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I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

Making a progress – 1

by Urm8451n
written by Urm8451n

Hey,

Last 6 month were extremely stressful for my own experience, and a lot of fears or other worries of mine, have re-appeared.

I have started playing idiotic games on the computer in purpose of escaping reality. I have ditched my studies and fell down in the final exams.

 

In my own perspective the last experience was harsh enough to deduct my self esteem and many other aspects.  Now I have to deal with the consequences and find solutions.

 

So what is my plan?

Well first – slowly accept the idea of harsh reality, and tough problems.

While doing the first step, I am also coping with my urges of “running […]

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March 15, 2019—The Day I’m Supposed To Die

by TheSadAngel
written by TheSadAngel

The night before March 15, I was so down to the point that negative thoughts have devoured me. It was painful, to be torn by two sides of which to choose. A part of me—the wounded one—have whispered me to go to the kitchen, took out a knife, and just end it all! The other one was crying, begging for me to stop. In the middle of the night, a potpourri of emotions swirled within me that I was left in a deep turmoil. Maybe that’s why I went to the kitchen and stood in front of the counter where the knives were hidden. I […]

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Showing up for a night

by Urm8451n
written by Urm8451n

I just wanted to write something.

Let off my thoughts.   I grew up without  a father and had to learn my place as a male in society.  It took me a lot of failures to get anywhere beyond my starting point.

I guess it was easier for me to say I don’t belong, or to let go whenever I didn’t solve my problems

with the time passing, I’ve learned to accept more and more responsibility for my actions and, much more, for my dealing with struggles.

I had few traumatic events along my life, that left me to feel alone, and perhaps alienated from other social beings.

I had […]

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Exhausted

by Dreary-elf
written by Dreary-elf

Today was my birthday…

I honestly wanted to cry the whole time I was with my dad because yet again, he forgot about my birthday.

I do so much for him and I just feel like he doesn’t appreciate the things I do for him… It’s been hard for both of us because we aren’t close as we used to.

I shouldn’t feel down because I had friends and other family members sticking around saying ‘happy birthday’

I’m just glad I made it into another year… I just need to keep pushing myself and not give up like last time

Also, I wanna thank the person I adore…

Thank you for being there and […]

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Is it wrong

by Jojogram
written by Jojogram

Is it wrong for me to think that people should commit suicide ..? I’m most definitely not for it as I have seen the difference it can make in a life. But … Have you ever put yourself in someone else’s shoes and just thought “Damn … It would be so much easier … Plus I’m not afraid of death… People should be more welcoming of it rather than afraid … But then again they have lived all their lives living it … So something different might nno be as good”

Idk … I’m just drinking here, laying down wirhaw life full of unaccomplished achievements right […]

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A single moment knows no limits

by WickedApparition
written by WickedApparition

Once upon a time…
I had lived experiences.
I had a story in which I wanted to tell.
I had a message that I wished to share.
I had created a posting about that experience here, on this very site, some time ago.

… then, one day… 
I had chosen to remove myself (via the form of time/energy) and my postings from this service.
I had stated In my ‘final’ message post (which still lives somewhere within the dust-laden stacks of this site): “I came to share a story and ended up staying a few days longer than expected. I am proud to have encountered each […]

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it’s been a bumpy ride

by One Million Masks
written by One Million Masks

it sure has been a minute since i’ve been on this site, haha. i don’t think i’ll even know anyone anymore, but i’ve sort of made an agreement with myself not to look. hey to anyone still around.

but uh. anyways.
this is just…. for anyone who might happen to read this.
i was pretty young when i first came on here— i think i was like, 13 or 14, something like that. things were not good. things had never really been good. literally nothing in the world sounded better to me than nothing, forever; just curtains was as much as i could let myself hope […]

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2019…..here we are

by mo992
written by mo992

I’ve tried to avoid posting for a while now. I’ve been dealing with quite a lot, mentally and physically. I felt that posting would make me feel even worse and paranoid. But here I am again.

2018 was quite slow. There were good things and a lot of painful experiences but I must admit that I wouldn’t have made it without my friends and community. The support they have given me is immense and I can in no way give back enough love to them. For a while I felt guilty, I still do. This feeling comes from the fact that even with all this love, […]

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by Mac-10toSchool
written by Mac-10toSchool

She’s a drop of water

that doesnt believe in oceans or riversides;

A chameleon wearing a mask to distract

from the self she’s suppressing inside,

So eclipsed, so insistent on hiding the sun behind the shadows

It’s dark because the fire’s died-out.

She’s imprisoned in an invisible cell

forgot that she has the key

been there so damn long it seems normal to her

Doesn’t know how to set herself free

Why not move? Why not take some steps beyond those frightening doors?

It’s dark because the fire’s died-out,

But this light can be rekindled.

