Stories of Hope

4

It’s funny how life works

  June 6th, 2017 by Sach77

Hey ya’ll

I’m not sure if anyone remembers me, because I only posted two times. But here I am again.

To catch up on my life currently, last August (august 1st 2016) I tried to kill myself, on July 29th I posted my goodbyes to the world on this site. Thankyou so much for the kind words that night. And well I took the pills I had (all but like 5 of them, because I ran out of water). And I lied down on the floor to die.

And yes, I did take enough to kill myself, and I would of died if I didn’t call 911. I …

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4

I did my first attempt today..

  June 5th, 2017 by GerbzBaby

Today I attempted to kill myself by overheating in the car. I drove to school, parked in the lot and didn’t get out. I was sitting in there for over an hour and a half. The only reason why I’m here now was because my best friend saved me. I texted him as I was sitting in the car telling him about how much I was sorry and how I appreciated him a lot for all he has done. I was practically telling him goodbye.. He got worried (I think as any other great friend would do in this situation) and asked me were I …

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5

Empty loneliness

  May 31st, 2017 by depresseddutchman93

Dear SuicideProject,

I have been struggling with rapid cycling bipolar now for almost 4 years.
These 4 years where the longest and worse years of my life.
I lost interest in hobbies lost allot of friends and ended up in a psychiatric communitie home with 24h nursing it sucks.
I have this small room to myself and im spending more and more time alone my old friends are all gone moving on starting families or building a nice career or future.
Now im here all alone stuck alone hopeless with no plan for a future I been suicidal now for a couple of weeks I just want to end it …

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1

I chose to live…

  May 28th, 2017 by N19W

I hope you are doing okay, and it is okay if you are not.

Sometimes I do not feel okay, and I almost ended my life because of it.

I have allowed myself to heal for three years before making the decision to share my story. This is not easy; the feeling of being vulnerable is hard to swallow, but I have accepted the social ramifications of allowing myself to open up publicly. I want to help others by sharing my experience because I know how it can feel to be alone. This piece carries a heavy trigger warning.

At some point, simple tasks became overwhelming and I …

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4

Out of sight Out of mind

  May 21st, 2017 by Baked13

It’s funny how the people you were closest to can forgot you so fast, move on like you were never here.

It’s somewhat comforting at the same time because I now know that when I leave, I’ll be forgotten just as fast.

I think about him everyday. He left me broken.

 

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2

What is reality?

  May 19th, 2017 by Alfred1688

As we try to survive in this world we live in

We seek out meaning for the life that was given

Some search for it their entire youth

Yet little find it or see the truth

Majority give up when all hope is lost

Others are consumed by the lies they came across

We all believe it gets better after it gets worse

But those words do not apply on this curse

Even if we tried to satisfy every need

There is no cure for one’s greed

It destroys us like a cancer

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6

Desire to be pregnant

  May 18th, 2017 by BlueDiamond

I haven’t been on here for a while because of work. My back sore from sweeping soil and my feet are forming blisters. Last night, I had a dream that I had two sons. Hopefully this is a prophecy, but highly not. I will never get my ducks in a row. Besides, I know people have hinted that I shouldn’t have kids. I can tell if I brought them into this world, people will be ready to tear them apart. I know they want me gone, they’re too much of a ***** to admit it.

I sometimes get baby fever. It can also get bad when …

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5

Another update

  May 10th, 2017 by SoVeryTired

Today I saw my psychiatrist. Eventually I told him what happened (well, nearly happened) on Saturday. He too, like my psychologist, immediately wanted to admit me. To his credit, he didn’t force me but respected my choice to not go back into hospital. He said that the situation was just short of where he would have been both legally obliged and able to force me into hospital, as in – if I had been in immediate danger.

