I thought I was happy.
Why does have to go down this road
Wasn’t it suppose to be full of happiness??
Nope, just fucked up people doing fucked up shit
Not giving a fuck if anything happens
All they care about is themselves
Amused by your own pain
They don’t know
They don’t care
Why should they mess with feelings like that?
God, take me out of this world
Can i be somewhere else?
Why am i feeling this way
A friend of mine just committed suicide 4 days ago and everyone in my community is totally shocked.
I was wondering what experiences you may have had with a suicide of a friend or family – whomever – and how you dealt with it.
He was a very smart student was best in his school year and an extremely intelligent and good person. He left a note that said noone should feel guilty with all his bank accounts and formal stuff. Then he left and jumped from a 10 story building. Before he has been fighting depression for one year and had medication ( I’m not sure about therapy). The weird thing is that i never had any idea , only very close people knew of this. He started university again after 1 year break (depression) seemed to becoming better and was very engaged kind of. And then he just killed himself. And i think none is really sure why ( most of us who only knew him as good friend) . maybe his close friends knew more. He told he wanted to kill himself already to a close female friend and his mother. Its weird how none kind of knows how to react to such thing. Everyone in our community is kind of silent, a lot cried..
but worst is, everyone seems to try to forget and live on , like nothing happened…
another question I have my self is, why did he write a letter saying none should feel guilty and formal stuffs… and would choose such a terrible messy way of suicide, is that some kind of message? I just want to understand, as i Myself been depressive for 2 years almost…
I’d love to hear your personal experience and opinions on this.
I’ve been having thoughts of ending my life. Again. Nothing is gray though. Everything is just mediocre. My life, my emotions, my future. I don’t want it. I want to feel like in the movies. It sounds weird but they’ve got color, emotions, people who fight for it and win. I’ve been fighting for a long time to better myself, but it hasn’t been working.
The crazy thing is that I envy the disorders that prevent empathy or feeling. I catch myself wanting to not feel at all, especially when my life is going to the shit bucket. I’ve tried porn, sex, drugs, booze, but they barely work and leaves me tormented the next day… And now my mind is telling me death is the only way to really stop feeling the pain.
Please tell me this makes sense. I basically want to die because life is hard.
Everyone depends on me I do everything that I’m told with no questons and I get no appreciation, everyone and everything is leaning on me while I have nothing or no one to lean on… I just wanted to disappear from all of this negativity peacefully… But I don’t think I can muster up the courage to take my own life even though I think about doing it often…. I need a way OUT