I think I might actually be past the point of no return. I can’t see a future anymore, and to be completely honest I don’t think I want to. I know my reasons are stupid. There’s nothing noble or pure about me. I’m selfish and greedy and weak above all. Happiness isn’t waiting for me here. I’ve never belonged here. I have no passion for anything anymore. I don’t know if I ever did. I don’t want to lock myself into a career that will leave me feeling unfulfilled, especially if I add the fact that I have to put in so much unnecessary and […]
Rants
At the age of 17 I was diagnosed with clinical depression, split up with my girlfriend, stopped eating for 1 week, stopped drinking water, lost 3 stone in just 2 weeks. Fluoxetine 60mg a week makes you feel empty, emotionless… No happiness, no sadness; just a zombie. You question your purpose more than ever in that state, “Why am I here…” “Why am I alive” “I’m useless” “No one cares”. I attempted suicide 3 weeks later, sometimes even the saddest people don’t have the strength to go through with it all the way. I was later admitted to see a psychiatrist weekly under the suspicion […]
I should just let him fuck me whenever he wants. Even if I have his words playing in my head over and over. Even though I’m so stressed out that my period actually stopped for two months. I tried to reach out to people. Tried to find a friend in those who were there before but that was a mistake. I go online and type “My boyfriend wants to have sex but I don’t”. Found ONE article in which the answer-er was sympathetic. The rest were all leaning towards compromise. “It’s your obligation as a woman to meet your mans needs.” Go fuck yourself you […]
Lately I’ve realized I’ve been crying in my sleep. It happens at least once or twice a month. This is weird because it has never happened to me but suddenly this year it started up (about a few months back). I consciously know I’m doing it, but, I cannot stop myself or wake myself up. This may sound odd but it hurts when I cry in my sleep too. I can’t explain it but from what I can remember It hurts my head..
I really hope these won’t be frequent..
Forgive me for the aggressive, hastily written few paragraphs
I cannot help but be angry with myself for all the pointless bullshit I’ve put myself through. Fuck, man, I just want to die. But that’d be pointless. I’d be leaving behind a path of selfish destruction.
I’m so fucking selfish for feeling this way. So fucking guilty of this. Of hating myself and my life and knowing that there isn’t a single possible outcome to my life that would be something I’d like. I’m lonely. I’m really fucking lonely. I don’t have anyone. Nobody. (Not romantically. Nothing. The only person […]
Hey guys. I just need some advice. I tried to get an appointment with my therapist but I couldn’t get one till next week. I figured I would just ask people here because I need these thoughts out of my head.
My mom is cheating on my dad, and my dad doesn’t know, but I do. I think it has been going on for about a month, but I finally saw proof last night. I feel kind of obligated to tell him but I don’t know if I should or not. Tomorrow is my birthday, and my grandparents are supposed to be coming over. My cousin […]
Love comes unexpectedly, it feels like a gust of wind strong enough to knock you off your feet, powerful enough to take your breath away. I feel as if God sent me an angel to temporarily take away the darkness that’s consumed me. But I’m already so far gone I’m bringing him down with me, and I see it in his face every time I lash out at him. I know he cares so much for me but I push him away when he tries to get closer to me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, my whole life I’ve longed for the feeling […]
Every day I find myself seeing something that reminds me of you and I wonder.. do you do the same thing? When you smell vanilla candles do you think of me? I wonder do you open up all of you media eagerly hoping that today was the day you heard from me again. I wonder when you walk around the mall do you think of how well our hands fit together. I wonder if you think of me when you hear Canon. Uou know.. I perfected it for you. I can hit all the vibratos now. Do you ever think about how we could have […]
It’s been months since I’ve started to come here to find comfort, just seeing people as eager to quit this world as me makes me feel better, I felt safe, and comfortable each time I opened up the website, so I’ve decided to create an account too.
My issue is not necessarily coming from a particular event but much more from a profoundly anchored existantial boredom. Each passing day is the same, even though I know there is so much I have not seen? Being human is such a weird experience. There are so many things I want to say I don’t know what to start […]
I hate reality ! reality is boring ! Doctor Strange , Marvel MCU , Avengers , Sword Art Online , Virtual Reality , games , movies , novels , anime manga , comics is better than reality !
