Rants

10

Life…Slowly…Piecing…Back

  March 7th, 2011 by LonelyEyesOfLostness

So, I’m still in the same situation as I was before, but now I have a couple people helping me out and who knows maybe I will be ok, but eventually I know I will come to grips with what is staring me right in the face. DEATH. I will end up going before my time is up…unless I can convince myself otherwise, which I don’t see happening.

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

You make me mad

  March 5th, 2011 by Rocky90

“You have your whole life ahead of you!”

“There is so much to live for!”

“Keep your head up!”

“Oh your husband is just stupid!”

Do you know what an ignorant thing to say that is?

To prolong the suffering of those who are broken by trying to talk them into continuing their lives is sadistic and selfish. You do it because you yourself are afraid of death and you don’t want to be faced with it, in any way. You’re extending their suffering for months at best and you know very well that they are going to off themselves in the end.

You’re creating internal conflicts for them by tempting …

Processing your request, Please wait....
10

Stupid…

  March 5th, 2011 by Deep abyss

I was really stupid today. I tried to count on others and ask them for help. Of course, no one was really there for me. Like always, when I need them no one is there. I don’t even know why I bothered. Everyone’s a fake to me.  Always putting on fake masks. I have no one. I’m so stupid to believe otherwise.

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Lost

  March 3rd, 2011 by Payne

I am new to this and I don’t know if this will help me in some way, but I will try.

Where to begin? For 2+years I have felt this overwhelming depression.Every day I contemplate suicide.Every day I have to tell myself to just put one foot in front of the other. I honestly don’t know whats wrong with me anymore. I don’t even have a bad life.You could even say my life was the American dream. Big white house, suburban area, small developing town, nuclear family. My parents are employed and they make rather decent paychecks. I’m only 17. From what I gather I am …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

A living paradox

  March 3rd, 2011 by TheLostOne

I cannot tell you how many times ever since roughly around high school that I’ve had thoughts about killing myself. And yet, after all those thoughts, I’ve managed to stay alive to the age of 23 on March 17th. How I managed to stay alive for so long? Reminding myself that I have a purpose in this crazy world of ours. Yet after continuously reminding myself of that idea, I underwent possibly my worst breakdown that I’ve had for the longest time about a creative way to erase my existence because of a conversation with my parents, specifically my father, that I’ve heard dozens of …

Processing your request, Please wait....

So angry…

  March 3rd, 2011 by fedupofsiteslikethis

This goes out to all those who encourage others to take their own life and not to those who are desperately seeking help.  To the latter, I am so sorry that life is so bad and that there seems like no other option is out there.  I can only hope that you can find some kind of peace and happiness eventually.

I have been on this site for a few days now just looking at different posts and have to say from a person who has lost a Son through suicide I am so sick of looking at all the crap on here.

So many people on …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

True Cry

  March 3rd, 2011 by LonelyEyesOfLostness

Her Lips, His Ear
Her Pain, His Tear
Both Taken Away From All Love Ever Known
Both Have No Place To Call A Home.
So As They Fade Into The Abyss Of The Night
She Struggles In The Noose She Wrapped So Tight.
He Stays By Her Side Just As Blood Trickles From His Veins,
Not Even Love From A True Cry,
Could Cure Their Pains.

Processing your request, Please wait....
33

Lost And Insecure

  March 2nd, 2011 by LonelyEyesOfLostness

So lately my life has been nothing but a drag. I have clinical depression bi-polar disorder aniexty issues and panic disorder. Everything will go great for me for a couple months and then shut the next day. I’m starting to feel like friends family and my boyfriend aren’t enough. I need help. I’ve been cutting since the 7th grade and have attempted a few times.

Processing your request, Please wait....
8

Sexism and Lonliness on the Bus

  March 2nd, 2011 by NeverKnown

I dread catching the bus to school.  I’m am sick of seeing that fat, black lady’s face, covered in makeup, twisted into an arrogant smile, with large dark sunglasses hiding her eyes.

She watches our every move.  “Don’t sit there,” she says to one girl.  “Move to the back.”

But let me start at the beginning.

She was a new bus driver, and an annoying one at that.  We could deal with her radical arrivals:  She would come at 8:50 one day and 8:15 the next.  Not to mention her fast driving on the turns and over the bumps.  But it was okay.  She gradually improved.

But then she …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Why is pulling that trigger so hard?

  March 1st, 2011 by BrokenDevil

  Obviously, I was not done raging against the dying of the light. Unfortunately, the light is not done raging aginst me.

  I’m so tired of disappointing people, and myself. And here I am again, whining about how life’s too hard. Sadly, I see that there are so many other people who wanna end it but also lack the courage to shoot themselves. Gee, I guess I’m not special at all. That makes me feel really fuckin’ good, let me tell ya.

  I think my wife’s heading towards cheating on me with a guy she works with. My daughter’s been disappointed in me since day …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Sometimes I just want to give up.

