Rants

3

life is great, i jst dnt think its for me

September 28th, 2010by Ren

i wish i could be somewhere els , i really want to be happy iv tryed for so long ,im only young but i’v been through so much and its stupid coss i dont want to be that depressed girl anymore i love haveing fun but at the end of the day , happyness fades and reality kick’s in .
i have no friends , only 2 members of my familey actually talk to me . iv been raped beaten by guys , heart broken bullied for what i look like . every day is the same . i dont want to die i just want …

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14

No Easy Answers…

September 20th, 2010by Shelly

Okay so everyone always wants to know what my problem is, why I feel this way or why I seem totally unable to make things better. But for fucks sake they don’t know me, or my history, so they’re in no position to judge! The fact is if they did, they’d probably understand why I want to die as badly as I do. And trust me it’s such a long, sordid and sad story that half the time I wouldn’t even know where to start or how to explain. Sometimes I look at the way my life has turned out and it makes me fume with …

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3

mine to decide

September 16th, 2010by tish

I am facing the fact That death by suicide is possibly going to be the way I leave this world. It’s not a snap  decision and doesn’t even feel like a choice. Just from an exhaustion in every level of my being. Was it the build up of traumas physical and emotional over the last few years in particular? Or was the 13 year old me all those years ago wise when she thought she would only make it to her 30’s before getting tired. Is this a phase or is this the end ?My physical pain from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and hellish depression and …

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2

Crescent shaped Cuts on the palms of my hands

September 16th, 2010by Acid_hagar

Something in her eyes, the way she likes to cry

must be the smoke in my lungs

tear up and watch me burn

I feel like its okay I feel so good today

dizzy me,your so easy to entertain

I smiled at the way you laughed like this was a joke

I’m a failure when I fall

the worlds no pleasure I feel so small

fetal fusion on the wall

I tried to please her

she watched me fall, romance me burned

smoked out smoked away I feel so much better

something in you strikes a chord

I feel like you watch me

watch me burn, warn me soon

the fires cold, so cold im burned

If I made you cry …

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7

I dont want to be here

September 15th, 2010by Acid_hagar

i am 15.  i dont know where to begin. i just cant take anymore. i dont feel like it is worth it to try so hard for nothing. My mom, it just seems like no matter how hard i try for her or how much i work to make things right im always wrong. im always fucking up over and over again. and just when i feel like things might get better they fall down. i feel alone. even the people i though were close to me dont want to listen to me. thats all i want. is for someone to listen to me. for …

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1

This is just a True story

September 15th, 2010by 18th floor balcony

So I lived in a foster home for all of my life…I remember the day when I was sent there with my brothers and sister…I was scared…I thought my mother gave me away…

Things were never good after that…There were children in the homes with me…Some times they would make me do things with them…I to be honest cant tell if it was rape or not…because they were not much older then me…maybe they we nine and I was like six or seven…But Kids shouldnt know about that stuff…

Anyways…

My mother was a horrible one…she didn’t call for over a year…Maybe it was to hard for her…I …

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2

I don’t know how to cope.

September 13th, 2010by sakura_haruko

I’ve been hurt too much in my past. Especially by people I’ve loved, and people I’ve cared about.

I’ve been abused in all sorts of ways both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I was abandoned by my parents, for not being smart enough, for not being popular enough, for not being like them; just because I’m the black sheep of the family. My so called best friends aren’t even always there for me, especially when they know that I depend on them like family. Especially R, she never seems to care when it’s important. And B doesn’t even care about me enough to want me in her life …

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2

what is wrong with me?

September 12th, 2010by flip92

So…it’s been two months since I’ve written here.  Last time, I was complaining about being a Christian with homosexual desires.  Now, I just need to let out a whole lot of steam about something else that is forcing me to question whether or not this life means anything. 

So now I genuinely want to pursue a relationship with a female.  My homosexual desires still linger, but not as prominently as before.  Even though they are receding, I have retained a sort of sympathy for closeted homosexuals and others who are just plain confused about their sexuality.  The psychological games and wars that come inherently with unwanted …

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1

Why would you want to end so young? Because I hate life…

August 23rd, 2010by LunaLayla

I get this stupid question all the frecken time. I’ve tried to kill myself more than ten times and people always ask this, “Why die so young?” “You’ve barley lived a day much less a life to end?” And so many more pointless questions. I first tried when I was thirteen to kill myself, I cut my arms so deep and in so many places that they had to do a blood transfusion. I was in treatment for ten months and now I am out but I still want to die. How easy it was to lie my way out of the stupid system. There’s …

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3

Completely Lost

August 22nd, 2010by AussieMatty

Hey Guys,

I don’t know why I’m writing this, who its for, who it’s to. I don’t know much about anything these days, nothing that matters anyway. I feel pre-programmed, living life as a ghost. I feel completely alone even when surrounded by people. I don’t know why, I don’t understand. I’m athletic and fit, studying at uni, working in a good job, pretty popular and liked by a lot of people. But it doesnt matter, it never has. I feel like I should be happy, but hide behind forced smiles & fake gestures.

