General

it dawned on me just a minute ago that my state f perpetual exhaustion is directly tied to the mask of “sanity” that i wear(who’s to say what sane is?; the majority used to believe the world was flat). Everyday I wake, leave my room, and put on my mask. It’s so tiring, acting like everybody else, trying to feign interest in news stories, new gadgets, new flavors of gum.. new this new that; I find the human experience to be quite trite and wholly uninteresting. The best laugh I’ve had all week was from that video of the kid being run over by the […]

what’s up.?

Hello monitor and that who’s in it. At start, i don’t wanna be heard, i just wanna be said. Maybe would be easier.

All my life i was a very happy person. I had lots of crashes, deaths, family problems, alcoholic father, cancer mother, suicided feyonce and so on. Lots of shits. But i never felt disappointed by life. Each crash helped me to love life more and more. The best thing is that i Always felt how right life should be – doing everything you like, enjoying people and time, reaching some purposes and so on and so on. I was doing it all my […]

I’m done with all of this. Seriously.

ughhh iknew he wuld try 2 mess up me n my gfz relationship..hez tryna mess it up but it wnt wrkin bcuz he a dumbass friend..itrusted him n ithought he waz my friend but wat a lie that waz..icant b hz friend no more hez jzt a player n idnt wana b friendz wit some1 that makez up liez n tryz 2 start shit 4 me n my gf.But our me n my gf ignore watevr he sayz or doez cuz at the end of the day me n her r still happy 🙂

Fuck me. I lost all of the notes on my iphone from the past 3ish months because of the stupid fucking ios5 update. I wrote a lot of things that are extremely important to me. My sister texted me asking for lyrics or poems about my dead friend because she wants to write a play for school. I thought “awesome, I have so much stuff, and I secretely really do want to share it”. But then I go to look and it’s gone and I feel lost. Jesus christ this is terrible. I don’t know what to do. I just feel so god damn stupid. […]

I tried many years ago to commit suicide and obviously it was unsuccessful. Since then, I have lived and experienced more memories. Some good, but mostly bad. In fact, recently they have been some of the worst. Now, as I wake up everyday I wonder why didn’t it work those years ago. Everyday I fantasize about it and feel a deep pain my chest and am unable to breathe. Sometimes I’m eating dinner and I avoid eye contact with my family so they can’t see the tears stream down my face. And I pray everyday that tomorrow doesn’t come. But I know it will. And […]

Hi, I am a twenty something male
I have family friends who don’t want to hang out deal with me at all.

What happens when we push our support away from us due to the constant need or dependence on them? Then what? My Wife told me today she was sick of being my support…

Maybe it’s time to go…

from the time I was 13 till 18 I wanted to die. The desire to kill myself was stronger at other times than at others. I was always lonely and hated myself. But I embraced who I was with all my quirks and eccentricities and decided not to care how others saw me. It did get better. I’m not fully happy and I occasionally do get lonely, but I am better. I like waking up in the morning. Stick around, we haven’t even begun to live yet. It will get better. And you are worth liking, […]

Why why must it be so cold? Why couldnt it be that nice fall weather i enjoy so much of. I am finally alone and now what? I could be hanging myself right now. I want it to be a nice warm day when they find my body hanging from the tree. Not a cold depressing fall when it is about to rain. Mother nature has screw me once again.

Dear Love,

I know I just found you and I am enjoying every single minute. But I just have one favor to ask of you: If you ever seem to doubt our relationship and fall out of love, can you tell me? I’ve been alone my whole life and I know that this may not last for the rest of it, so you’re leaving would not make a huge impact; it would just veer me back to the road I’ve been traveling.

Don’t be surprised if you see me unconscious on the floor, or hanging from the ceiling. That is where I was headed in the first […]

lying there in my coffin at the viewing the only ones there are celebrating my death. about to be put in the crematory to become ashes. a form of a new body i’ll take on. have a nice death. – knuckle-pierce

My parents have canceled Internet here, so I will not be able to talk with you guys anymore. The only thing that made my days a bit happy was watch and read things on internet.

Now I have nothing.
I have no more reason to stay.

I’ll commit suicide soon, so… farewell

Just another day on planet Earth. I’m at work as usual, late this morning because I neglected to turn the ringer on for my alarm. Had to get my “roommate” to drive me to the GO station. He’s been on me recently about using the space heater to get my room toasty so I paid him $100 in utilities this morning. I’m going to use the heater again and he’s still going to give me guff and I’m going to want to move out.

I wish I had more of a backbone but I wasn’t raised that way. I’m paying him for the hydro that I’m […]

Do you need help?
Do you want help?

Because I have two ears to listen, shoulders you can lean on.
I’m not here to judge anyone.
I’m not asking for anything.
I just want you to know that you’re not alone in this.
So if you want to talk,

Email me at ; filamagnus@gmail.com

I just want someone to put an end to this meaninglessness. I am so tired of being nothing more than a waste of space…