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My head is ringing with the voices of everyone I know calling my name. Screaming at me and hating me. It hurts a lot.
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I don’t even know where to start..I hate talking about my problems, I hate having to explain things when ppl won’t even understand me or what I’m saying..it’s annoying!!! So I’m a good prison, the sweetest thing ever, yet all this crap happens to me. I’ve dealt with depression since I was about 11 or 12 started cutting at 14..the bf I had when I was 19 helped me to stop, I love him so much bit he broke up with me after 2 months for his own personal reasons..anyway I didn’t start cutting again, I kept my promise but then alcohol came along and […]
Today I found out the person I’ve gave everything to is still sleeping with his ex! I admit, I’m not in a relationship with him but when he constantly tells me he’s in love with me knowing full well I would go to anything for this guy it’s not nice to find out that he’s still sleeping with yourself and his ex? Not to mention he took my virginity after I told him how much I do love him, I know what you’re thinking “she’s young, she don’t know what love is” I do when that one person has had everything from me and made […]
An infection of the human mind
Slowly taking over
Painting your life in grey
Apathetic and idle is your new name
Terror is your closest friend
A spiral set in motion
one-way trip
Terminal illness of the mind progressing
Hollowing you out on the inside
No reason or logic found
As it consumes your heart
No lies or truth in your words
Try to find the beauty in pain
Cause it’s the only thing you will know
A mystery illness of the mind unexplained
Welcome to this other world
Alien by all means
Avolition by lack of contrast
Equality cynically redefined
order yet disorder
dreaming of corridors
with technological structures
that resemble your fears
time runs yet freezes
what exists and what doesn’t?
is there a difference?
This head will simply […]
I was caught shoplifting yesterday and i just turned 18. I’ve been accepted to a lot of colleges and i have a lot of things coming up this summer and graduation. But i just threw all of this away by making a stupid fucking decision. My mom went through hell when i was 16 to get a shoplifting case off my record so i could get into college. Now i just threw it all away, I have to tell her, but i cant. She will be heartbroken when she finds out and i cant do this. I cant sleep i cant eat all i can […]
Opinions please.
Do you think one can do it while heavily intoxicated on alcohol leading to relatively quick death?
.
It doesn’t make ANY sense to keep on living after this so-called “life” took away my best years…
When I was 18, I should be graduating… Going to college… Dating someone worthy, and building a sweet future.
Instead, eversince grade 10 I started having too much difficulty in understanding what was on the text of the work I had to complete.
Contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t doing any drugs back then, it simply wasn’t happening for me. The only time I ever had a contact with
something of the kind, was 2 months before I’d end my high-school carrer (I smoked a simple […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuVuMslQWGs
Powerful.
Just want to share.
Watch it ’till ending,
and get enlightened
for the power of your choices and Life
…before ending it all.
I’ve figured it out
this awful feeling
the nervous energy
the anxious panic
the relentless restlessness
the pressure crushing
it’s dread
dread pouring down on me
overpowering and drenching
dread at realizing
that this is all more than me
I was doomed from the begining
it’s more than a little wanting
more like an endless needing
an intuitive urging
a powerful yearning
or an aching longing
and all the reasons
so many reasons
but they all mean nothing
just a way of coping
or understanding
but its more than my choosing
my unavoidable ending
Death has been calling
my soul’s finally answering
and this feeling
it’s beyond all controlling
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs
“History, though, shows us that the people who end […]
i am 24 year i took medication 6 or 7 medication of blood pressuer .. nothing happens to me yet , but it has got worst now from the last year it has got very worst…situation at my place .. dont have a job and i cannot find a job….. and also if i have a job nothing will end the constant fight …because after 8 or 10 hours there is night i dont pick my friend phone,,, dont talk with anyone .. hate going out also .. and if i go out my mind keep wondering at home…. in my family i feel only […]
Can I ask if your leaving a note or not? And your reasons why? I’ve been agonising over this for weeks but what ever I write down comes across as if I’m blaming them. I know if I don’t leave a note i’ll be leaving a lot of unanswered questions but I just feel if I do leave a note it will open a whole new set of questions.
I’m curious to know what everyone believes. Being raised catholic, I was born to believe in a hell and heaven. For the past couple of years, I’ve lost my faith completely. I believe I’m more of an agnostic Or athiest now. I mean with all the wrong and painful things happening in my life, it makes me question why would a God let his people suffer? Yes lifes not fair but looking at the world and the people living in it makes me think what kind of god would let his people live like this? So therefore, I’ve completely lost faith. I hate to say […]
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter […]
My teacher reported me to the guidance counceler and during 7th period she asked me if we could talk.I was like fuck cuz she called my social studies teacher (class i was in at that time)and it was on the 1st floor and the guidance councelers office is in the 4th floor UUUUUGH!!!!! so yea the whole way there im givin myself a pep talk im saying to myself you can do this ana all you gotta do is lie.So i got to her office and she explains how everything i say will stay in this room unless i think your in any danger so […]
so not sure but I have been contemplating for years, since my first atempt, now I am married, but saved some sleeping pills as well as some blood pressure medication, taken together won’t that kill me? I hope so because I just can’t go on anymore.
I haven’t set a date fully yet, probably sometime in September. I’m going to fly to the Netherlands, spend my last night in the red light district and then die via the helium method. After all my research this seems the most effective method that is widely available. I wish my family could understand why I’m doing this…
Feels less liberating than I thought it would but oh well.
I fucking hate everything! I hate not having a family. I hate not having friends. I hate not having money. I hate not being in school. I hate being sick. I hate being in pain.
Everything is a chore. I sleep over half the day. I can barely force myself to get off this couch. I’ve lost my appetite. I’ve lost all self-respect. I look like shit because I don’t see any point in taking care of myself.
If I died, the only way I’d be discovered is from my neighbors noticing the smell. They probably don’t even know I live in here.
I am 25 years old. My father passed away a few years ago from prostate cancer. My mother has chronic, severe schizophrenia, paranoid type, and the caregiver burden has taken its toll after all these years, as I am the only other family member around. I have exhausted all resources, and she is still at home deteriorating and degenerating. Her relapses have become more acute, severe, and frequent, yet the hospitals simply medicate her in the short-term and abruptly discharge her, only for her to start acting up again (such as destroying the house) in a few weeks. She has been calm […]