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todays gonna be a good day. listening to the Bears v Packers game on R5SX. (can’t watch it in scotland) with my bowl of Lucky charms! which I havn’t had since I was THREE D:
and hopefully I’ll be talking to my friend jake (: he always seems to cheer me up.
advice to all of you. suck up the good moments like a spounge to water.
the taste…the feeling…the escape. hiding away in my prison you call a room. i hide away empty bottles you know nothing about. while you sleep i drown myself in the sweet taste of liquor. the beautiful scent thats not to be found anywhere else. the beautiful taste that only comes from the first sip. the companionship that it gives that its not felt anywhere else. the great feeling it gives that one can only dream off. a disease they call it. well it’s a disease i’ll gladly die from. and die i shall.
i’ve always hated myself. i just never really wanted to believe it. i always felt that things would get better. that shit was only temporary. but shit has stayed the same. why am i so afraid of life? why can’t i be social? why is every body pushing me away from them? everything hurts me. my mind makes things worse than needs to be. i try not to let it but it takes over. i have no place in this fucking world. HELLO!!! somebody please notice me. notice the pain and the hurt, which i hide so well. I’m afraid to live. But I’m afraid […]
i dont know why, but the thought of suicide has been haunting me for the past few weeks. every time i come to face an issue, the easiest solution seems to be just ending my life alltogether. i don’t want to, not at all, so it is really freaking me out that suicide has crept its way into my mind and refuses to leave. i’m beginning to wonder if there is anything i’d really miss leaving behind. once you’re gone, you’re gone. you feel no regret or remorse towards your life. it’s just gone, empty. but i know this is not what i want. “you […]
of your guy’s posts,
about over 100 the past hour.
So let me tell you one outcome :
I have to go pee really bad.
More than anything in this world I want to change who I am. I try everything I have in the effort I have accessible. The gym twice a day, the weekly psychiatric appointments, the medications as prescribed, it’s doesn’t fix a thing. Despite my efforts I’m left with simple advice; “everything happens for a reason.” Tell me what the reason is in a constantly suicidal young adult with no aspirations to make anything out of the future. I have aspirations, I have ideals that I believe to be real yet I have a giant void between where I am and […]
The world is an empty abyss. My soul is simply roaming through it, without a purpose. I am a lonely, terrible soul, wandering through this horrific place.
As I lay in my bed, I gaze up at the ceiling, just thinking. Sleep seems to be my only escape from this world…if only I could sleep forever.
Two “poems” that I’ve had as my Facebook status.
My sister got into a fight I don’t want to go in depth about it though,
she cut me with her nails.
Shes older,
I’m younger,
I’m bigger,
shes smaller.
I’m stupider,
Shes smarter,
I’m more painful.
Also more in pain.
like right now her nails made my hand bleed yet i still type lol 😛
WHY WOULD I CUT MYSELF?!
I have problems. Like most people.
I hate my parents. They treat me like utter crap.
I’m Asian, so that must count for why they are abusive. Just kidding, sorta.
I have major mood swings.
My friends don’t understand my pain. They don’t know that I’m rather suicidal.
I’m WAY to scared to attempt anything though. Yeah, I’m a wimp.
I’m a pretty good actor. My friends always see me as a super happy girl, not what I really am.
I’m overly-sensitive, so I cry easily. Over EVERYTHING.
I must be annoying you now from my silly ranting.
i can fly
I like to read everyone’s posts.
Well, to put it simply I’m not very bright or intelligent.
I have a brain of a 5 year old… Haha.
Anyways,
everyone has their very own post that to me seems very intellectual.
I like to copy & paste it, then change some words, add some.
To my very own problem.
It makes me feel a WHOLE LOT better.
Its like a sentence starter.
I can’t always post sadly,
I have school, chores, homework.
I guess this keeps me away from thinking/having drama.
Right now my ears/brain hurt from listening to music lol.
well here it goes. I’m 21 yrs old and from Tennessee. love my family and friends. was engaged to be married this last year. well he left me on valentines day. he had made my life a living hell while we were together. after he left me i just had no desire to live even though things had been bad with him. he had cheated on me and got another girl pregnant then gave her the ring he bought me. sitting alone one day i just couldn’t stop thinking about they way things happened. walked to the kitchen and picked up the biggest […]
September 18th, 2013….
how many time do I have to say it, before you’ll belive it to be true. how many times?
I’ll say it as many times as it takes.
Ive officially lost my marbles ive been blanking out more then usual sometimes i do stupid things when i blank out.For example,yesterday in school we were eatin lunch my friends A and P got up to go somewhere and my friend Y comes out sayin that i purposley tried to trip them she said i stuck my foot out and everything and keep in mind i have no reccolection of this what so ever.I did something BAD last night Y and P already knew about me getting molested.I kinda texted them both and again keep in mind i have been molested this is exactly what i texted […]
As it turns out, my life started as crap.
I was born an intersexed female and my true identity and life was hidden from me for almost 30 years, so the first 30 years, I was forced to live a lie.
I’ve been ignored, ostracised, and treated like a freak.
No one really wants me, and the woman I was to marry, herself, ended her life before I could help her.
The other woman I was in a relationship for six year with left me. ANd left me with a lot of unpaid bills.
I have an incurable nerve disorder and any and all attempts to support myself have ended […]
I’m starting to become a regular here :3 I’d like to meet some friends, to finally have someone who knows, to talk to.
anyway. I’ll be going to the city in about…3 hours. this is gonna be hard. (I’m agoraphobic by the way)
Havn’t been out in around a month and a half. and before that, I was out before the winter! I should try though, look at the brighter side of the outside world. hey, I’ll be able to see that cute guy at the shake bar. haha! I’m one for peircings and longer hair ;D -cat whistle-
rightio, I’m off the take a shower.
p.s this […]
First off let me start off by appolozing for my horrible grammar and spelling errors…this id rather hard for me to write but I push out the words as I best can…
My life hasn’t been the worst but in my very short life I’ve been through a lot, after steping away from drugs and liqour ..self harm and other self distructive ways I’ve dealt with life…I attempt so despratly to look at the positive side of life…. I always seam to run out of things to be greatfull for… I try to keep the faithand hope that things will get better but I don’t […]
It all started when I was 17 I started doing drugs and drinking, slowly over the next four years. I have repeatedly fucked up my life though numereous people have tried to help me. For Awhile everything was fine but I have pushed my family away to the point that they disown me. Everytime I get a girl in my life I fall helplessly head over heels an throw my life further down the drain. Doing anything I can to make the woman happy but in the process I neglect everything an everyone else. Just to have the woman leave me in the end.
In September […]
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