General

Please email me at:  random-random1995@hotmail.com

I know this sounds kind of desperate but i can’t talk to my friends about this kind of thing because they will think i’m a nutcase and my family know and don’t care.

So if anyone wants to talk about anything, please email away 🙂

I just dont know anymore….. I am 29 years old and  10 years ago I thought I had my entire life mapped out. I started getting into debt, I met my husband who was illegal at the time, my family has disowned me because of him and I live in a tiny basment paying out of my ass for a place that looks and feels like a dungeon. My husband verbally abuses me, he has no job, I was layed off about a year ago but finally found a job that doesnt pay me crap. My husband says hes looking for a job but hasnt […]

Well this is my second posting, it’s been awhile, but as the title says I’m still here. If you want to know my while story read my first post titled “If I only knew then what I know now”. In summary i turned 40 yrs old not too long ago and suffer from social anxiety disorder. It’s not as severe as many others may have, I am able to function in society, but can’t make any real connections. In truth I’ve been alone my whole life. Even surrounded by family who I love and who love me I am […]

The side of a belt is the only kiss I’ll get,
And the stings all the love ive known.
The only hugs are that of your hands on my throat,
 the marks you loved to leave werent supposed to be shown.
They were
“our little secret”
All these things are all that is known to me
Never told love wasn’t just for others to see.

9 years ago I was at the top of my game. Then my best friend died and everything started to unravel. In recent months,  I have been abandoned by my therapist (following a session where I confessed I was contemplating suicide again, no less), my family, my partner, and the majority of my friends. I came across the perfect location on a walk to the beach a couple of weeks ago — a cliff overlooking the ocean – beautiful and frightfully high. So, rather than wasting my time sending out resumes, I plan to spend the coming weeks destroying all of my artwork, unloading all […]

I just don’t know what to do anymore. No matter what I try to do, either my social fears or my own lack of confidence conspires to ruin my plans. I can’t drive, I get paranoid of crashes. I can’t get a job, no one will hire me due to my lack of work history and my nervousness during the interview (on the rare circumstance that I get one). No matter what I try to do, it always seems to fail in the end.

Maybe that old quote I read is right, perhaps my only purpose is to serve as a warning […]

Just to give each other comfort that we are really not far from each other, where are you now?

I am in Luxembourg

He sat there crying because he couldn’t help me. I couldn’t even comfort him wl enough. I really am useless and pathetic. I might as well just go get it done now. Why wait any longer? I was already rejected by te school I pinned so much on. Already a dissapointment.

Tonight is the night. My last day on this earth. Thank you for all of your help. I have nothing else to really say.
Goodbye Cruel World.
Thanks for reading, bye.

One day at a time, just hang in there, sorry I don’t have any words of wisdom, its just that you stuck up for me, like a week ago. Thanks.

My life was finally looking up. With my pain being under control and my eating going back to normal everything was starting to look good. I had my future planned out and school was going great. I was having the best time with my friends and I couldn’t love my new family more. I sorted out how confused I was and realised how much I liked him and he liked me. And I finally got my best friend back.
But all in one day everything turns around.
Now I don’t see the point of anything. I don’t want to be here and I […]

I don’t even know what day it is anymore. I’m up all night and sleep all day. This is the week I’d planned on doing it.

In 6 days I am going to London with my father. In 14 days I’ll be dead. Going to London before i die is the only thing I’ve ever wanted.

I’ve always known that I’d end my life at the age of 17 at first i wasn’t sure, maybe I could hang on a bit longer. But now I am going to London and cant see why i should wait any longer. I know that my parents know that the end for me is near and i hope they will find peace after my death, that’s all i wish for them to have. Without me there will be no pain and no worries. I […]

I was ready to jump had everything ready, 3 months ago!!! and then I came here, people here and not my real life firends nursed me back to life and I found someone so preciouse to me here!

Spent the day cleaning the house… I want to make sure things are in order…

Made some brownies and took them to brother for his birthday… he still lives with my parents at age 40…

it is amazing that my family is so blind to how their treatment of me hurts me…. they have no clue how much they are hurting me… they have no idea how bad i am hurting on the inside… no one does… i put the plastic face on each day…. people have noticed that i am grumpy… but they just think i am under a lot of stress at work…. I am […]

I’m such a failure. Today I tried to kill myself. I tried to drown myself, had a panic attack and sat in the corner for 4 hours holding a razor to my wrist. I can’t even kill myself properly. How the fuck am I supposed to survive on my own if I can’t even do that.

I’m 14 and as said on my profile I am suicidal. I’ve been depressed for years and now its beyond bad. My my dad cheated on my mom and is asking for a divorce. I love my dad but I feel like he doesn’t care about me. Every time I talk to him he makes me cry. I also told some people about my problem but they all say that I need to go to the hospital. I sick of living the only reason I haven’t killed my self yet is because I’m scared to and I promised a friend I wouldn’t hurt myself.