The effects of suicide on family and friends.
Friendship is bullshit.
Category:
Family & Friends Effects
Hey… Let’s just say my name is Azzy. I’m not all sure where to start…but I’m pretty sure I have the idea of what this site is about. Content 18 and older~
     So let me start from the youngest to now. When I was about 5 going on 6, I was very curious. My mind was to old for my body. My uncle had been 12, a horny pre-teen and he knew everything about porn and sex and such. On days he had to watch me, I’d beg him to show me the ‘naked ladies’. But…to do that I had to give him multiple blowjobs… Just […]
Since I can remember, it started in high school and I guess this is what broke the camels back.  My entire childhood life I was happy and spent most of my time playing alone. I witnessed a couple of bad things, the usual molestation by a family member and a couple of beatings by my parents for being an energetic child, like thats a crime? I think the most disturbing thing out of my childhood was finding out the woman that I love most in the world and felt safe? was not my mother. I didn’t care at first, but once high school came around the corner […]
Well if something doesn’t save me soon or before August-December I will kill myself(if I can hold on that long)I think I will jump or overdose if I jump it will be from our house or dad’s work building or overdose I could die in bed or in the living room.I want it during school so students can say oh i miss her teachers she was a great student NO!you hate my iwas a outcast nobody cared nobody cares I’m tired of dragging I’m waiting to write my note I decided not to put any names causethatwould be more media I guess I just wanted […]
My ‘best friend’ bitched about me to my sister. Cool.
You know what’s even cooler? She told my sister that I do all this crap, when that’s not me doing it, it’s her.
Apparently I ditch her to be with my real best friend. But, wait a second, Nicole, that’s you. The only reason I do that is because you’re off will everyone else and not paying attention to me.
I also take all my anger out on her. Hang on, Nicole, you’re the one who gets mad at everyone in the world when ONE person pisses you off.
Oh well, you know what you hypocritical *****? Either you […]
I need to leave everything everyone has begun to discust me to where I can’t eat sleep or breathe I want it to feel like your birthday not mines mines are always terrible you smile on yours I cut on mines I think it’s time to take myself to a brighter place school’s not safe anymore home is hell happy is far death is close idk what to put on my note I can’t say I love&and I can’t say i miss u all or myself idk I’m covered in gasoline & standing next to a fire
i feel some emotions, but not so strong most of the time. every once in awhile i get these rushing emotions: anger, loneliness, confusion, frustration, and overbearing sadness. My way of letting these feelings out is finding a song to express all this shit yeah w/e blah blah heres the fuckin song.
hope whoever heres this is able to allow this song to penetrate the depths of their angst.
At some points in my life I feel absolutely still, like there’s nothing but silence, it hurts more tha the worst sounds.
I’m pulling away from everything and I don’t know why. I normally hang out with my two best friends, one’s a girly girl and the other…well she classifies herself as a scene, and I’m emo. But I usually talk with them every morning but I didn’t today, and I have no idea why.
They asked later on “what’s wrong” I just said I wanted to be focused on school (if you knew me you would figure out that I detest, loath school and want nothing […]
so i just text amanda (my gf) asking if she even wanted to talk to me anymore cus she never does and that i guess if she wants to tallk then get to me over facebook cus im turning off my phone . . . so far nothing and i feel like i want to cry and actualy am a bit . . .now dont think me the crazy gf cus
this is how the last convo went
me:hello dear
her:hi
me:whatcha up to today?
no reply after that that was 2 days ago i havent text back since not even to say night i love […]
My boyfriend/soulmate committed suicide 4 months ago. I made him my life for the past 7 years. His depression and desperation got the best of him. As I lay here writing this I can’t help but feel his depression overcoming me, and the need to be with him. I don’t want to leave my house, I feel what is the point. I am in counselling, its not helping. I am slowly withering away. My friends have all abandoned me. I don’t want to be pityed, I am tired of people looking at me and knowing they are thinking “poor-thing.” I just lost my job (not […]
I need help serious help, but I’d have to talk to someone about it. And I’m not doing that, not for a long long time.
I hate everything.
