For your poems.
Call Out to God!
Here it is again today
The blues
What a mysterious set of hues
I wish they’d go away
Here I am again today
Alone
Is this hell or is it home?
Why is everything so grey
And again I’m calling out to you
Screaming your name
Don’t you think it drives me insane?
I don’t know what more I can do
Is there something more I need to prove?
What more is there to lose?
You’ve left and gone your own way
Leaving me here with hell to pay
It’s an honest shame
That I still give into this game
Again I hear the chorus of
“You’re so brave”
depressed people are not weak. they are the strongest people. they fight more than anyone else and fall more than anyone else but still decide to get up. depression is a very deep battle inside a human being and is not fixed by blaming them for being depressed. love them no matter what they are going through, embrace them when they are frustrated for no reason and don’t give up on them. just don’t.
His name is Robert , I was only 8 years old sitting all alone on the couch. I remember his white T-shirt, all by myself in a crowed house. He hid in the kitchen to hide from the suspicion. He took my innocence, he was very quick. It only took a minute, this monster was sick. Like a broken record it repeats in my mind. 15 years pass and I’m still not fine.
They say your body is your temple but I was vandalized. This Innocent little girl on the couch was now traumatized.
He wasn’t the first to hurt me, and wasn’t the last, this little […]
I’m gonna do it from me to humanity hold on and don’t give up stay strong.
It will be rope this time
I have my doubts that anyone will even read this in its entirety. But I thank you if you do. I’m posting an essay by Allen Ginsberg, a poet from the beat generation. If you’d like, skip ahead and read it. If you’d like to read a little background about me and my history, read on. I sincerely hope at least someone bothers to give this a read. Allen Ginsberg is my personal hero. I happened upon his works when I was 19. Depressed, suicidal, half insane from isolation and mental trauma, I would […]
The belief that you
are not good enough
will force you
to entertain things
that are not worthy
of your time
the belief that you
are not good enough
will force you
to remain in an environment
that will destroy your ability
to thrive in any relationship
you attempt to create
the belief that you
are not good enough
will force you into situations
thay will cause you
to compromise your standards
the belief that you
are not good […]
I don’t want to be suicidal. I don’t want to feel as though the only way to make things better for everyone is through my absence. But that’s always where I seem to end up.
Too many feelings all at once
I don’t know how to stop
Wish it would end
I don’t want to be here
It hurts to be alive
It hurts to hurt you
I’m tired of trying, of being, of
Why can’t I be normal??!?!??!!?!??!!?!??!?!?
What is my purpose
Why am I here
Jumbled thoughts running through my head
Just keep living
One more day
Make it to the next
I am calm
The storm has passed
More like locked away
But we don’t talk about that
I never talk […]
It has been a very long time since I’ve posted here! I miss coming back here and talking with everyone. I hope this drawing makes up for my absence 🙂
Many things can happen in life,
This I know.
But what do you do,
When the pain is to much to bare.
You hurt yourself,
And call It fair,
You tell yourself that it is your you fault,
That you should have cared.
Now it’s to late.
I didn’t think it would happen to me. At all. Why would it happen? That is what I don’t understand, he tries to help, and I know he cares. It hurt him too, but why? Why does it hurt? Why am I so upset? The baby, can I […]
Maybe I should save some money to go to the Golden Bridge. Probably need 1500 dollars to get to California. Sucks that it’s across my where I live. Rumor has it that the Golden Bridge leads to another world, once you jump off it. It sounds like an easy death. I fantasize about the journey to get there.
So, found this interesting song. It’s believed to be cursed because people have kill themselves listening to it. Since we’ll all suicidal here, it won’t hurt us, and if you not suicidal then for the love of prime why are you on this site!? Go to happy sunshine […]
Sorry.
I have never heard a word abused so badly. Thrown around until it has no meaning. Wouldn’t it be nice if, for a change, there were nothing to be sorry about?
Well the girl who cried wolf will be heeded no more. Far too many chances given. Disingenuous martyrdom and false remorse do not become her, but I guess I no longer know who she is, so perhaps, in fact, they do.
Sorry’s biggest problem is that it is being spouted from a mouth that has lied to my face countless times. I do not believe a single word she says, let alone a […]
If I starve myself will you notice? You used to notice.
If I lie here crying will you understand the significance? I didn’t used to cry.
If I tell you how unhappy I am will you care? You used to care so much.
If I tell you how much I need you, will it make you feel anything at all? You used to need me more.
If I tell you I love you, can you even honestly say you love me too? It used to slip off the tongue without us noticing.
If I lie here all alone, will you sense my loneliness from where […]
Walked out of class because I couldn’t stop crying the moment I arrived. What’s wrong with me ?
I went to the cemetery on the hill my favourite place to go. And I just lay on top of an above the ground grave. And I cried.
I cried until I was numb.
I cried until I was screaming.
Then I just lay there. In silence. The wind blowing on my skin and the sun beating down on me.
I couldn’t really feel it but I didnt care. Because this was the first time I had felt at peace in weeks.
I lay there limp and emotionless. Anyone walking past […]
As we try to survive in this world we live in
We seek out meaning for the life that was given
Some search for it their entire youth
Yet little find it or see the truth
Majority give up when all hope is lost
Others are consumed by the lies they came across
We all believe it gets better after it gets worse
But those words do not apply on this curse
Even if we tried to satisfy every need
There is no cure for one’s greed
It destroys us like a cancer
Though we find ourselves alone in our pain and blackness we are many. Funny how demons push and guide us individually, but we are many. Alone in the dark we cry for deaths sweet release, but we are many. Hopeless am I here by myself, but we are many.
We are legion
i’m afraid of everything lately
i feel scared all the time
scared of falling apart, of breaking down in front of people that don’t know me like that
but i feel the need to fall apart too,
it drags me down, wears my bones and i get tired, tired, tired
i’m just so exhausted and whenever i say this,
no one seems to understand that i meant being tired of life
of everything.
i am so tired.
i feel so weak too, like i can collapse any given moment
and i feel it all the time
everyone keeps yelling at me
screaming about my grades, about my attitude, about my friends, about my habits
and whenever my lungs […]
I always give too much
To a friend or to a lover and i cant seem to understand why my giving is never equal to what i receive and i have never felt the kind of happiness i see in their eyes on mine when i am being returned the favor
They seem happier than me and believe me that lights me up completely but i dont know if ive ever heard a thank you or a slight gratitude and that saddens me so that my heart fills with ocean waves like being trapped in a bottle longing the shore, can you imagine how painful that […]
sometimes i wish
i stayed inside my mother,
never to come out.
I should go now, quietly
For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep
Where all my layers can become reeds
All my limbs can become trees
All my children can become me
Oh, what a mess I leave
i can’t think
i can’t fucking get my brains to work like how i want them to work
i can’t think and it’s affecting the rest of my body
i am crumbling, shaking, breaking
my chest hurts because my heart tries its best to keep beating when i don’t want it to
my eyes feel heavy because i deny myself the sleep i really need
i’m tired
my limbs feel weary with every step i take
i try to drag myself towards a future people say i deserve,
but do i need that?
i don’t want a future at all
i just wish to go
and still i keep myself breathing
i keep myself alive and well
what do […]