General

I’m much older than the rest of you but I feel the same way….I’ve felt this way as long as I can remember. I’ve always been a loner. Others were happy and I never understood why I never was. I’m on medication for depression….though I have more bay days than good….explains why I’m on here huh? I’ve sat on my bed with a pistol in my mouth and cried many times. The only thing that stopped me was the guilt I knew I would leave behind for my family. Recently I’ve noticed that I slowly cutting myself off from my family and this scares me. […]

My child died and he was only 8. I’m heartbroken and I want despairingly at times to be with him. I tried several times today to hang myself with no success. It has been 7 months and I just am in a sickly marriage with arguements over religion… right now I’m very angry at god and my wife doesn’t get it. Life is a test… she says…. well, this kind of test sucks. I can’t imagine a loving being putting me through this just as a “test”. We argue a lot. I hate it and it makes it all worse. I don’t know what […]

I want to die and get the hell out of here
I hate my little life

Suicidial Memories
Cut
Drip
See
Blood
Knife
Pain
Anger
Depression
Emotion
Help
Me
Save
Me
Hurt
Me
Break
Me
Cut
Self
Fallen
Broken
Hearted
Cut
Up
Little
Angel
I’m
Daddys
Little
Girl
For
A
While
But
Once
You
Turn
Your
Face
There’s
Nothing
But
A
Dead
Body
In
My
Place

“You think you want to die, but you just want to be saved.” Yeah right, and that a load of crap. Nothing to live for, nothing to lose. Saved from yourself, free of the mistake you are and all the mistakes you make.

Life sucks I plan on doing it quick and easy but need something to take away the pain first what’s a good pain killer.

I’m alone in this messed up world. No home No family No where I want to go. They say being independent Is a gift that only few come by. Well they’re wrong I’m hated by my family called stupid everyday. What is there ever to live for?

I am a decently skinny sized girl, weighing 50kg at 169cm. I have been watched by my ‘family’ and some of my pain doctors very carefully because apparently my weight is border line underweight. I am not 100% sure on how this will work or how I will actually end it but one of my main concerns was that my ‘family’ would have to find my body. So my plan is to lose more weight so that they get more concerned and put me into hospital again. Sure I will be monitored fairly well but I can lock myself in the bathroom and do whatever […]

Give me one good reason to live.

Why me? Why is my life the way it is? First of all.. ive been assulted since the age of 5 now im 15, 10 years of assult now im harming myself. I always need a boyfriend too be happy. but i want too be loved at the same time. i always want too feel special. but it rarly happends. my boyfriend of 8 months and i broke up. it hurt me alot. the pain made me want too have visible pain and i started harming myself. i have depression and im on medication. im okay with my life though. im running away from everything […]

Will Japan ever get as bad as the inside of my head?

This chainreaction I can’t stop…

this spiral, one way trip heading for total meltdown

no power to cool the fuel inside

Day by day, a few more braincells smoke away

and so does my logic and rationality

Yet I can’t allow them to contain me

What is to happen, let it be

Im void of sense and purpose

I can be anything yet I am nothing on the inside

Oh, what will it take to prove to myself that i still exist?

Everything is worthless, this poem is worthless

In where I live (which is a successful little Asian country always mistaken to be part of China), it is an offense to kill yourself, or to attempt to kill yourself. If you try to kill yourself and fail, you face legal consequences.

The following opinion is a personal one:

Why? It is both a means of punishment, and a means of prevention. We punish those who try to kill themselves because it is irresponsible to do so – the economy and society suffers and becomes less efficient in the market and in the society. We prevent people from trying to kill themselves since they would incur […]

I can’t do this anymore. I want to tell someone what he’s doing to me, what he’s been doing to me for months, but I can’t. So I just let it go, keep it all inside, Except for on here, because here, no one can tell me It doesnt matter.

“Hello?” I found it odd that my phone had rung, at first I thought I had set a timer of some sort, because no one ever calls me.

“Hi Violet, want to hang out?”

I almost about dropped the phone, because I didn’t want to ever hear his voice again. It was bad enough I had to see […]

Just some of my poetry

I’ve been trying to type something out but I’m tired and just can’t pull it together so I figure the least I can do is say I made it through another day.

Thanks, you folks seem like good people.

I like your smile,
I like your vibe,
I like your style,
But that’s not why I love you.
You’re so beautiful,
But that’s not why I love you.
I’m not sure you know
That the reason I love you, is you,
Being you, just you.
Yeah the reason I love you,
Is all that we’ve been through,
And that’s why I love you.

Back when I was suicidal (roughly 3 months ago) I was getting ready to end my life, I had a list of things that I needed, it comprised
of a will, good bye letters to people who cared, funeral arrangements, transfer of financial assets, clean cloths, the suicide and kit and finally the track list. The thing is, I found that having the right music helps you clear your mind and lets to make your decision easier and if you made the decision allows you to stick to it. Mine was this :
Kleerup ft. Lykke Li – Until We Bleed

This […]