Right now, I have a ton of anxiety about having just thrown away money on Amazon. I ordered my make-at-home pain & skin cream ingredients to where I work, and like always the universe has to screw me. Since when does the post office deliver on holidays and Sundays?? So, yeah, I just got a notice that everything I ordered was left at the “front desk/reception” when there really is no front desk. There is a janitor on standby to greet people but that’s it. The bank there closed at 1pm so I don’t know if the building would even be open. So I just fucking lost […]
Rants
How easy it is to feel badly. To let yourself go into that place
When you want so much, but have so little motivation.
You begin to blame yourself. Maybe others. Maybe a combination, that it began with them but now it’s just you.
And I should probably just be saying I, because it might not be relevant to you.
I can’t succeed. Most of me doesn’t want to, and everyday I tell myself today doesn’t matter, because tomorrow I will make myself not be here. I will make myself irrelevant. I will kill myself. But tomorrow comes, and I haven’t.
I’ve become addicted to procrastination. Sex. Love. […]
I used to be a member here.
I have a very bad habbit. I get attached so easily. I was on this site before. May be a month before or may be a year before or may be 5 years before (which I am not gonna tell). I shared alot. But eventually I have to stop. Because I felt really bad because I got closed to few people on this site. Whenever I post something, everyone replied. They felt bad because of me. So I aslo felt bad because I made them felt bad.
I’m too complicated person. I’m mentally not healthy. My condition is getting […]
It seems many of us, men, here at SP struggle or have struggled with problems related to the opposite sex, messed up relationships, stalkig exes, or like me years of constant rejection, being friendzoned, women mistaking kindness for weakness and taking advantage of it and walking over us.
And you know what?
I’m 27 and i dont know why or how but about 3/4 years ago a sudden changed occurred …. i just stoped bothering with it at all, suddenly i dont care if women notice me or not, i walk by a gorgeous woman on the street with the same indiferrence that i walk by a […]
I’ve been reading recent posts and think it’s a very positive thing that you make new year antecipations and resolutions. it means deep down you still have at leats a tiny shred of hope.
Lately i find myself living day by day and dreading the future, which for some who used to think far ahead makes me unrecongnisable for myself.
Keep up the good hopes 😉
First and foremost i want to genuinely wish everyone that 2016 may be more happy or at least more bearable that the previous ones.
This Christmas i decided to give myself a present, thats right, thats why i’ve been somewhat absent lately …..i’ve decided to aquire my method, it wasnt easy and it took me months of reasearch, but i’ve made it.
It’s pretty much like band aid or tylenol or spare tire, you never know when you’re gonna need it….
If there is one time of the year i dread is New Year, it reminds me how lonely i am, you see i’ve only made real friends […]
Once again a friend ditched me for my sister, once again I feel left out. I don’t want to be alone on New Years.. It’s happened two years in a row. I want to be with those who love me. I thought I was going to change and be more outgoing this year but I guess that hasn’t worked out well for me.. I thought I had that courage. I haven’t changed at all. When will it end?
I hope everyone else is having a good New Years. You guys diserve it.
Happy New Year!
I’m hoping this is just something that will pass shortly but I think it’s going to be here for a while, I thought I might as well just type out how I’m feeling.
I’m sat in my house alone. My family have gone to their friend’s for a party leaving me here, I don’t blame them for the past couple months I’ve been the most depressing person to be around. I’m not seeing this getting any better anytime soon and honestly I don’t know what to do anymore. My friends are all dressed up and at a party I wasn’t invited to, so I’ve got no […]
There’s not purpose in my fucking life so what the point in even living, it’s so lame, so boring. I don’t want to live another stupid year, kill me now.
Wow. Okay thats a thing.
Ive been passive aggressively making life harder for myself.
Exploiting all my health issues, especially the issues i know plague the bloodline. Picked up cancer sticks with the goal to burn through a pack a week…hell even depleted all my finacial resources knowing id be fucked when debt collectora come knockin.
Anything, to get sick to get hurt…to be ruined and yet.
A car that shouldve totaled me narrowly misses..my doc clears me of any bad news and now somehow i have money in the bank. Not just a few dollars but enough to get by the next few months.
I just […]
She always felt like an outcast in her family and friends.
Mostly when she talks, its as if she’s talking to the wind. No one respond or indicate that they hear her.