Every little thing.
Everything bothers me now, and everything’s building up that one of these days I’m gonna explode. It’s not gonna be pretty. This is so unhealthy, but I can’t talk to anyone because I don’t trust anyone.
I absolutely hate going to church. Don’t get me wrong, I love God and everything. I pray many times a day, read the bible, and I’m always trying to do the right thing. But I hate going because of how I’m treated […]
I’m living in a closet. When i try to stretch, my feet bump into the wall.
When i try to stand, my head hits the wall above, and my mom and i barely fit in the closet. With no windows and not even a door.
My mother is getting sick because of all the dust the closet starts making.
I and her are getting sicker because the guy who rents us the closet has a family of 7 people. They are noisy ALL day and all that noise goes into our closet. Its so noisy that we can’t even hear ourselves think or hear our […]
My boyfriend tried to kill himself last week. he stuck his hand through a glass window. He called me and left a voicemail. I was so scared. so Well who would guess. I wanted to die too. I started cutting, and when i got to school i went to the bathroom and cut some more. When i got home he called me and said that the bleeding had stopped and that he was still alive. I cried with releif. But i was still scared and i told him that i was scared and that i couldnt function right because of him. He told me he […]
Okaie so I’m going to sum up every thing real quick from my last two posts.
One every one was dieing in front of my face. My parents (Last year, while I was living in Germany!<3) and my real brother und sister died. Then my adopted sister, sweet as can be died and so did my best friend.
Two Sisters funeral.
anyway…. i feel all depressed because I remember the memories and I feel like crap….. I’m like wow… what do I do with my life? … do i stay? or do I go? . . . any advice?
Every time I see or hear about someone who has died, been in an accident or killed in some way I can’t help but think “lucky bastard” or “I wish that was me.” Why can’t it have been me that died? why am I still alive when other people die who want to live?
even when I was holding my mum’s hand as she passed I way I wanted desperately to trade places with her. That is an image that I can never forget.
I want to die but I dont want to kill myself, I just don’t see a point to go on living so I […]
Hi i know NONE of u know me but iv wanted to kill myself for years but i finally got over it and anyone who is feeling down and out can talk to me 🙂 i wanna help ppl overcome this just like i did instead of takin the easy way out 😡 so if ur lookin for someone to talk to hit me up 🙂 btw i anit into god or nothin so dont worry bout that shit
I’m always alone. Depression has taken everything from me. I have lost all my friends and the old myself. There is no one whom I can turn to. People only talk to me when they want something from me. That hurts a lot…knowing that nobody cherishes me. Even on this site, I have no friends. No one really gives a damn about me. I feel like trash or dirt. How pathetic I am ! I don’t even want to see myself in a mirror because my own reflection makes me disgusted. I want to rip off my face with a razor so that nobody would recognise me and I could […]
Receiving the phone call, jumping on a plane to LA and taking the elevator up to the 8th floor where my brother was is all a bit of a blur. Walking into to ICU and seeing my brother, broken, swollen, and almost unrecognizable is very clear in my mind. They had to remove the right side of his scull in order to relieve the pressure in his head. His eyes were bulging out of his eye sockets. Blood was slowly oozing from his ears, his eyes and his nose. He was being jerked up and down by the ventilator. […]
I’m tired of this life i have.
I’ve been living with roommates almost all my life.
You may think “Well, that’s no big deal”
Well, actually it is. Because my mother and i have always ended up with people who later want to take advantage of our kindness and steal from us and hurt us.
Currently living with a family that does not let us live. The guy keeps wanting to take more money off my mom even tho he knows my mom can barely pay the rent. He is charging us $400 for a closet that’s 4 feet long and 3 feet high. My mom and i can […]
Well I sit and sit every day and live the same boring life every day, the only thing that changes is how I feel from day to day, each day seeming like im weaker.
I will not poor out my childhood story and I will not talk about whats happened recently, I will leave it as boldly as that I did not have a childhood, did not know what it was like to have friends, not know what it was like to have a social life, did not know what it was like to feel loved, forgot how it felt like to have a family.
I am […]