I think I’m starting to cope a little better. It used to be that I’d get sucked completely under and nearly destroy myself in times like this. Then I got to the point where I could just wearily plod on with life, slow and difficult as the terrain is. The tide’s come in again, and I feel like garbage swirling in the sea, but I think this is the first time I haven’t been afraid of it. I can take a step back and think “This is just a sign I need to adjust some things; I only need to stay calm and find out […]
Category:
Stories of Hope
or maybe in march. I don’t feel save around here. People mix up my Medicine, Parents are stealing my Medicine and I am very in my Pension at age 23. As if People are living to now or then to hear what I do. It was once even worse but that means nothing.
Life is boring , Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring
by niki
written by niki
Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.
Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.
reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books
I […]
Hi! So, I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately, and I realised it’s been a little bit over a year since I first tried to commit suicide. I’ve experienced so many things, tried so many means of relief and just like I’d imagined nothing worked. Now, I’m more depressed and helpless than ever before.
They say it gets better, and so I used to think. I’ve been depressed as far as I can remember — I had my first major mental breakdown when I was 12, now I’m 19 soon to be 20. I used to think as I grew older, things would magically get […]
I needed someone to hear me. No one would listen. My mother ignored me when I told her I had been sexually abused by her stepfather. Then KNEW it was happening and turned a blind eye yet again as I was being Sexually assaulted by a “family friend”.
I started to break. As more adults discovered I was being molested and raped by this family friend and no one helped me. Adults who now wouldn’t let their daughters spend the night anymore but yet still didn’t, or wouldn’t, help me. The didn’t Stop it. Did not report it or talk to my parents. My Dad […]
I’m going to try to fix me. I know it will be hard. I know it will take a long time. But I have someone here to help me now.
I know it just seems like a band aid, a temporary fix. But maybe with enough time of the wound being covered it will heal.
I hope it does.
I probably won’t come on here again, at least not for a long time. Coming here and getting support and feeling less alone helps ease pain, but it does not remove it. I want to completely rid myself of this mindset. I want to change. To all of you […]
Whoever decides to read this?
I just want to say this post may piss you off. You may disagree with what I am going to say, I will not defend my argument. Some people might agree and thank you.
So where does this story begin?
Well let’s start from the beginning imagine your at school one day, you have a lot of friends, life is perfect for you. Everything is good. One day, you randomly get a call from a counselor saying that another student said you were going to kill your self. (I was a bit freaked out when I heard about this). My parents were worried […]
reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books
by niki
written by niki
reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books
I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !
I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime […]
All these people, they stare at me;
They aren’t my equal, but I’m no good:
I want to run far away, but cannot feel my legs;
And if there were a finch, I’d keep it if I could.
All these people, they make me insecure;
I cannot keep my mind on what I have to do
If everyone and everything hurts, and there’s no cure.
If only I had a single place; but one happy thing.
All these people don’t make any sense;
I’d rather talk to rust forming on a fence.
They prefer to lie about every little thing,
But that makes understanding hard to outward bring.
I wish that all these people would just give […]
I am writing this hoping that it will touch someone going through a hard time. I have struggled with chronic depression for a little over 10 years now. From self-inflicting harm to suicide attempts, I have had my fair share of ups and downs.
I also suffer from fibromyalgia, and those who can relate know how terrible it is. For a long time I would come home from work and/or school crying because I was in so much pain all the time. My grades were being affected, my social life was being affected, and more importantly my mental state was being affected. I finally decided to […]
I started taking this drug my psychologists prescribed me. I was initially very hesitant to try it since she said my skin could fall off ? (though the chances of it happening were very low –and if I saw any rashes in my skin to immediately go to the ER and it would not get to that point). But I had a horrible episode a few days ago. I spoke with my boyfriend, Eric, about it. I told him how I felt and why I wasn’t so open with him. I told him that I didn’t want to stress him out or to see him […]
i’ve been suicidal since i was 14, maybe 13, but my memory before my first attempt is blurry. i’m almost eighteen now.
i didn’t intend on making it this far, at all. i didn’t intend on living this long – ever getting a job – making it to my senior year of HS.
but, if you’re like me. it’s probably important to remember something my friend said to me.
“you shouldn’t deem yourself a failure whenever you fall down again, you’re still going, you’re still strong. Your illnesses aren’t you. You’re you; and that’s what matters.”
just a little more, okay?
Even though we cant talk to each other directly here. I feel safe here. I feel in the silence, a comradery.
I love reading the stuggles the goodbyes because i can relate so much to these entries and i just have nothing but love for you.
Even if you are a judge of me, i can relate and I’m grateful. Whatever comes… I’m just grateful for this silent hive where our honey is our words about our bloody battles of life, death, trauma, pain more than anyone else in the real world could ever handle. We can speak it here in complete truth and honesty without fear.
I’m […]
On July 14th, 2000, I survived being born.
On April 5th, 2003, I survived my first surgery.
In Spring 2009, I survived my entire grade hating me because of a rumour.
On February 8th, 2010, I survived my first suicide attempt.
On September 14, 2014, I survived my first day of high school.
On February 15, 2018, I survived my first break-up.
On May 23, 2018, I survived being knocked unconscious in the middle of a lake.
On July 11, 2018, I survived a severe inhalation of muratic acid.
If I can survive all that, what’s stopping me from going one more day?
So last week I made a post here saying that I’d commit suicide, but here I am. I tried to hang myself, but just as I was about to pass out I got up. It looks like I’m far too scared of dying to actually go through with it. I’m going to get a job, move out of my grandmother’s house and drink alcohol ’till I have the courage to finally do it. Sorry for the really long post guys. Also, if you’re suicidal like me you should seek help, I hate seeing people suffer like me, cya.
I want a healthy relationship. But part of opening up to someone is talking about wanting to die. Then this perverts the relationship with either a)flirting with the idea of a suicide pact or b)becoming its gravitational center. Has anyone else walked this line? Possibly even successfully?
Lyf starts getting bored when u just live for the sake of others… It is very difficult to sacrifice all ur wishes in-order to make others happy… This is what happening in my lyf… I seriously don’t know why its always me!!! Its been more than five years and now am fed up with this lyfstyle… Without being able share my feelings and problems to anyone am mentally distressed… I hate my lyf…. really really hate it!!!
Is the true way to heal to write, or to read.
Do you heal by sharing your trauma, or by listening to someone else’s.
So, Imma try and commit suicide today. I already have things ready, I’m only waiting for my grandmother to go out and it’s game over for me. Wish me luck, see you on the other side!
Heya, it’s been awhile since I posted on here.
So, a few weeks ago, I heard about this game that got released at the start of the year called Celeste. While it does have high difficulty, the relaxing music and encouraging words of the game help the player to persevere. But what really got to me was the way it handled dark subject matter such as anxiety and depression. Not just through the story and characters, but through the very MUSIC as well.
I’m not going to be reviewing the game in-depth here. Both because I don’t want to spoil anything for those who haven’t played it. […]