I’ve been fighting for so long and its time I surrender. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect daughter. I’m sorry I wasn’t born a boy. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment and I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry i couldn’t open up about it. I’m sorry I was too weak to ask for help, I thought I would get over it like all my problems, just like you said. I didn’t want to cause more drama since you said I should “get over it and stop being a drama queen”. I’m sorry I wasn’t friends with who you wanted […]
I used to love life… every bit of it.
I used to love traveling and staying up late and being with friends.
But now my mind and body has become a mobile prison I cannot escape.
Travelling meant I had to suffer from continuous worry that somehow this trip will end up badly and my mom will find out how I tried to escape from the chaos of our home.
Staying up late meant that I had to battle my mind’s endless debates on how my life will end up; good or bad (the bad side always wins). I would always find a reason to stay awake and that alone will […]
I need someone with to talk about our problems. I’m a chronic Suicidal now. I’m 20 years old and I’m a girl. My first attempt to suicide was when I was 13 years old. I’m on psychiatric treatment since I was 15 years old. I was bullied, raped, humiliated and I didn’t want to live anymore. I’ve been trough hard situations and all I’ve always tried to do is kill myself, but my family know about my problems and someone is always looking at me so I couldn’t do anything else than being in coma for an overdose of pills. Please comment below if you […]
I wrote several blogs on here under the name of Shelly, my last was about six years ago. So much has happened since then that I literally don’t know where to start, and not in a good way! I’m still alive. Clearly. I’m now 45 and I’ve lost nearly everyone dear to me except for my dog, cat and sole remaining friend. One of the people I lived with for a long time turned against us and moved out severing all contact… that’s his choice, though I guess I mean nothing to him now. Then my life partner and best friend died, in two months […]
So my last post…is getting a lot of hate….and I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to get raped….I know it’s my fault…and I’m sorry….I shouldn’t have even posted about it….I’m very sorry for making everyone upset…I just shouldn’t have said anything….I should have kept it to myself…I’ve done it for a year….I shouldn’t have said anything…
I have the same feeling sometimes, I feel a little cheered up, I have a laugh but I remind myself that this is temporary, the way I really feel, miserable, depressed, crushed, bogged down, stuck, jealous will return shortly.
My thoughts of suicide use to be just thoughts but lately this has also changed for me, I’m coming to realize that my life isn’t going to change, no one is going to come save, I either I have to begin to enjoy this miserable life or end it.
I know I won’t be able to enjoy this life, its literally to hard. I’m so far behind […]
do you ever feel so useless and depressed that you no longer feel?
after feeling angry and sad for so long i’m starting to only feel numbness. i’m starting to accept the fact that I am useless and will never be skinny or pretty or talented.
i’m too lazy and too far gone to try to “improve” myself and work on trying to get my life back together. when I try to think about feeling “normal” again I immediately realize that that is impossible and absurd. I will never and can never be happy again.
Im such a burden to all who are around me and I’ve been […]
I was in a very abusive relationship, I don’t like talking about it but I need to because I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t. His name was Roman. He was very kind to me and that meant a lot to me because I was going through a really dark episode. It started small, degrading me with words. Then he started hitting me, kicking me, eventually things got sexual. He was into a lot of kinky stuff that I won’t get into. I have headspaces called little space, kitten space and slave/sub space. I only go into them occasionally but he took […]
To my husband: I’m done trying to please you when nothing will. I can’t keep all the pain in any longer. Now you won’t have to leave me or deal with my bs as you call it. Good luck finding a new girl that will deal with you and your bs. I can’t anymore you’ve sucked me dry. Sorry your best friend is going to have to pick up my body and as you put it be disgusted with me. I wish I could have turned off my feelings before it got this bad.
To my mother in law/boss: I may have inconvenients you tonight but […]
How do you survive when the world wants to crush you? I’ve had my fair share of shitty experiences. My mom almost died from an emergency heart open surgery, twice. I was in an extremely physical, mental, emotional and sexual abusive relationship. My parents used to punish me and my sisters by spanking us with metal blind closers. They said it was “the Lord’s rod of discipline” and I finally called them out on there bullshit. Then I came out as transgender, female to male, and gay. They are very Christian and still have not accepted me for who I am, it’s been over a […]
To my mother, there was nothing you could have done, no more that you could have said, no more support you could have given. I have been broken inside a long time and I cant seem to put myself back together. Too much hurts me in this world and I cant deal with it anymore.
