General

I hate my mom. I have this rage when it comes to my mom. She walks into the same room as me and want to leave. The thought of her disgusts me. I have no reason to hate her but she bothers me. I can’t stand her I don’t know why please help.

Howdy my name is phill. Im allway’s thinking about it. Ending it

where am i?

how did i get here?

i think i came by choice..

so why cant i leave by choice?

why do you keep me here;

keep me in my prison.

why do i miss them so much?

why did i ever leave them?

and what about the ones that left me?

the people i left; the people that left me

they equal up to everyone

everyone that matters… mattered

it makes no sense

my life is dazy haze of clutter

step into the clutter; you will find

a thousand needles prick you like knives.

mostly it hurts.

i lied.

it always hurts.

Who is that?

That person staring from the shiny surface

Of every item she’s ever seen

The pretty girl, with short brown hair

Her eyes are huge, so curious

You’d never know she was a mess

Fingers sliding down a mirror

Searching for a bit of pink

But her face is perfect

Leaning across a hollow sink

Not one trace of bitter tears

On her face so ivory pale

You’d think her flawless

The girl everyone wants to be

Gliding gracefully through gleaming halls

She’s radiant, due to confidence

But she’s not happy

She’s not free

Her exterior is false

Her broken pieces almost falling apart

She wants to rip through her skin

Tearing, tearing with nails like claws

Her fragile insides fading to dust

Then maybe she […]

The more you care, and the more you try to be a nice person. The less the world cares about you. A honest person in our world gets nothing but pain and misery. While the liars and selfish get nothing but pleasure. Why is the world we live in like this? Why even try to be a good person when you know that nobody will appricate it in the end. Why the harder you try to make the world a better place for others, does it become worse?

i don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I hate it, I HATE IT, when you’re trying to organize something, and people don’t tell you if they can come or not until the last fucking second.

I know this is kind of a stupid topic for a suicide forum, but hear me out. This is pissing me off for a long long time now.

I’ve been planning on doing this short film on youtube with a few people for like… literally a year now. It’s nothing much, just a 20 minute thing that will take only a day to film. But since I finished the fucking thing in august of last year, I’ve never been […]

I’ve tried once.

Took eleven Ambien.

Am still sort of thinking about it… nobody can tell me what to think, right?

I’m in here.
Can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?

I’m in here,
A prisoner of history.
Can anybody help?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.
I need you to hold all of the sadness I can not…
Live with inside of me

I’m in here.
I’m trying to tell you something.
Can anybody help?

I’m in here.
I’m calling out but you cant hear.
Can anybody help?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.
I need you to […]

I have attempted suicide at least three times in life…mostly when I was going through those rough teen years. But at that time I believe it was a cry for help… I didnt understand why I was so sad all the time. Anyway time passed and now I am 26. I have been off and on anti-depressants and anxiety medicine…in and out of therapy…just a complete circus to fight off my feeling of emptiness and sadness. I must say I have been trying to fight the urges to end it all for a very long time ( 10 years).  But just recently I realize my whole […]

But something is stopping me

ya i know its been awhile…. well i’m no better off than i was the last time i was on here.

The only good thing i haven’t killed myself. I havent been eating or taking my meds. My mom thinks I’m going to go mental. My boyfriend well he isn’t exactly in the loop. I hide it from him. It hurts so much not to tell him that im depressed. Idk what to do? Advice? I dont want to lose him but i dont want him to know that im depressed and that everytime he asks me whats wrong i always put up a front  and […]

when you die what happens? is it jsut blacknesss or is there really a “heaven” and you see the ones that already passed before?? WHAT HAPPENDS?

A gunshot rips through the night,
It looks like he’s lost the fight,
The only thing he ever wondered:
What does it feel like to die?
You’ll find out soon enough, kid

Staring death in the eyes,
Wipe the tears from your face,
Will it help to say goodbye?
I’m sorry for this,
I’m sorry for that,
Will it even matter when it’s over?

Let your voice be heard
Through the blade, the bullet, the pill

Before she makes the cut
She’ll wonder what it feels like
For her life to slip away
Her soul weak and torn,
Can it be reborn?

Those eyes read like a book
Without […]

i ve always bein negative all my life but i dont know how i got so scared of everything i just want it to stop know i feel empty death lonely and i just want it to stopp.. i got no one to tell this to i cant open up to no one i cant do shitt to feel some relief i havent bein out of my room seens forever and i thought that if i didnt go out and i stayed in my room i would have the little of sanity i had left but i feel the same fear than when im in […]

I was in my very first relationship, and things were so divine at first. He adored me, thought I was beautiful, and inspired me to see the good in life, and brought me such happiness. I grew to care about him so much, and became pretty close with his friends. I finally felt as if I belonged somewhere, and it was wonderful.

But then he started to really neglect me, and it really began to hurt me. He rarely contacted me throughout the day, and he hardly made time for me and him. After a while I felt as it I was prodding a dead corpse […]

i’ve been the same for 3 years. but now im determined there is no one in my life my parents can put the blame on, i’ve kept my space with my friends and i’ve been looking content outside. they expect me to graduate next month. but i failed so big. i fell short of their trust. i dont even have the courage or urge to make things right. i just dont belong to any future plans they have for me. i wont tell the hole story to rationalize why i will suicide. i love my parents i never had a bad experience with them they […]