Rants

4

I give up

  March 20th, 2011 by doesntmatteranymore

Since I was 13 I have had alot of trouble with depression, ten years later it hasn’t gotten much better. At age 15 I attempted to kill myself by shooting myself in the chest with a .22 handgun – the bullet missed my heart and went through my ribs. I spent some time in the hospital while I healed and a few days in a mental hospital, but I was able to convince them that I was ok. Months of emotional agony later I was able to pretend for a long time that everything was ok. Sure, I had my bad times, everyone does. But …

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1

Hopeless

  March 18th, 2011 by journey8

I feel like no one cares about me. My friends are always available when THEY need help, but somehow when the shoe’s on the other foot, so to speak, they magically disappear. My family doesn’t give a shit; they don’t get why I’m so unhappy, when they provide everything for me. At school I put on a farce and act the class clown they know me as, and I act happy because I am happy, happy to be distracted from the hopelessness that has encompassed my life. I feel like I have nothing. I’m useless. My friends use me because they know I will listen …

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3

a new way for pain

  March 18th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

yesterday i figured out another way inflict pain on myself. i forgot how strong i am when i’m really pissed. so i smacked my arm a couple times and my forearm was red. my younger brother completely pissed me off yesterday. i dont understand why he has to be such a brat. and my sister thinks everything is a frickin game. why is it that every little thing pisses me off. i really need therapy. Burning doesnt help much, but hitting my hands and arms against stuff helps a bit i feel much better. i actually almost broke my wrist by hitting it as hard …

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12

Some thoughts…

  March 18th, 2011 by Radar

I’ve been thinking of suicide alot lately. Actually… my whole life. I’ve had severe depression since the age of 3. Right now I’m in my mid-30’s. I’ve been on different medicines and tried different kinds of therapy but nothing seems to work. I believe this just might be something I’ll have to live with all my life.

I was born into a very bad situation. Let’s just say that my body betrays me big time. I’ve had a very hard life and have experienced things no one should have to go through. I many times have horrible luck and everything- and I mean everything- is difficult …

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6

Mental hospitals only exacerbate the situation, if anything.

  March 18th, 2011 by stm1992

I don’t understand what mental health professionals are thinking by locking people up in secure facilities. Seriously? What makes you think that removing a person from his/her life, from everything s/he is familiar with, from everything that may comfort him/her and dropping him/her in an environment completely devoid of privacy, humanity, normalcy, etc. is supposed to help? How in the world does placing someone who is suicidal with a bunch of other suicidals “help” him/her? It doesn’t. It only makes things worse, because you talk to these people, feed off their negativity, their own loneliness and learn their personal techniques to self-harm.

It would make sense …

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9

I’m too young for this

  March 17th, 2011 by scphotography01

Lately I have been very sad, and I usually come home from school crying. I am not sure if this is true or not, but my mind is constantly telling me that I am ugly, stupid and have no talent. My parents had me by accident, and sometimes I feel like they don’t want me. I’m not even sure how my friends feel about me. I feel like God made me as a joke, just to laugh at all the stupid things I do. Sometimes I feel like everything would just be better for everyone if I just ended it all. I am only thirteen years old, …

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3

How come..?

  March 17th, 2011 by Deep abyss

How come I see people all around me happy and smiling? How come I see people around me always with others or with a loved one?

I log on facebook and see all my old high school “friends” happy with girls in their arms or happy with buds while I’m all left out here alone. How come..? We were all the same and hung out and were in the same clubs and sports team, yet how come everyone one of them is happy while I’m all alone here in my room and depressed and suicidal? How come the girl I was with, who was also depressed …

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6

i finally cried

  March 17th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

Today i finally cried…………………..

Today i sat in a stall in the girls bathroom and cried, but i also raked my finger nails across my left wrist. It felt good but i dont think it helped but yes i did feel better for once i didnt draw blood which was a good thing for me. it felt good t finally cry, and even better when no one asked questions, becasue usually someone with tear stained cheeks draws some attention. i feel better though…….

and my best friend forgave me and i am truly glad!!!

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6

if i say i wont give up will you believe me?

  March 17th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

I thought I have heard it all and seen it all. I hate my life sometimes, and I hate my family. But sometimes it is hard to say this.

Many times when I’m ready to give up, I tell my friends that I won’t even though they know it as well as I do that it’s a bold faced lie. When things get bad I always want to give up. But my friends try to encourage me to keep going. But even when the going gets tough, I’m always ready to throw in the towel.  How can I keep this up before I completely lose …

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1

Hell I am there

  March 17th, 2011 by Lost_Again

O god..I am there, thank you for finally giving me the courage..I have been wanting to do this for so long, welcome any pain then this one..A gay diabetic..20 years old..and yet to old to be raped, held a dying friend, beaten by my so called loved ones..Well this curse will be my savior as it plunges into my blood to release me of this..

