day it is just so I could say happy Wednesday, see, I care that much about wishing everyone a happy day, you can say a lot of shit about me, but you can’t say I don’t care. If you were bored enough to read this and don’t know me, my name is Hailee, hi. If you were bored enough to read this and do know me, hi. Sorry I can’t think of anything more creative to say, and I have been wanting ever so slightly to post on here […]
I know you’re suffering, I’ve suffered too. For years, I couldn’t think about anything else other than how much I hated myself, how worthless I was and that I deserved to die. I spend a lot of time on the suicide project, even though I didn’t write very often. Now, since a little more than a year, I’m happy and I enjoy my life and I want to share with you how I got to that place because I think this could help someone on this board.
If you’re here, you probably thought about killing yourself to escape your suffering and I’m not trying to say […]