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I’m afraid, just like everyone else. That’s the issue.

by BabyBlu
written by BabyBlu

I don’t know how much longer this joy will last. Hopefully until the end of the year, but I doubt it. Hey, at least I’m not completely empty… I feel like I’m just complaining for the sake of complaining, and that this isn’t real… I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, because I don’t think that it’s a big deal, or that I lie. I lie a lot. More than I should, about small things. Hell, my entire life is a goddamn lie at this point. Stuck between two choices, unable to listen to what my conflicting ideas are. I feel alone and wish I could […]

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Life goes on

by Clayton Michaels
written by Clayton Michaels

I have less than two month to move out.  Evicted.  I have a crazy neighbor that’s been bullying me for years, I finally went off the deep end.  I’m lucky I haven’t been arrested, but I’m definitely kicked out of the building.

Got news today that my grandmother on father’s side passed away.  I was never that close to my father’s side of the family. or my father, but we’ve been trying to reconnect.  I remember she used to give me christmas ornaments every year when I was a kid.  They were pretty cool.

My emotions are scattered.  One minute I feel up to the challenge, the […]

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Zoloft is my friend.

by NiceGuy2001
written by NiceGuy2001

A couple of weeks ago I had a major emotional meltdown. Sometimes a minor thing will trigger such things. Anyway, as soon as I got home, I completely fell apart. I didn’t think I would ever stop yelling and crying.

 

I think of my personal despair on a zero-to-ten scale: Zero being no despair, and ten being climbing up into my attic and putting a belt around my neck. On this particular evening I was up around a nine.

 

I knew something had to be done, so I was able to get a prescription for Zoloft (generic name sertraline). I’ve always been very leery about taking artificial […]

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flashback

by undoubtedly
written by undoubtedly

you were not even 13 years old when you planned your suicide. you were not even 15 years old when you seriously attempted your suicide.

i am here to tell you, younger me, that i am glad you are still around.

think about your mama. what would she feel like in this very moment, in these past few weeks when she has felt so low, if you were gone?

you were practically still a baby when someone touched you, a bad touch, a touch you didn’t like or want, and it made you feel so tainted.

listen to me. that is not what boys do when they like you. that […]

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I think my heart is giving me mixed signals

by sansfranzdeput
written by sansfranzdeput

I feel so lost right now: one of my few close friends- a girl- made me feel…………..special. We had just gone to see a marvel movie, and we were in the car, just chatting. I had previously mentioned to her passingly in the last week or so that I thought that I was going to being moving away soon, and she had reacted in a semi-sad, but mostly just bummed out way. But I brought the subject up again in the car, because I wanted to get her opinion on the whole thing. She started tearing up and sad that she’d really miss me. I […]

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Until your dead

by thelonergirl123
written by thelonergirl123

Why is it when you suddenly die, everyone is like oh “she was so loved” or “I’m going to miss her”.   Am I the only one thinking you’ll miss throwing stuff at her and posting on the hate page you created about her. I guess once you die people just love to hear “I’m so sorry for your loss” and get attention off of your death at least that’s what they’re doing with hers.

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70k+ posts

by Yikrens
written by Yikrens

i know a music thread with 60000 posts.

this page here is different. 2 user do not make of about 20% of that entries, guessed.

it is impossible to have a overview about. do you think that’s with the no partners rule?

i’m critical about if I use this page right or if the support can explain me. i maybe just lack suicidality and fear of free things..

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Against the grain

by lonewolf23
written by lonewolf23

It’s tough when your going through changes. It seems everyone wants to hold you back. As somebody with social anxiety it can get exhausting when others hate on you for breaking your shell. Many of these people are not even the social ones but rather the other quiet ones. They give me dirty looks that seem to be saying “You’re a loner, don’t even try!”. They may have given up hope but I still haven’t. I know i can overcome i Social anxiety. These days i just embrace all the weird feelings that come along with getting out of my comfort zone. And although I’ve […]

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The Cycle

by arachnophilia
written by arachnophilia

I think I’m starting to cope a little better. It used to be that I’d get sucked completely under and nearly destroy myself in times like this. Then I got to the point where I could just wearily plod on with life, slow and difficult as the terrain is. The tide’s come in again, and I feel like garbage swirling in the sea, but I think this is the first time I haven’t been afraid of it. I can take a step back and think “This is just a sign I need to adjust some things; I only need to stay calm and find out […]

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The despair is starting to lift a bit.

by NiceGuy2001
written by NiceGuy2001

When New Years Eve arrives, IF it arrives for me, I think I will be very happy to say goodbye to 2018, because this year has been the most difficult and painful year of my entire life.

The despair hit me again a couple of days ago. Every time the despair hits, it wears me down a little bit more, and sometimes I think there will be nothing left. And this time the despair was pretty bad. On the one-to-ten scale of despair, this was about an eight. But it’s starting to lift a bit. I hope I can hold on. If I don’t, I think […]

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