General

For general topics related to the site.

2

I don’t get it

  March 17th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

Why do I get panic attacks for no reason at all?

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1

On The Clock (Again)

  March 17th, 2019 by AshCoveredAngel

This isn’t the first or last time I’ve been here. Just waiting 20 minutes to fully decide. The total time is double the last.

Would this be considered a note? Don’t count this as one.

I don’t have anything to say to anyone.

Just waiting.

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34

Water and gauze

  March 16th, 2019 by EmptyPluto

I’ve been feeling really ‘out of it’ lately and I’m not sure why. I’m tired and I kinda want to cut again. Hmm…

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7

March 15, 2019—The Day I’m Supposed To Die

  March 16th, 2019 by TheSadAngel

The night before March 15, I was so down to the point that negative thoughts have devoured me. It was painful, to be torn by two sides of which to choose. A part of me—the wounded one—have whispered me to go to the kitchen, took out a knife, and just end it all! The other one was crying, begging for me to stop. In the middle of the night, a potpourri of emotions swirled within me that I was left in a deep turmoil. Maybe that’s why I went to the kitchen and stood in front of the counter where the knives were hidden. I …

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11

gravatar

  March 16th, 2019 by Hope Dream Love

can anyone tell me how to change my picture? i dont like mine. its too bland.

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2

F*ck This Life

  March 16th, 2019 by Todamnbad

I been trying to kill myself for awhile now. I have no super lethal means. Yeah I live in America with no guns. Pretty Un-American. If that was case, I would already be dead. Trick to suicide, is forcing yourself into a situation you can’t back out of. But being able to stop to save yourself is comforting, if you want to opt out. But that’s a dream, Death is usually a slow and painful process, disease, hunger, drowning. If you consider takings minutes to die a slow death, which to me, it is. It’s hurt like a b*tch and you’re not even sure if …

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1

The weirdest thing

  March 16th, 2019 by hope432

I still return here although :

1)I am no longer suicidal and I have not been suicidal in the last 3-4 years

2) I’ve improved a lot my health

3) I am about to improve my finances

4)I have found meaning in life

5) I have also had other achievements and I constantly find others

The thing is dear suicide users of this website our world is crazy or rather empty like hell.

I prefer this website because:

1)the news are terrible all the time and mostly boring or empty

2)95% of websites and forums are souless and people if healthy at all engage in arguments all the time. And I am not talking …

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4

going to join some groups online

  March 15th, 2019 by nomorepain461

i have joined some online groups about loneliness and such. i need to find the courage to go on there. and to make myself known. my real life is….well….not going that well…but if i can make some friends online (outside of Facebook and twitter, i deleted those accounts), then who knows? maybe my life can feel more meaningful and such meeting other troubled souls. i like it here too, but im trying to improve my real life and get away from thinking about suicide type things when im down. its still very possible for me to improve my life, so i dont want to give …

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10

Whoops!

  March 15th, 2019 by headupunderdarkcloud

I read the news today..that wasn’t very smart.

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1

A better life

  March 15th, 2019 by Tellmewhy

If l had a better life l would not think so much about suicide. What about you?
At the moment l think about it.
I’m thinking, if l had a gun, would l do it

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4

2 questions

  March 15th, 2019 by Tellmewhy

Where do you get or drink water from? Is the water polluted?
Is the air from your area polluted?

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1

I’m tired of being hurt.

  March 15th, 2019 by Yk35500

I didn’t do anything wrong. But I’m hurt and betrayed.. Every time when I trusted someone, they hurt me.
Tonight I think I try to kill myself. I hope it works this time because I have failed many times

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5

scouting locations

  March 15th, 2019 by Ronin no seppuku

I spent some time today scouting various locations to make my exit, and I’ve narrowed it down to about 2-4 places. I don’t know when I’ll take that last step, but at least I have a good idea of where I will…

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2

On the importance of change

  March 14th, 2019 by AgentQ

There is a fundamental rule in physical training: that is the rule of specificity.

What this rule means is that one will improve exactly the movement one trains. If i bench press again and again my bench will improve. I will not have a stronger punch. If i want a strong punch, i must practice punching. You get the idea.

This reflects a fundamental truth in life that a human being will adapt to whatever is their environment — good, bad, the same, etc.

Why is this important in discussing suicide and depression? Because if you are suicidal and that urge is somehow connected to your lifestyle or …

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13

Don, and the lost cream.

  March 14th, 2019 by Once

I am a medical transport driver, driving people to and from doctors appointments.

I am learning to value simplicity these days. To see blessings where previously I saw nothing.

Don had a ride scheduled for 7:00 this morning. He lives in an assisted living facility, or as another passenger referred to them recently,  “a warehouse for the dying.”

I arrived at 7, and the staff was running a bit behind, so they didn’t have him quite ready. Rush, rush, rush, ok, he’s ready to go. Out the door and into the van and off we go. Don is in a wheelchair. He is probably in his seventies, and …

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23

Suicide because of chronic insomnia

  March 14th, 2019 by AXYZ

A year or two ago there was a user (forgot the name) who posted a lot about insomnia. The posts got increasingly desperate and then suddenly stopped.

I’ve had sporadic insomnia all my life which I’ve managed with pills, but now it’s really bad and the pills don’t work (doctors have prescribed so many I lost track). None of the natural remedies do a damn thing (melatonin, valerian, exercise, fresh air, and my favourite: “happy thoughts”, it’s all bullshit).

Wondering if anyone out there knows what I’m talking about, or if the user I mentioned rings a bell. I won’t ask how to cope because there is …

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16

6 years ive been on here, im done explaining

  March 14th, 2019 by sgiksw

biding my time. If anyone wants to talk privately or be a friend, let me know asap. I tend to not check here a lot. I have private secure email which i ask the same of you too. Im wondering what is the best way to discrete,y go about something. I feel like this place is watched. Watche dby paychologists, ha, yeah pay, and god knows who else. I know its time for me now.

 

Im not worth investing in.

no one cares enough to help me financially to get well. And make my qulaity of life better.

Only one person would miss me.

 

i wish i could read …

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1

Over thinking

  March 13th, 2019 by Hope Dream Love

You think and you think. And the thoughts never stop. Its always what if….. Yeah but…and it all makes sense and the more you think the worse it gets. The possibilities are endless. The questions your mind creates never stops until suddenly you realize……the answer doesnt matter because you cant win. No matter what choice you make you are going to get hurt. And its in that moment of realization that you wonder why bother….and the process starts over again.

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6

Confused Rambling

  March 13th, 2019 by thehusk

I’ve been trying again to pin down what exactly it is I’m still doing here. As usual I’m failing to find a clear answer. By any standard morality, I would’ve been dead long ago. Any halfway decent person would’ve committed seppuku immediately in my situation. But of course if I were halfway decent, I wouldn’t be in this situation. Clearly, conventional morality doesn’t have a strong enough pull on my mind to motivate me to do ‘the right thing’. I feel shame, I feel guilt, I know that there’s a deep wrongness in me. But that’s apparently just not enough.

I don’t want to hurt my …

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5

Falling away

  March 13th, 2019 by EmptyPluto

Falling asleep in the front seat, I didn’t realize anything.

Sigh. I don’t want to do anything today.

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