General

I don’t have any feelings anymore, except for sadness. I forgot what happiness feels like, what love feels like, even pain. Even though I am smiling, I don’t feel anything.

I am numb.

An empty shell, lost of its emotions.

Waking up in the morning almost seams worse then dying. Knowing that i have to go out and put on a completely fake smile and act all happy for everyone. i have to walk around and pretend like i want to be here. When people look at me they wont even know my thoughts of death, they wont know about the 20 or so cuts on my leg burning with pain. All they will see is some stupid fucked up girl who’s “happy”. If only they could see inside and know how I feel maybe they would say something, but probably not because those who […]

I am just curious, how many people really here have some kind of belief in God. It seems to be something that I am reading more and more, some belief in God …. So I am just curious, if you believe, why?

Hello I’m new here. i found this site a couple of nights ago and felt connected to most people’s posts on here. Basically my story is that I’ve been battling depression and suicidal thoughts for the past three years and am seriously thinking about ending it all. I’ve tried different medications and the ones I’m on now have helped some, but i just don’t feel like life on earth is cut out for me. i don’t enjoy being the person that I am – most of the time I just feel empty and withdrawn from everything, like my body is present, but the ‘I’ is […]

This is just almost too much to take, he moved in yesturday and now there are 3 here. He left 3 hour ago said he was going to work, he’s a pilot, and said he wouldn’t be back tonight.

The door opens and there he is with a chick in flanel pants, he introduces her and go to his room.

The problem is this is an old house, no insulation in the walls and he is banging her like a screen door in a hurricane !

Good for him, yet the way I feel right now I don’t want that shit, nor did I expect it tonight.

I’m not […]

         Why cant they just accept me.

Accept the new me. Accept the real me and my new ways of my life.

Accept my wishes of blood and a silver blade.

i am who i am, Stop trying to change me…….

Plz just accept me already.

Life is a dirty trick. I fall asleep when I’m young Dreaming that there is so much waiting for me in my future and when I wake up I work at a job I don’t like to support a life I hate surrounded by people I can’t stand with no sense of accomplishment to greet me at the end of the day or a sparkle of excitement to wake up to. It is meaningless. When I was young I wanted to be the hero and it all seemed possible and now I do good to not become the enemy. 1000 steps from happiness and 2 […]

I wish there was a button to push and my life was deleted, no mess left behind as with a firearm.

I am powerless over the availabity of the meds I need to delete myself.

Very nervous about when they will be available. I am ready to scream !

Why is it so difficult to make this happen.

I am so scared to continue living, I just want the end.

I wonder why writing this stuff is theraputic in a strange way

Everyday I wake up wishing i didn’t, and every-night i regret my day. i dont have one friend, no one even trust me, everyday im like a ghost. i feel like i could disappear and no one would even notice. i dont make a difference in anything, heck, things would be better without me. everything i do i drag people back in, and all people do is yell at me. i cant get away from all this and i cant take another day of it. But its ok, i can do what i want, no one watches me, no one cares for me, ill leave […]

Every day I wake up I think about how It would have been so much better If I had died in my sleep the day before. I’m terribly lonely and feel like life is a chore. I’ve felt this way for over a decade and I don’t believe anything can make it better. I think about how I would end my life a lot. I wonder why God made me this way or if he honestly cares. I’ve hurt so much for so long that sometimes I just cry in the dark when I’m alone. I diet, pray, act kindly and open but its all […]

why is it that whenever i let someone into my heart they tend to fuck me over and act like nothing ever happend?.. im soo sick and tired of being treated like shit. everyone i love just ends up leaving me im all alone and i hate it, seems like no one cares. everyday i walk around like nothings wrong but the truth is im slowly dying inside i just wanna close my eyes count to three and poof all my worries are gone. (HA i wish it was that easy) ive lost so many friends and family in my life and growing up with […]

what killing me is I’m stuck here, feeling this push and pull on my chest and brain.

seeing everyone around me, down and up, rise and fall.

they seem like they are down with everything, don’t care, but each day they grow higher higher away.

and leave me in the darkest deepest hole.

how do they do it, where do they find it?

the hope and strength to go on

Searching for answers or possibly solutions again on the net. I do this from time to time wondering when it will be my time. Have screwed this life up and effected those around me in a negative way. Can’t forgive my self for that

I don’t know the point of this website.. but I’m feeling extremely helpless and alone at the moment and I googled I’m dying and this is where it brought me.  I think about suicide every hour of every day, I don’t feel good enough to keep going at this point. I can’t talk about anything, my life is so complicated. I don’t feel like writing/typing/telling a novel so no one can help me.
I am in college, and everything was great and I felt like my life was finally on track and then all of a sudden one day I just wanted to die. The […]

I usually just rant on here to relieve the pressure in my brain that depression has me under but I need help now. I’m feeling pretty suicidal after coming to the conclusion that I could walk off a bridge or tall building relatively fear-free. Just a step and it’s over. I was googling flights out to san francisco this afternoon. It’s kinda funny(funny in a sick fucked up way) that the golden gate bridge is the most used suicide spot and yet they still haven’t erected some kind of suicide deterrent(that I know of). I could step off the subway platform one night but I […]