General

For general topics related to the site.

4

Everyone who loved me is dead.

August 16th, 2017by Lost_One

So I’m literally sitting here crying & just talking to God even though I’m sure he doesn’t hear me. I’m starving & there’s not a food pantry open & I don’t steal. I asked my “friends” & “family members” for food or to borrow money until I get paid next Thursday & everybody’s like you’re over 18 I can’t help you. You should have finished college. Blah. Blah. Blah. And I’m just thinking why is God keeping me here connected with people who don’t even care if I eat or not? I’m a diabetic so literally can’t go without food. I don’t drink or smoke. …

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2

This is in fact hell

August 16th, 2017by deathispeace

Look at all the pain and confuion everyone is in. Always hoping for the best but expecting the worst wtf is this?

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2

when

August 16th, 2017by lostidentity

waking up early in the morning, only to dread going to school again, wanting to stay in bed instead.

eventually going to school and forcing yourself to be with people who doesn’t give a shit about you.

going home and doing a lot of things that probably won’t matter after ten years.

staring into space, letting the silence of your home overcome your existence.

then going to bed, lying there awake for most of the night with your tear-stained pillows.

awakening once again to relive these events over and over.

 

when will this cycle end? because i’m tired of this.

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14

I feel like I’m not worth of anything or anyone

August 16th, 2017by returntosoil

I’m a person who isolates myself from people for 6 years now. I started isolating myself when I was 14, because I was abused a lot, both physically and mentally, by my family, classmates and later teachers. I started being afraid of people at first and then got anthropophobia (pathological fear of people or human company). I can’t deny that it’s really lonely by yourself though no matter how much I try to remind myself that I’m better on my own. That no one can hurt me that way. But even though I’m so very scared of everyone I would like to find a friend …

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4

The thought of suicide is the only thought that makes me smile

August 16th, 2017by Baconrind

My happily ever after will be happening soon enough. A publisher is going to publish all my poems. As soon as I finish editing them, my final goal is complete. I already feel lighter. I just want it all to stop

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0

Journal Entry #9

August 16th, 2017by WastingtheUnknown

deleted

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2

A gentle companion

August 16th, 2017by Asura

For as long as I can remember, death has always been a comforting friend who’s wathful gaze I could turn to, as I came across dead end after dead end; each one seeming more final than the last. Yet along with all of that I’ve ever done my best to advance as a person, and know myself.

So when I spend an entire summer being denigrated, gaslit, and attacked and emotionally abused by my family all the negativity doesn’t turn to self loathing anymore. And my passive desire to die, twists into one to exact revenge against those who abused me and never once tried to

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2

I am angry, or some kind of aggresive frustrated.

August 16th, 2017by anthropophobia

I’ve recently posted about a parting ways with a friend of 3 years. It was the result of one of my worst qualities. During times of turbulence and turmoil in my life I have a way of destructively alienating myself. Everything I read, every person I am close with, and the groups that surround me begin to cause a claustrophobia of sorts, and I start lashing out at everyone. This leaves my social life shredded and in tatters.

Since the blow up with my close friend, and what seemed like the end of our friendship, the person came back around. It seemed we reached …

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0

Unpleasant Feelings

August 16th, 2017by PrismaticGreyZone

The advice worked for me.

I saw this video a while ago and shortly after that, I had a huge fight with my mom and in the first half of it, I remembered this video and decided to try the advice to stay present for the unpleasant rush of feelings but at the same time I emotionally detached myself from the fight to observed it in 3rd person; I was basically being the referee of my own fight. I observed my own feelings as well as hers and tried to understand her perspectives. During the fight, I kept asking myself, why, why do I feel this way? …

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17

Cutting is easier

August 16th, 2017by shatterediris

I look in the mirror and see my worthlessness

I feel the blood pouring out from my wrist

My body empty, face still expressionless

Self hatered boils, why do I still exist?

