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For general topics related to the site.

2

tired of living :(

  May 3rd, 2009 by Maximillionandjazz

I’m 23 years old, and i go to school to become an architect someday. I chose it because, well, drafting and mediocre skills in drawing are the only things that i can do naturally. Other than that i’m a total looser, like for real. When someone close to me once asked why i chose architecture i answered, but just because it was a really close person to me- my step grandfather, so it was a really honest answer, because all my life i couldn’t have anything i wanted: not a bycicle not a toy but only things that were from someone, my family is poor …

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3

Reasons.

  May 2nd, 2009 by MisterRiddler

I canceled my next appointment with my shrink. I feel as if I’ve given up on myself already. I started cutting again and it feels amazing to wake up from such blankness. That apathy, mind over matter. However, the tolerance is already building; fast this time. I’m already running the cuts under hot water for the extra wake up sensation.

What is it about our society that makes us fear and hate death so much? We are brainwashed, conditioned to value life and disapprove of death.

Maybe it’s because we are born selfish and our actions are primarily done in self interest. For example, let’s say I …

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3

How long should one agonize?

  May 1st, 2009 by z

It is rhetorical, even though I put a question mark there.  What kind of life is it agonizing for years and years about suicide?  I constantly pray for the Donnie Darko-out (spoiler-alert: the falling jet-engine through the roof while I lie in bed).  Hunter S. Thompson had some thinkings on the subject.  Best years behind…goodbye.

I am in so much emotional pain I cannot handle it anymore.  Day after day, month after month, year after year.  I am beyond saving.  I cannot save myself; therefore, no one can save me.  The torment is getting ridiculous.  So what?  I was too sensitive about everything and offed myself.  …

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6

Pain’s gotta disappear

  May 1st, 2009 by Aleshya

I may not have as many problems as many people here but I feel a lot of pain. I get stressed. I suspect I have disorders. And that amplifies my pain. As a kid I was a bullied kid. I seriously didn’t do anything wrong, I just acted different, and the kids around me I guess really didn’t like that. Now, I messed up with people again and I was really happy that I made friends but they mostly back stabbed me or let me down. They most of them don’t even realize it, they are so wrapped up in themselves. I’ve become isolated because …

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1

Mental Mishap

  May 1st, 2009 by hauntingyou

Yesterday, I went to school and my girlfriend came home with me. You see, we’re a lesbian couple and we go to an LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning} youth group together every Thursday. Anyway, so we went to group yesterday. Group was alright until the unusual topic of rape and sexual assault came up into conversation. I started to get really, really upset and uncomfortable, so I had to leave. I went outside on the porch. A couple of seconds later Erica, the groups consular/supervisor, came out to talk to me. You see, she didn’t know about my sexual assault/rape and beating …

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7

Lost

  May 1st, 2009 by vardas

I’ve been suicidal for so long that I don’t remember what it felt like to be normal.  The first time I wrote it down, I was nine.  My mother found my journal — the only thing I remember about the conversation is her saying how “embarrassing” it would be if the neighbors found out.  They’d think she was a “bad mother” and why was I such a depressing child anyway; nothing terrible had ever happened to me.  And she was right, I had a perfectly normal childhood, and so I couldn’t explain to her why I felt this way.  I just . . . learned …

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9

ughh

  April 30th, 2009 by helper

ok i know this sounds cheesy but i want a guy, not any guy i want a guy who will like know how i’m feeling because it kills me that i can fake happiness so well, and people either believe me or just don’t care. High school is a horrible place to find a boy friend… especially mine. And all of my friends have boy friends, and well its odd but im friends with them as well. Now don’t get me wrong i in no way want their boy friends, but i see how happy they are, and im just sick of being alone, and sad.

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6

my life isnt so bad so why do i feel like this?

  April 30th, 2009 by accuseddevil

im not a bad person why does nobody treat me with respect, the only thing i ever do is try and help people and i get hurt for it im failing in college and i cant catch up im realy not in the mood for living right now maybe the next lifetime

people dont seem to like me all i get is grief and insults people prejudging me thinking you wont like this its not your thing, how would you know are you inside my head and if you are howcome your not as confused as i am all i wanted was to be a policeman …

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6

my life

  April 30th, 2009 by alexis

im sorry but i really dnt have neone to talk to nemore. since 2001 ive had serious thoughts of suicide. My life really sucks… when i was three my grandfather decided to molest me and then when my elder brother hit puberty he decided to rape and molest me for almost 5 years. i accidentally told the cops and he was arrestted but no one in my family believed me except my mother. everyone else just called me a liar because they didn’t like me as much as they liked him. When i grew into my teenage years my cousins decided to try ‘sstuff’ on …

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7

What am i gonna do?

  April 30th, 2009 by crying inside

I am not sure if I wish to stay alive any longer, once I had freinds, but they are all gone now.

I am never together with someone I am always alone, but there also is another reason for me to die.

I does for some reason want to se what comes after live, what happens, if there is any greater mening with all this! What is the reason that we are here?! WHY ARE WE HERE!

