General

I used to write… a long, long time ago. In school I took Honors and
Advanced Placement classes. Now it’s like all the thoughts and feelings are scrambled together. Can’t think straight, let alone put it into words for someone else. So, so tired. Now all I want to do is sleep, sleep forever. I just want to forget that I ever was.

Hello. My name is Chris, im from Poland. Soon i’ll turn 20. I have a lot of problems and im alone. My mother and grandfather died when i was 7. I didn’t even know my father. My grandmother is very sick, so she needs help from me and besauce nature of her disease is very painful, she oftem screams, even in the middle of the night. But dont think she’s just old poor woman, shes a devil. She lies like she’s trying to beat a record she cheats me on regular basis. I tried commit suicide first time after my uncle came, together with him […]

i want to go back to the times when i was younger when , my parents would lie just for me not to know the sad and bad things in the world. those days when my parents would ask me if i was happy and i could answer truthfully with a ‘yes’. when my parents would hide the bad things the world from me. the days when they wouldn’t fight.

While i may be only 20 i know enough and see enough to bring me to ending my existence. I have found no hope in humanity as shown to me by my so called friends. I live 30 minutes away from all of them so it’s a little drive but i don’t mind. I’m left out of all activities with them. No phone calls, texts, emails, facebook messages, nothing. The only time i see them are at concerts and local band practices and even then i’m left out and treated as if i don’t exist. I do many things for them and get exactly shit […]

why oh why……. life is miserable.
i have always been a fat fuck since young.
i began the victim of bullying in school, and all i knew was to cry everyday.
i have no one to speak to because i would only get the same response of “you are who you are, you can’t blame the rest for laughing at you”.
but i couldn’t lose weight.
things got a bit better when i move up to secondary school.
still, life wasnt any better because the criticisms just got nastier as the proficiency of language moves up to a higher level in the people around you.

I just want to take tablets and fall asleep for good,  I need to know the best tablets to take so its quick and painless.

well this has been going on for somewhile and ive tried to stop but whats the point? it just doesnt work for some people, like me. im just looking for a way out as you could say ive been planning things for when i got out of school and im sure that my plan wil come through. ever since i was 12 maybe 13 i started to cut, at first it was shallow cuts but then i started to do them deeper and since then ive been cutting noone has found out except my best friend and my other friend, ive known my best friend […]

I just want to be happy. I’m always so depressed. I think about suicide every fuckin day. I have written a suicide letter. I feel so pathetic.

I’ve heard told that everyone makes mistakes. People’ve cheated on boyfriends and girlfriends. People’ve yelled at customers and lost their jobs. People’ve texted while driving and totaled their cars. But can being born be a mistake? I’m not like most people; I can’t just be content. I can’t settle with just anybody. I can’t just pursue any career. I can’t just look like everyone else. I strive to be different. Yet, the world doesn’t accept my kind. Maybe if I was a skinny Christian bimbo that believed everything they were told and was satisfied with the “norm” way of living- you know, getting married, having […]

I need some advice. I am a 17 year old girl attending high school. My life should be amazing, I have been ranked top in my class for the last 5 years, have won numerous awards, play for several sports teams, tutor, part of student government etc etc. But it’s not.

Everyone thinks my life is perfect, but I am dying inside and I don’t know where to turn to. You see, when I was 12, I was looking for my camera in my mom’s room when I came across a box. Of course, being curious, I opened it and found much more than I could […]

Who am I? According to my faith I’m a child of God. A tired child at 53. A youthful 53. I was bodybuilding as a hobby for 20 years. Quit training 3 weeks ago. I’ve realized after all the years of depression, that I have a mental condition. I’ve been to the hospital, the psychiatrist, the church, and meds for the first time last year. I just can’t seem to quiet the thoughts. I’m not good enough, I’ll never be good enough, I’m a failure, and I just don’t belong here on earth. I have no criminal record. I’m just a guy that has tried […]

I’ve been considering suicide for quite some time. For several months I even had a handgun. I actually had a license to carry it. I’ve been under psychiatric care for some time but have never been institutionalized, so I was eligible. However, I told my psychiatrist about the gun. I’m not sure if that was wise. Although he urged me to get rid of it, he didn’t press the issue since he said he didn’t believe in his heart I was suicidal and I’d never actually loaded the gun. He was right. I just had the gun as a coping strategy at that point; I […]

I thought I’d share my story with those people online and perhaps find someone to relate to. As of now, I’m 17. I’m planning on ending life within the next 3weeks (I’m getting together some money to leave my parents – untill then I need to hold it out).

My story begins when I was younger of course. I was always a shy child, and I’ve always had a fear of too many people in one area – I’ve got an anxiety disorder. My home life was… bareable, at best. My father was an asshole to say the least. I’d like to note that when he […]

i’m in high school. the typical high school girl, lots of friends (can’t trust any of them). me and my friends are in the stage of going to sweet 16 parties…you know…those princess brats who wear the big dress and have the stupid father daughter dance and do their pointless candle ceremony – christ, those parties are ridiculously stupid. but, this isnt what my story is about. its about trying to have a good time…ironic right? me and a few girlfriends get ready for these stupid partys together, but for one of them, we dicided to drink vodka before hand; just to show up trashed. […]

Why do i feel like this??? : (

I started laughing really loud on the way home from school today, I was happy because my shadow reminded me of Tenma! He wears a trench coat that wooshes out, and when the wind picked up I looked like that in my shadow. xD Some guy got mad though, he was walking behind me when it happened.

Other than that, I lost the only person I talk to about..well, anything. Looks like it’s back to being all alone and shiz.

After a particularly bad week, where I was acutely suicidal, I finally yesterday got my shit together a bit. I was just gonna try to soldier on.

But I got a disturbing email. My ex, whom I had frightened when I had a nervous breakdown last month and became suicidal, is apparently posting articles and things online about restraining order and the like.

I ended up in jail for  a few days after my breakdown, because she filed a police report. But I had been under the impression, based on what other people have told me, that she did not intend for me to go to jail and was […]

I can’t do anything in my life that I want to. I just don’t aee it going anywhere worthwhile. I tried to follow my passions but apparently I can’t do that, so what point is there in lfe if you have nothing to live for?

I’ve tried to go to my school’s counseling center but it takes a month to get an appointment and I need help NOW.

I have no one to talk to  about it. My boyfriend claims he cares but I know he’s too busy with his own little world and the girl that has a crush on him. I think he allows it […]