I feel like I’m living a lie, wearing a mask to protect others, …

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7

Commit suicide

August 22nd, 2010by pdf23ds

Sometimes, suicide is the answer. I believe suicide is the answer for me. And it very well could be for you.

But not likely. Most people who commit suicide are not thinking terribly rationally. If you’re having really hard times right now, things do get better. (On average.) If you’ve just broken up with someone and are feeling extremely depressed, suicide is almost certainly a bad idea. If you’ve just suffered a large or huge financial loss, it’s very likely that if you just hang in there you’ll be just as happy in a couple years as you were before …

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0

My Story.

August 20th, 2010by laaauren

I’ve had alot of family problems, financial problems, and boy problems. I’ve tried to kill myself twice. Both failed attempts obviously. The first one, because the guy, who i still love today, left me. I felt hurt, angry, upset, and pretty devastated. The second, well i guess i just had enough. But, the question is,why do we hold the ones who hurt us the most closest? I’ve thought i had some really good friends, But you know what? It turns out, they were nothing but backstabbing , using, sluts. I give out alot of advice, but then, why do we never take advice from ourselves? My friend wanted …

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8

There is no God

August 15th, 2010by Smile Kid

I’m tired of all these people telling me I need to accept and believe in God just to be happy. God can’t make me happy – he has no control over my emotions. I barely have any control over my emotions, and they’re my own.

“There is no God and there is no soul. Hence, there is no need for traditional religion. With dogma and creed excluded, then immutable truth is dead and buried. There is no room for fixed and natural law or permanent moral absolutes.” -John Dewey

Life has no meaning; none of us are here for a reason. That is what I believe …

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2

What to DO?

August 14th, 2010by Nikki

I don’t understand. A couple of days ago I was out with my friend and her family having fun at a dance hall in the country side of Texas. I didn’t know how to dance and I ask guy to teach me. My friend who is very shy when it comes to guys asked me to ask the guy I had danced with to dance with her. I do and she after half a dance sat down. She likes him and I was happy for her. I continue to dance with the guy (Lets name him Guy 1) and his friends. I was having …

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4

Half a Century …

August 12th, 2010by GoblinWeb

Prof. David Fergusson looked depressed on ‘Close Up’ (TV1)  tonight, and who wouldn’t?  A ten and a half minute series of sound bites focusing on media rights and obligations. A press gave him the equivalent of 10″ x 2″ on page two.

Suicide is the most appalling waste of potential, and our society needs to honestly face up to the causes and responsibilities for these losses, instead of hiding the problem in the collective closet.  I believe we have some of the highest statistics in the Western world, especially for young males.

I first saw a psychologist when I was 8.  My new private school decided …

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2

Well then a story to unfold.

August 9th, 2010by Zeke2010

It appears long time ago that I have slipped through the cracks of life.  It seems though I am watching everything from a glass window with no interaction with others.  I am 29 years old and I honestly do know what to do anymore.  I have had long term friends just shove me aside like I am a pile of feces waiting to me turned to dust.  I told all my friends they mean the world to me and that wasn’t enough. My last friend said “We are married and no longer have any time for you.”  I no longer have any friends.   I sit …

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2

One more step.

August 4th, 2010by meliaming

That’s all it would take. One more step.

I don’t expect anyone to reply this, nor do I expect anyone to read this. I just want to vent out feelings I haven’t been able to tell anyone in my life right now.

It’s been a year since I last thought about suicide. Since then, I’ve moved to Australia for college and I’ve met so many new people. I thought this was to be my new start. A fresh beginning from the previous year where friends turned against me. Dispose of my jealous feelings I had towards even my close friends – start anew. I was right, for …

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1

Too Much Too Young

August 3rd, 2010by Koojiru

So, for the 50billionth time in my 18 years I have a plan to kill myself, again.

You think that after having religious revolations, and beliving in Karma and re-encarnation I would have given up on suicide attepmts. No, it seems my inner deamons havent had enough of my heart and keep chewing.

Let me paint you a picture here, on a giant 5’3 canvis. Picture a woman sitting, wondering how shes going to “fix” this canvis before it grows to what it really is today. She holds her pain brush up to it, then dips it in mold green, vomit yellow and black. That woman was …

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1

Both Ends

July 28th, 2010by 400metermike

Being on the both ends of suicide is something that I never thought I would ever experience by the time I was 22. On August 5 2002  was the starting of all the bad things that would happen in my life. I can still remember everything about that day, I remember exactly what I was doing and I can still hear ever word my uncle Darien said to me that day. During that summer he would always come over and hangout with me until I had to go to football practice. He was like my older brother I looked up to him in so many …

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0

Liontamer

July 27th, 2010by droznig

“If you place something at the centre of your life that lacks the power to nourish, it will eventually poison you and destroy everything that you are.

As simple a thing as an idea, or your perspective of yourself or the world around you, no one can be the source of your contempt, it lies within, in the centre”

Lyrics to a song i heard once.

Lion tamer – Faithless

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