General

Apparently with the job market the way it is I can’t get the start I need to get to move forward. Entry Level Helpdesk or Support jobs are just not there right now. Did some courses here and there but need more experience, and the only way to get experience is to get a job, but the only way to get the job is to have the experience. Commence loop.

Don’t have enough money to get the certs I want or a degree because current job doesn’t pay enough. Sick of the current job to the point where I may just quit without a job lined […]

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~1min

Glad someone out there is finally talking about this shit.

If affirmations worked, MILLIONS of ppl suffering from depression and shit lives wouldn’t still be suffering from depression and shit lives. And if you disagreed with affirmations, you were labeled as “negative” and “not even trying,” as if the solution is there ALL along and you just won’t listen to it, bc we just WANT to stay depressed. Anyone dissenting on the status-quo or established dogma is always treated like shit, like we’re crazy, like we’re just not trying, or we just don’t want to get better. -_-

I’m sure affirmations work for […]

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??? ?????????? ?????? ? ??????? ldelwol

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Been putting off posting again. I do that a lot. I have a lot on my mind, but just never find the time to put write them down. Quit my deli job. Hated that fucking job. So god damn much. I was falling behind on school and so I put in my one week notice on Tuesday. My last day was slow. Practically dead. I think I used the slicer less than 5 times. The only thing was I had to train a new guy on how to close plus pick up the slack for […]

If you can tolerate Gilbert Gottfried singing a song

(and here’s me realizing I’m old again, apparently young folks today don’t know who Gilbert Gottfried is…. which I find rude, do I go around saying that I don’t know who Pete Davidson is? No, he’s an ex SNL guy who is friends with John Mulaney, because I keep up with culture)

he was a comedian known for a particularly unpleasant voice….. but damn if he doesn’t nail it in this song. I never thought I’d find something to like about this movie, a movie I swear the rest of the world forgot about

and comparing myself to this […]

Wouldn’t it be nice to be one of those ppl who’s happy with a life of mediocrity? Some ppl are just fine working 9-5 in a mediocre job, making ok money, not having a deep purpose or meaningful impact on society, not achieving greatness, doesn’t care about finding the perfect partner but is happy with someone who’s just “good enough.” You know those ppl- those who are just happy with “ok.” Or happy enough with “ok.” People who don’t think too much. People who don’t question much, but just accept life for what it is.

Meanwhile, if you are one of […]

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????????? ????????? ????????????? – ??? ?????? ????????? ?????? ??? ????????? ??????? ????????. ????? 1Xbet ??????? ?? ???????: ??????????? ??? ????????? ?? ??????????? ? ?????????????? ? ?????????????? ??????, ????? ??? Bitcoin, Ethereum ? ??????, ? ????????? ??????? ?? ?? ????? ? ???? ??? ??????????. ???? ????? ????? ???????????? ???????????? ????? ???????? ??? ??????? ? ?????????.

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I know so many people who see me, talk to me, they think I express myself well, and I’m incredibly insightful….. and I’m…. THAT is the coping mechinism. I don’t belong, I’ve been an outsider for the longest time. Sometimes it’s a badge I wear with pride, but it’s also a source of shame. I tried to fit, I put immense work into trying.

and what scares me, as much as I allow myself to be scared by anything, is that I don’t want to try anymore.

because I’m a trauma survivor, my shields against the few things that really scare me are high. and in so […]

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hm, Google showed me this a few videos after the George Carlin “Life is Worth Losing” clip. I’m sure it’s 100% coincidental, but it’s interesting this showed up on my feed…

~20s clip

Good ol’ George Carlin. He was WAY ahead of his time. Knew about The Agenda decades before any of us even had any inkling. If only he was alive today…

I suffer cognitive dissonance and pure O, so my decisions are hardly ever up to me and my body and mind don’t even belong to me anymore, so if I lose my cool at my house one more time, it’s gonna be out of my control and I’m gonna go homeless because of it. I feel like I’m fucking cursed, and shit never goes my way, and if anything is ever to go wrong, it’s gonna go wrong towards me and not anyone else. It’s also to the point where I don’t wanna do anything at all anymore and I’d just rather lie in bed […]

I like many things about tbis site, chirf amongst them being SP is whete thete os no story/problem that dare not speak iits name.

They say forget about the past. Get over it, they say.

But the past doesn’t forget you. It catches up to remind you – right at the moment when you start getting ideas or getting ahead of yourself- who you really were = are.

Forget about it! BS. I know it for a fact that I will carry the baggage from my past straight into my shallow grave. There’s no getting over it. Only hope there’s no hell or afterlife or karma-based reincarnation, otherwise I’m getting my ass handed back to me on a frying pan for all eternity.

What I’d prefer to end up as-

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I feel like nobody and I’m done with therapy because my idiot therapist can’t help me and he just tried to guilt trip me on how he thought it was wrong that I tried to KMS in the past and he tries to tell me with stigmatizing language that I’m wrong for trying to escape the pain in the past, but yet tries to justify everyone else for pushing me to that point and making me feel this way just because they’re in authority! I feel like I’m a fucking slave to this pain and I’m obligated to stay in this earth with this mental […]

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