  February 28th, 2011 by floaton

I need to vent. I need to let it all out before it continues nibbling on my insides and destroys me. Last time I spilled my insides to anyone was so long ago. I’ll guess I’ll start from the very, very start. It all started at a very young age. I had a babysitter because my parents were always too busy for me. She was this loud, eccentric middle-aged woman. She was pretty nice. But, as the time progressed I learned that in her house I had no freedom. I wasn’t able to express myself without feeling judged or without being yelled at. She made …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Demise

  February 27th, 2011 by RogueShadow1281

My demise… I wish there was something I could do to be remembered, but I am just lost. I wasted so much precious time playing video games, going to school, all that crap. That doesn’t mean I’m already past all that. I’m still wasting time. Wish I could go down with a bang, but I won’t, unless I suicide with a pistol of some sort. Hopefully a Colt… Or maybe a Revolver, just so my neighbor will remember how his favorite gun killed someone he knows. Ha, anyways I want to live and die fighting. I want to lead an army of outcasts(or some army) …

Processing your request, Please wait....
9

why smile? why breathe?

  February 27th, 2011 by Quiet.Star

I always have to smile. Even though I have to live with the piece of shit I am forced to call my father. He used sexually and phsyically abuse me, yet I have to respect him. My mom thinks that I’m making all of this up. All of my closest friends are dead due to drugs or violence. The world is filled with so much blind, ignorant hate. I get preached by the church to be accepting while they damn me for being bisexual. I spend time studying and getting good grades, but for what? Everything is pointless..

Processing your request, Please wait....
18

Want To End It

  February 27th, 2011 by smiling on the outside...

I can’t live like this.  Everyday i am always pretending to be someone i am not.  A smart person, a kid that a sophmore can ask quietly how to do the homework, someone to take remarks with a smirk on my face.  I’m not.  Instead i’m really a fucked up idiot that can’t do shit without fucking it up.  A  depresssed teenager that can’t even do something simple as ending it on a weekend when the house is to myself for hours.  What my parents never know (or care for) is that for every injustice and unfair insult they inflict upon me is one step closer for me to …

Processing your request, Please wait....
9

The Power of Love and Friendship

  February 27th, 2011 by Deep abyss

No offense to people who still believe in it… but anyone besides me think that’s bull?

I’ve honestly been a hardcore advocate of true love and the strong ties between friends. Through many years, I realize this is bull. There is no such thing as true love and true friendship. They’ll all backstab you once they’re done with you. I can honestly say that I’ve always truly gave my love to someone before and did everything a good friend should and always been there for both but have never truly felt anyone do the same for me. Not once. I mean I’ve felt it like maybe during the small …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Tell them to keep things quiet.

  February 26th, 2011 by Melancholia

Surely we are all meant to be something more. But we aren’t. Chances are, we won’t ever be. And we go along wondering what the meaning to everything is. But we won’t ever know. I don’t even think there is a meaning to anything. We just need to feel like there is because it just makes sense. The thought of existing with no meaning is so depressing, we might as well all kill ourselves now.

I just wish things could last. Without having to constantly earn them. I don’t want to leave the only person who I find is worth anything. But I’m being forced to. …

Processing your request, Please wait....
17

I really need to talk to someone

  February 26th, 2011 by Quiet.Star

Okay, so I know everybody has bad days and we’re supposed to persevere and all that jazz, but I honestly don’t feel like putting any effort into living anymore. Everyone around is fake and shallow; every time I try to talk to my “friends” about something that isn’t happy they just end up ignoring me and trying to change the subject. They also talk about people who cut themselves (which I have done for years), saying they should just get it over with already. they have no fucking idea how tempted I am…
Unfortunately, all my attempts have been stopped by people who “care” (which I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Suffering

  February 26th, 2011 by RogueShadow1281

The idea of suffering is used as a sense of being constantly in pain. Or something like that, I don’t feel like checking wikipedia for that. Anyways, I think I enjoy suffering. I am a pessimist also, I pity myself and feel like shit all the time. I always ***** about how I will never have my first girlfriend, even though I tell myself I’m too scared. I enjoy putting myself down. Also, whenever I go on this site. The fact that it’s got to do with suicide, makes me depressed just going on here, yet while I’m in high school classes. I go on …

Processing your request, Please wait....
72

Why am I still here?

  February 25th, 2011 by Deep abyss

I found this site while searching for ways to kill myself and saw how some people went through the same things that I have.  Some went through worse and some not so bad as me.  Yet, I wonder why I’m still here?  I wanted to die so much.  I still want to die so badly.  Yet, I’m alive and still here, still suffering in pain.

I wish I  can find some good ways to kill myself, but still haven’t found anything great.  Everyday, I walk around school and all I see are fake looks in people’s eyes.  Walking around alone, coming home alone, staying inside this …

Processing your request, Please wait....
9

Suicide

  February 25th, 2011 by Kizzy

When I don’t take my Meds I lose track of my myself. I sink in to a depression. The darkness takes over. All I can think of is my demons. All the mistakes I’ve made, the people I’ve hurt, those who I’ve lost are stuck in my head. The memories replaying again and again until I want to die.

I hate all those how rant about how suicide is a sin. I think they just fear death and that makes them feel weak. They hide their weakness behind walls of hate.

Suicide is not a sin. It is not a weakness. It takes strength to do. So many times I have …

Processing your request, Please wait....