She’s never been anyone’s first choice. Or second. Always the last resort.
People try to dictate what she should do in life.
She’s quiet and they thought her weird and dumb.
She’s alone. Even in the midst of people.
She’s lonely and no one dare to approach her.
She’s depress and no one care to help her.
She wants to die. The thought that lays beyond her laughter and smiles.
How sad her life is. If only there’s one person that might […]
Everyday is the same. I can’t sleep, I sit in bed trying to remember why I even do this anymore. When I get up I’m in pain and I shut myself in this little prison I’ve made of my room. I’m truly alone, I don’t exist to anyone.
When no one is home sometimes I’ll stare out my front windows and wonder what it’s like being those people that walk around with friends without having to worry about panic attacks or breakdowns. I’ve tried an extensive amount of medications and none of them help, they usually give me bad side effects too.
I can’t afford a therapist […]
Me and my sister are fraternal twins. So I mean if you have a sibling (even if you’re the same age) of course you’re going to share some things. Over the years I’ve had to share every friend group I’ve had. For the past few years I thought I finally found a friend group that I didn’t have to share. She hated all of them. Until one day she decided “Oh yeah my friends are being assholes, so while you’re in an disagreement with your best friends let me just chill with them.” Okay no, she didn’t say it like that. What she did say […]
Me and the person I thought I could call my best friend. The person that helped me through everything. We are strangers. ( mostly because of your stupid girlfriend. You said nothing could come between us. Look what happened.) I’ve tried to fix things between us, but I got no reply. What else can I do? I’ve tried everything I could. I don’t even know how he feels about our situation. I miss him more than anything. I never thought I’d lose him. But I have. This pain is nothing I’ve ever felt before. I honestly don’t want to go into the new year […]
Yes, I feel like shit and I should be allowed to feel like shit.
So, on Christmas day, I went out to eat with the guy that I like at a Chinese buffet. He’s getting his life together pretty well, he’s gotten a car from a friend and had a job off the record. He had to go afterwards though because he is popular and has tons of people in his life. I saw something on his page from the person he’s renting from, which is a girl who likes him (and is dating someone else but here in Chicago everyone has a dozen boyfriends or […]
From everything I’ve known; my job, family, and the only life I’ve ever known. I feel so stuck, no purpose or motivation to do anything anymore, and I’m seriously contemplating leaving the States for Canada even though there’s nothing for me there (job, home, or friends). I’d be a stranger in a strange land, but even that sounds more appealing then what I’m facing right now. I just want to getaway even if I’m running away from my problems; does anyone else ever feel this way?
I cant see myself growing old. Somehow I just know that my death will not be a natural one. Ive spent my entire life on my knees just trying to crawl through this darkness with no end in site and I am so tired. When I ask myself what the best part of living is I immediately think death because it is the only thing that ends this unbearable cycle. I spent the first five years of my life being regularly raped by a family member and watching my mother die from an incurable illness while being beat on by my drug abusing alcoholic father. The […]
I’ve spent a year and a half helping my gf through her depression/anxiety/cutting/suicide thoughts, and I am supposed to start my master’s classes in March but somehow, my parents went from paying $50-60k a year to f-ing $150k!!! Like I get adding another person to the food bill makes it go up but adding my gf to food bill with my brother living off of his school loans, should not cost that fucking much. Like i’m glad i didn’t go to Hawaii or New York. I stayed and worked, but the company was nothing but sales and didn’t know consulting from their own assholes . […]
Family member yells get the fuck outta your room and help with dishes so i cover my cuts like I’ve been told to do and go out i start washing dishes then realize i have to roll up my sleeves my mom glares at me and whispers you better not be doing that for attention i said please step out of the kitchen so i can have room to move freely and do the dishes she walks out one of our guests comes over and stares at my arm then when i ask what’s wrong she just replied so you’re older now and i noticed […]
Yet another Christmas my family just wants me to stay in my room which normally i don’t mind but seeing everyone so happy with their family or significant other kills me i wonder why can’t i have that why was i born into such a cruel family why so many questions but the good part is this year i have money and its like 70 here for the first time so i can drive the work truck around (it doesn’t have heat so usually I wouldn’t drive it in the winter) I’ll probably just leave to go to the park or something maybe i don’t […]