I hate reality ! reality is boring !
Doctor Strange is better than reality !
Marvel MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) is better than reality !
Avengers is better than real world !
Sword Art Online is better than real life !
Virtual Reality is better than boring reality !
video games is better than reality real life real world !
movies is better than real-world real-life reality !
novels is better than real-life real-world reality !
anime manga is better than boring real life real world reality !
comics is better than boring real world real life reality !
Why Human’s Imagination is much better than […]
My friend had to talk me out of suicide last night. This is the 4th time this month. I love him so much and I don’t want to hurt him. He have saved me so many times and if I left that would be wasted time for him. He lives in Arizona and I’m from Illinois and I really want to meet him, I need to.
I’m feeling suicidal, idk what to do. I have no one to talk to. What should I do? Should I tough it out alone, I’m so sick of doing that. I need someone.
So I got my midterm back the other day. I bombed the thing with a 50%. Failing. Lovely. The teacher posted some extra credit, but I figured that it would just bring my grade up from an F to a D-. When my roommate asked if I did it, and I said no, he looked at me like I was a failure. So I decided to go ask my professor if I should stay in the class. He said yes and that I should do the extra credit. I couldn’t figure out how to do a problem and when I asked him for help he […]
I’m going to have to go to another school right after my regular school because of my depression and anxiety. I have no damn choice if I want to go or not. It’s not fair, I hate it. I have to wake up at 6:45 to get to my regular school at 7:15 I stay there until 2:30 and as soon as I get dismissed from my regular school, I’d have someone pick me up to take me to the other school (which is pretty far away) when I get there, I have more work to do and I don’t leave until 5:30 so then […]
i have never uttered a single word to anyone about what happened. i’ve been depressed about this lately, thinking that it was my fault. i know that this isn’t the pandora project, but i feel like it will somewhat help if i let someone know how i’m feeling because of my inability to speak.
i don’t understand what i did to you, for you to cause me all this worrying and suffering. you made me think that it was okay and that it was just a game. i’m disgusted with you and myself as well for being in that situation.
i pity you because of the terrible […]
18. Male. College student. Reality is difficult. I believe I have depression but I’m unsure. Resources are available, but I don’t tap into them. I am afraid. I’ve been rejected for what seems like an eternity, falling into a bottomless pit with nothing to grab onto, watching as everything rushes past me while I feel nothing. I feel no remorse, I feel no regret, just emptiness. I’m afraid of who I’ve turned into, of what I’ve transformed into. I can’t look in the mirror and see what once was a smiling, jovial young face. All I see now is a tired, wearisome, stressed young adult who […]
No family.
No hope.
No future.
Not gonna suddenly get rich.
Or win the lottery.
I just want to get it over with.
I don’t like being alive.
I hate being inferior and inadequate.
I want to go back to the land of the dead, where achievement doesn’t matter.
Your bank account doesn’t matter.
I just want to cash it all in.
I’d blow my brains out if I could.
Right here.
Wherever I’m standing.
Fuck this life.
hi, I’m just posting this to rant about my life, you don’t have to read this if you don’t want to read the ramblings of a 14-year old. it’s nice to have a website where I can vent my thoughts anonymously.
anyways, a few years before I was born my dad got arrested for a DUI, which is what my mother told me. he was a heavy drinker and he has bipolar disorder but I think he’s a bit better now. anyways, a while ago I was reading through some divorce papers and when I was about 2 years old, my dad walked up behind my […]
Letter to my mom.
Dear Mother,
I try to defend you to EVERYONE who said you were a terrible person.
I defended you even after you beat me and forced me to walk across town
to my grandparents neighborhood at 10 at night
i was in shorts and it was snowing out.
I am choosing to go get help for myself
and you tell me im “running from my problems”
I tell you that you can just lose me for 6 months to a year
or you can lose me for the rest of your life
and you call me a ***** and say
“suicide is stupid.”
i fucking hate you so much.
I will never defend you […]
I feel done. It’s this feeling of emptiness and loneliness. I don’t have any motivation to do anything. I’m so much more tired to do things. I just want to sleep all day. I don’t know why I feel this way. I just do. I can’t talk to anyone about it because my friends won’t understand and my parents will just say that I’m being dramatic.