Im so angry and so full of this..I HATE YOU, that goes to all my so called friend who laughed when I was rapped for being where I wasnt suppose to..my fault I guess..w/e…when he broke my arm the man who …

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8

i dont know why…:(

  March 16th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

what else can i say? its the same nightmare over and over again. all the rage the fighting. the screaming……

recently my boyfriend of 6 months dumped me because i wasn’t talking to him all that much.i tried to explain to hiim why. but he wouldn’t listen, but we talked last night and i told that i was sorry…. being that i’m not very social in the first place. why won’t he listen? i have no idea. i honestly have gone a bit nuts because of this. I don’t know what to do. i miss him so much, we still talk but i still have this …

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4

Suffer

  March 14th, 2011 by RogueShadow1281

Let me rant on again…
I’m a 16 year old male from California. That should do you enough good, right?
This planet, this beautiful (or my image of the paradise it was portrayed as) earth inhabited by life. Also inhabited are evil, greedy humans. They are parasitic creatures that prey on this planet’s resources and each other. I fully understand that there are good people, who make you think different, but think about the majority of the people, the evil, vile creatures. These people deserve to suffer, but why not let them suffer without me. I would much rather be dead than to suffer, but I …

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2

Savior

  March 14th, 2011 by Lost_Again

I think I tried to deal, maybe it is testament to my failures..My curse will become my savior, as I look into this chambor, my savior is clear in this caliber, Thank You for trying.

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87

Sunday

  March 13th, 2011 by Deep abyss

It’s Sunday again. Everyone’s out having fun with their friends. They’re going out or staying at home chatting with others or playing games or whatever it is, happily. If not with their friends, with their lovers or are flirting or what not with others. Either with others, or busy doing things that they enjoy to do. Or just plain, gone out with family or anything.

Me… I’m sitting here all alone again in my room. I see no one. In this prision cell of mine’s for years now, all alone. I find no joy in anything I do. The sadness and loneliness, slowly sucks the life out …

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3

Bipolar

  March 13th, 2011 by RogueShadow1281

I think I might actually be chucking bipolar. I’m playin video games, and then I’m suddenly angry as fuck like right now and then I came down after a while everything ends up pissing me off. And to make matters fuckin worse my mind drifts often so I end up thinking about murdering his stupid ass and then I think about killing myself. Grrrr!!! I’m fuckin angry as fuck and the only thing I wanna do is airsoft but my dad doesn’t like weapons so he only likes using his fists to kick my ass but that’s all I wanna do other than video games. …

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4

Defeated

  March 12th, 2011 by Lost_Again

I look at my gun and I am so tired, Im 22…been feeling this way for so long, Ive tried everything and it does nothing..I really have no idea why I even registered, will someone care? Why should they? Will it mean something when they desert me like everyone has every done. I dont fear death…hence it adds to my confusion why I am here, if not fear it then why go? I have nothing to live for..just more blood and more pain.

Im tired of getting my ass kicked because I am gay.

Im tired of having no friend or friends to merely use me.

Im tired …

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9

Depression has won. Im throwing in the towel (thegirl.interrupted1989@gmail.com)

  March 12th, 2011 by the girl interrupted

For the past 6 years since I was 16, I’ve been depressed. Throughout high school, you wouldn’t think I was though. I looked happy. I should have been an actress. Little did people know that I was hospitalized for trying to kill myself at 16. I use to be one of the popular pretty girls in school and after high school, my depression got really severe. I’ve been thinking about killing myself for the past 3 years but it hasn’t got this bad til the past year or two. Everyday the thoughts get stronger. My feelings seem to …

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1

  March 10th, 2011 by kaigne

My best friend was murdered when I was in grade 7, December 25’th, 2007. I haven’t felt any emotion other than anger and sadness since that day. I’m known as the family failure or disgrace to my family, Atleast that’s what my dad calls me.I’ve thought about killing myself before but I felt like I had something to live for, until now. I was kicked out of my house because I miss too much school, there are people that care, but I can only name 2, and both of them live atleast an hour away, or provinces away. I have nowhere to go, nobody that …

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5

I can’t do this anymore

  March 10th, 2011 by foolycooly

I’ve been telling myself this for 7 years and I need a way out. Every year it just gets worse with more time passing by. I haven’t ever had anything or anyone to live for, no meaning whatsoever. I acknowledge that there are people in my life that care, but they’ve never really shown it in the ways I need them to and they definitely don’t understand how I’ve been feeling for so long. At this point I don’t care at all, I don’t feel anything, and I just want what’s best for myself to be free of this constant hell that I live in …

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9

So Why Do I Care?

  March 10th, 2011 by LostLove

I have lost my ability to feel, to have emotion, but yet I am afraid of the pain.
Why would I consider the affects of failing at suicide, if I plan on succeeding?
Maybe if I have brain damage, someone might care about me.
I wonder who might this affect, but I have no one.
I think some people might feel sad but not very long.
I doubt anyone would go into depression about me.
I use to think that if I die, my mom would be heart broken.
I use to think she cared about me, but she blamed me for ruining her life.
Maybe I did, maybe that’s why our …

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