In a cycle of nonproduction

Failing Classes, making lacerations

endless cycles of self-destruction

Always falling short of expectations

 

All I could will myself to write today, today was fairly bad…. Normally writing shitty things makes me feel better but today it did not, I’m probably just going to cut myself instead it’s far easier.

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26

August 15th, 2017by Viator

I’m considered an attractive woman, and I’m not yet 30 years old, and I get numbers from people, etc., but I honestly don’t think I have the capacity to “fall in love” again after my own experiences. How can I trust anyone?

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16

Hi

August 15th, 2017by kamidaka

Happy August 15 everybody!

Today was the day I chose to kill myself to test a myth, but sadly I won’t do it.

I have a huge, beautiful thing to do on the 20. And because of the proximity it had with the day I chose for my death, I decided to postpone it.

I’m kinda sad, I really wanted to be today. But at this point, any date will be fine. I can’t keep this lie going on, they’re going to find out sooner or later.

So, new date: the 28, 29 or 30, probably.

I’m kinda scared and sometimes I don’t want to do it, but I have …

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2

how can i feel better?

August 15th, 2017by iamdarling

i have depression – i mostly just sit in my room, and scroll aimlessly through the internet for hours.

what type of things can i do to make myself feel better? bear in mind, i’m only 13.

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1

Inspirational TV

August 15th, 2017by PhotographyIsMyLife

Around these parts, NESN (TV) and WEEI (AM/FM) run a 2-day telethon for the Jimmy Fund.  The Jimmy Fund supports cancer refer research.

The really cool thing is that they have a lot of patients on who share their stories.  Their families and often doctors and nurses are on also.  Sometimes it’s families talking about their loved ones who have lost their fight.

The strength, and grace, and compassion that is displayed is inspirational.

Today the telethon will get interrupted by the ballgame, but will resume tomorrow.

 

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0

useless

August 15th, 2017by blackopal02

there are 7 billion people on the planet. i dont matter i never will i am worthless and stupid and fat and ugly and i dont matter. let me disappear

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3

Can’t Move

August 15th, 2017by blackopal02

I can’t get out of bed. And that’s one of the main reasons why i hate myself so, so much.

I hate myself for doing nothing, for being unproductive, for being a worthless failure. I hate myself for being so fat and ugly and not trying to do anything about it.

My whole body feels numb and heavy, and my eyelids droop, yet at night i can never sleep.

Why am i like this? Why can’t i be like the girls at my school who have their lives together; who are on the school teams, have friends and significant others, who have no serious physical ailments, and who …

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5

Nitrogen method worked but did it? Failed exit bag?

August 15th, 2017by lonely87

I know my husband frequented sites like this.

A month ago he was successful in his quest for death using a nitrogen exit bag. He was 31. He left me behind, as well as two kids age 2 and 7. The pain and grief we feel is heartbreaking, utter devastation.

According to the first eyewitness on scene, my husband had a blue carrier bag over his head. There was a hose by his side. The eyewitness could clearly see the hose was on the seat next to him, his hands by his side, but he had slumped forward (he was in a vehicle). The eyewitness could not …

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4

It’s only a matter of time!

August 15th, 2017by Moonlitwaters

I had a surgery back in November 2016 that’s left me in debilitating constant agonizing pain. I developed multiple hernias after a surgery I had back in June 2016. They were incisional hernias. They weren’t painful, but very uncomfortable. I decided to have elected surgery to repair them. I agreed for the surgeon to suture them and then use mesh to reinforce them, so they wouldn’t reoccur. Which was her recommendation. After I came out of surgery I was in agonizing pain and no amount of Narcotics that they gave me could take away the pain. I knew something had gone wrong during surgery, I …

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23

Im going to kill myself

August 15th, 2017by John Doe

Im going to kill myself when i get enough money too. Need to leave this stupid world asap. Stayed here long enough. My suicide is long overdue

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5

Sober

August 15th, 2017by agirland_acomputer

im tired of being sober all the damn time. I am just bored and nothing fucking helps anymore. I felt better when i was high and i felt like i had a reason to keep going and now the drugs are gone and I don’t have any reason to stay.

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