Please dont be sad I am gone – be happy that I wont be in pain anymore, that I wont be battling demons everyday, that noone and nothing can let me down, disappoint me or hurt me anymore. Take comfort this is my choice and I am in a better […]
Do you ever look at someone else and wish so badly that you could be them? In fact I’d rather be anyone else other than me.
“Me” is ugly, gross, flawed, useless, unworthy of life and love, unathletic, selfish, jealous, and just an utterly disappointing piece of shit. Funny how I can list tons of negative adjectives about myself but can’t think of a single positive one. Guess it just goes to show that I really am a worthless loser.
When I see my peers, family, and other people on the street I strangely feel like they’re “showing off” even if they aren’t talking about […]
Ok this is my first and probably last time i will do this
Ok all i want to say is that i dont deserve to be alive all i do is make other people upset hurt or just angry.
I have tried counselling and talking to friends but none of that seems to help me to stop wanting to kill myself
I dont know if i will ever read comments on this but there is one thing i do know.
Im not afraid to die
After all i deserve it
Life is hard Yea i get that
But getting adopted and then put back into the […]
Dear M, My one and only friend
You were the best person I ever met. You always took care and looked out for me even though im such a child. Everytime I feel apart you helped pick me back up. You pushed and motivated me to be something with my life. I looked up to you in a lot of ways. You pushed me to get a job, mostly because i wanted money to hang out with you but i still had a job. You even inspired me to give college another chance. Your the only person I trust with my life. Your the only person […]
What frustrates me so much is that this sickness taps on my windows on cold, stormy days, begging me not to sleep. It sits on my lap taunting me to caress its soft but stinging, midnight fur. In busy crowds, it whispers my name as i walk, telling me sugar-coated stories of how it made at least 5 souls drain out all the sadness inside of them in thick red in the last 4 hours it left me so i could finally close my eyes and sleep. But on days where i sleep longer and wake up waiting for its thick cloud to suffocate me, i […]
I should start this off by saying I blame no one but myself. I don’t know why God made me so I feel so deeply, but he did. I feel everything, on levels that others don’t. I don’t know if you all know how it feels to walk around and feel so deeply. It’s rewarding when you are happy, but when you are bipolar and never really know how you are going to feel when you wake up it becomes troublesome. Today I feel lower than I’ve ever felt before. I’ve been cursed with the ability to make it look like my life is all […]
I really believe that everyone else is either a robot or a computer program. It’s the only way to explain the mass delusion that would have to exist otherwise. I can’t take this world. It should all be destroyed.
So I’m depressed again. Kinda wish I was’nt too weak to be normal, but whatever. Thought about bothering my friends again, but I’m tired of being a burden on them. Wife is sick of the whining too. And I should’nt share at work. So I might as well share for the one or two people who accidentally read this. Dont worry about ignoring me: I’m not a teenaged girl so I dont fuckin matter anyways. If I mattered I would’ve done something that mattered by now. Only one thing I can do that will make any difference.
This site was in theory, a good idea. […]
… But I’m scared of failure.
Will I be paralysed?
Brain damaged?
Fail and I’ll be watched and not able to reattempt.
………………..
Vent.
I have mental health, undiagnosed… But imo it is severe.
Vent.
I’m almost 26. Literally everybody I’ve met this year thought I was 12.
When I was 15…. Everybody thought I was 10-12.
You get the picture.
I’m paedo bait.
Not everyday you get to legally “bang” a “12” year old.
Lost count of the times middle aged men have tried to prostitute me and continue on to tell me they thought i was 12-14.
Walking home today with my mum and her partner and […]
I’m her mum I loved her more than anyone
so where were you when you I had been raped as a kid? Why didn’t you be the mum and help me ? Why did I have to lie and hide to protect your feelings? I was the kid. I was the one mean to be crying. Instead you cried and lost your shit so i protected you. I just needed someone to help me, why did you have to be weak?
Why are you so depressed ? Why were you so sad all those years? What why? Your a mother your meant to be strong. You brought […]