General

All I wanted was to write this book. I want to help others, but the more I chase it, the more things get in the way or put me down. I share pieces of it for feedback, only to have incoherent disgust thrown at me. I can’t work a job long before I have to quit because I don’t have the energy to work in two places at once. I disappoint my family every second I do this stupid shit, and now all I’m left with is this passion that is slowly dimming out with the impossible odds. I know that without fulfilling that, I’m […]

I am waiting for you.

I’ll always be waiting for you.

Even if it takes years.

Even after I die,

I’ll be waiting underground.

And if there is an after life,  I’ll be waiting you there.

My relationship broke down Halloween 2021. It has been a couple of months now and my state of mind has plummeted. We occasionally write to one another and I am trying to get her back. I know she will be in a park in Manchester end of this month. I am going to confront her and propose to her. Otherwise, I am off to Mexico to spend three months spending all the money I have or I might visit Canada one last time. I was once married to a Canadian woman. Maybe I should find another? In Mexico, I am going to get some medication […]

i never really understood why everyone called me black through out primary, never really hit me till i passed out of 4th only sort of understand what racism what when i was in 5th. ( im 16 male turning 17 in 6 months )

failed most of subjects never liked to do anything got bullied more and the girls in my class basically avoided going anywhere near me because of my black ass face. lost 99% of my self confidence in 5th

continued to fail every subject ( just passing by maybe 10-20 marks ) and getting scolded by dad and mom through out school till today

iv […]

its just been a hellhole, am happy for a week and I get one bad grade and am depressed for the next 3 weeks. If am a be real with you, am tired of this shit and I just wanna end my suffering.

I’m the type of person to kill them self and people’s reactions would be “ he’s seemed happy and perfectly fine, he had plenty of friends and family. There were no warning signs or concerns.” And they never saw it coming.

Cold and lonely

Is the girl from, Manitoba, still here? Why, I do not know, why.

is anyone looking for me here

I’m not really depressed.  I am preparing. I do not have a purpose.    I feel useless.  Anxiety.  I’m single with no children and I have no family.  I have no support structure. I’ve tried reaching out. My friends are too self involved. I have nothing to fall back on. Impending doom and hopelessness. All I want is to work hard and have a modest life and to have purpose but it always slips away from me.  I am high-functioning autism. That’s all. I’m not lovesick or lonely.  I’m stable, selfless and caring. I rarely even get angry.  I’m a decent person and I treat people […]

Hello, lovely people of suicideproject.org. I’m asking a favor from all of you. I’m currently undergoing DBT therapy. I’ve only been doing it for about three months, so I’m in the early stages of recovery. While I’ve learned a few useful skills, I feel as though it’s not enough. My panic attacks and feelings of emptiness are getting worse. I’m still very suicidal nearly every day, and I think dying would (obviously) interfere with my treatment. That’s why I’m considering taking medications.

For context, I’m doing DBT therapy to treat my emotional dysregulation problems. For now I don’t have a specific official diagnosis written in my […]

I found it here, and found some replies which I think are worth sharing: https://9gag.com/gag/aDDxXxx?ref=android

Jakelong81 writes:

“I was in a very dark place few years ago and I was seriously considering to kill myself. It was around the time the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why came out. There is a scene in it when Hannah’s parents find her dead body and it opened my eyes. I imagined my Dad finding my body and I realised I could never put him through that. I’m not […]

It’s like an itch in my mind. Something that refuses to go away. It’s been little more than a week since I have decided to finally give up. To finally stop bothering her and just let her be. To stop torturing myself and hoping that she cares about me. She doesn’t need me. She has friends and other things going on. She doesn’t care. I repeat these things in my head over and over and over again, but it’s still itchy. Lately I just go to sleep if I have nothing to do. Then I […]

And a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. People know this. That’s why they don’t talk to me.

I have autism, but it’s not that bad, or so I thought. I don’t know what it is really.

I have literally no one who cares enough about me to make the time to even talk to me. Even on here, I’m disliked. It’s not like 2014. I can see why the name “spreject” now. I have no real friends or family. I have nothing and no one. And I don’t want to be here. This world is just harsh, brutal, and cruel. If only my mom’s genes didn’t insulate me from suicide, in my father’s genes it’s strong.

i hate how everything can be all happy and fine then within the blink of an eye, the snap of fingers, SMASH!!!! everything goes downhill, everything goes wrong. within seconds things are getting thrown, hit.

im tried of it….. people say its “fine” that they understand its a condition, but one just cant help feeling horrible and down when it happens. you just want to sweep it under the rug and bury your head in the sand hoping to forget that the mess you created exists, the problem you live with exists, that you exists….

i wish i never existed

I hate myself. I ruined my life to the point where I don’t think it’s possible to change how I see myself. I’m so mad at myself for ruining my teeth. I had perfect teeth and after struggling with bullimia, my bottom teeth started chipping and falling out despite having stopped throwing up for about a year. I’m so embarrassed where I start shaking at the thought of having to humiliate myself if I tried to fix it. I think why do that if I kill myself anyways. It’s like my brain knows if I make myself feel worse then the easier it would be […]