In 4-5 years I have been alone in my class, never any one to talk to, or anything. I am beginning to be tired of it all. I dont see the …

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2

Self-hate

  April 29th, 2009 by hauntingyou

OK, so probably most of you know I’m depressed and suicidal and stuff. But here’s something I haven’t told you yet (I believe). I hate myself. Emotionally and physically. From what I know, someone who hates themselves is called: self-hate. Although, I’m not really sure if that’s the true definition. Anyway, so I hate myself. I think that I’m a horrible person who is just……………selfish, greedy, ugly, and…………………..stupid. I know, if you meet me, you’d say I was the complete opposite from what I think of myself. I, from what I’ve been told, have no self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-concept. I really can’t explain what it’s …

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4

Lost

  April 29th, 2009 by hauntingyou

I have been depressed for almost 2 years now. I told my aunt that I was depressed about 1 year ago. The reason why I’m depressed will take me to long to explain, so if your wondering why, check the post that says: “Wishing, Waiting, Dieing”. Anyway, she took me to see a consular a couple of days after I told her how I felt. At that first meeting I was told that if I wasn’t better within the next month, I would be put on a depression pill. A month goes by, nothing. Another month goes by, nothing. I start to let the pain …

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2

  April 29th, 2009 by JACKIE Brosnan

can anyone help me.   I took an overdose a few months ago and wish I had died.  I keep thinking about killing myself and then give myself more time hoping it will all be ok soon.

My husband got the sack from his job through something really stupid and he wrote a statement admitting it (foolishly) and I can’t get this out of my head that he would still have a job.  I told him not to do it but he wouldn’t listen.  I think about this every day and the only way I can see to rid myself of these thoughts is to kill myself …

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5

my story

  April 28th, 2009 by whhorvat

Throughtout my life I have faced many chalenges. A year ago on this Friday, May 1, I was raped by my best friend. I talked to my mom’s ex-boyfriend about it and he seemed very compassionate and willing to help me with my recent misfortune. I trusted him greatly, so I decided to spend 2 weeks at his house, which is in fact 6 hours away from my house. Needless to say, he raped me more than once in my sleep. Both of these terrible experiences have led me to extreme depression and post traumatic stress disorder. I never thought I would ever become suicidal, …

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4

FML

  April 27th, 2009 by helper

How would you feel if you’ve been depressed for four years, everyone you have cared about dumped you?Then you decided to write it all out, in an autobiography. The someone stole it, read it, and sent it to people in your school? I want to die, even if she’s taking them blame, those were my private, personal thoughts, and i just feel i cannot deal with this kind of stuff anymore… I’m not the most suicidal person but i’m just feeling nothing… numb..

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3

Scary Dreams

  April 27th, 2009 by Kieylee102

Have you ever dreamt that you know someone who tries to kill themselfs. And it’s really scary because you don’t know if it’s going to come true. I woke up this morning with that nightmare and don’t know what to do. I’m afraid that I’m going to get that call or finding that I’m the one making that call. I look around and see that I don’t have much to live for, but I know that there are some that would miss me I think. And that’s all I can think about. I started thinking about it when my chior teacher told us that tomorrow …

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6

The Other Life

  April 27th, 2009 by MisterRiddler

I’ve been seeing a shrink at school. She wants to put me on meds for my depression in addition to therapy. It’s a specialized therapy though. Its to change the way I think and percieve things in order to change my life. Depression is my comfort zone. It’s home; where I hide, where I am at peace with death and myself. I don’t think I’m going to go back to see the shrink. Part of me still wonders though: what would life be like if depression WASNT my home anymore…?

<3MisterRiddler

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1

Why I want to die

  April 27th, 2009 by iamgoingtodie

I want to die because I am a fool. I have nothing called life because I am a fool. Because of my clumsiness no one ever loves me. I have no friends. I dont even think of girlfriends. I have been staying with my uncle and his family since first grade and over the years they have only grown to hate me. Every relatives I know hate me. I have never known what is to be loved, and in all these years I have forgotten to love. When you lose your heart the life is not being worth to live. I have also decided never …

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5

My attempted suicide

  April 26th, 2009 by This too shall pass

In 1998, I decided I no longer wished to live…all because of some man who I loved who did not love me back. I think a part of me wanted to live and just wanted to cry out for help. The reason I say this is because I was on the phone talking with a crisis councelor telling him I was about to kill myself. He asked me where I live and I refused to tell him. I didn’t know he could trace the whereabouts of my call but, I am glad he did. I took this bottle of Klonopin…1 mg a tablet and swallowed …

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9

How much and which drug

  April 26th, 2009 by pat riot

from this website, http://www.medrx-one.com/index.php?p=search would I have to purchase and take to ensure the end of my own life.

Come on you assholes, I know you all want me dead.  Me too.  So let’s make everyone happy, shall we?

‘sides, I ain’t payin’ no taxes to some ignorant spade.  I WOULD rather die.

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