He made it very clear that he would have much preferred if I went. But thanks to the trust we’ve built up over the years (he’s been treating me …

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5

I don’t remember this place

  May 9th, 2017 by brookethefox

Well apparently, this is the second time around. I came looking for relief and ended up gaining more fear and confusion. Let me explain…

I’m currently struggling with a lot. I’m severely depressed and am afraid to go to a doctor to be diagnosed or medicated. I mean, my mom’s a psych nurse, for Christ’s sake. She’d know if there was something wrong with me, right? I can’t bear to face her for fear of her sending me to the ward. How embarrassing would that be for her?

I’ve had nights where I can’t sleep, just dreams of me finding happiness in finding a loose razor or …

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11

fight it

  May 8th, 2017 by sailorsfight

I am 26 years old, sailor by profession. I am a very shy and let alone type of a guy, had problems making friends as a child. As i grew up i became even more emotional and sensitive. People say i am smart but i dont feel like it, I think i am average. I think i am a kind and a good hearted person but i do get evil thoughts at times and i have to fight to get them out telling myself “those are bad thoughts”. Since my teenage days i have had suicidal thoughts. I have been in ” in love” situations …

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8

I need help

  May 8th, 2017 by peachmuffin143

I was a bit sceptical about this site at first. Then I read every post and thought to myself that I’m not alone. I was desperate to fix everything. I was hurt to see others hurt. I tried my best to help them and in the mean time I struggle with own troubles. I HATE to say this…but I HATE that particular person. And I HATE myself for hating her. I hate that I have to admit that I’m weak….I’m insecure. I hate everything. I live for years coping with anxiety and depression.

I met with several counsellors in my life. Now I’m 20 years old …

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2

Prison Earth

  May 6th, 2017 by BlueDiamond

I like to imagine Earth as a giant prison, and God or these angels placed our souls into these advance prison uniforms called bodies. These bodies are hideous. Trapped between these gooey organs, and water, covered by soft fleshy pink skin. I once remember having eagle vision, gather all the scents from a single galaxy, and finding a soulmate was much easier because when I was free, we were all full of love, and with our strong bonds, the sex felt a thousands times orgasmic than on earth. No longer does the food taste good on Earth, since I remember, but this suit and the …

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2

broke down and cried..

  May 5th, 2017 by death bunny

my kid was taking his afternoon nap, my girlfriend was smoking outside, and this gut clenching feeling came to me as so often. only this time i went to the bedroom, got my pillow and went to my study, dropped the pillow on the floor and laid my head on it. and then i exploded. this scenario might sound odd, but if you’re living in circles like me, sometimes you have to do odd things to break them, so i just learned.

back when i got my diagnosis, depression’s all i had. before my kid was born, and before i met my girlfriend. back then i …

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7

chapters

  May 1st, 2017 by Addiictivetragedy

Ever since I was a little girl I always asked questions about my little sister.. The sister my mother gave up for adoption. Our mother was a drug addict who chose men over her kids and is STILL continues doing drugs. my life was very rough but I was always the type to wish for a happily ever after… So I made excuses after excuses for my mom. She got pregnant not to long after she gave my sister up for adoption but abused pills which led to a stillborn.. My other baby sister Seirra (May she Rest with the angels) … My mother then …

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6

WHY is it so FU(£ING difficult to LOG IN HERE!???

  April 24th, 2017 by bobbywylie

I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!

There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????

 I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how

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1

I Will Overcome !

  April 23rd, 2017 by Addiictivetragedy

Mind like quicksand, but I try to stay above land.
Kaleidoscope of different scenarios. Life falling in a burial. Heart broken like shattered glass, not healing no mater how much time has passed. Haunted dreams every night, becoming weaker after every fight. Can’t distinguish what is real or in my head, every night laying on my deathbed. Anxiety, bipolar and PTSD, is slowly overpowering me.
Suicidal Thoughts but I’m afraid of death, continuous thoughts of how I will lose my last breath. Anxious, anxious all the time, but with meds they tell I’ll be just fine. Irritable, angry, sadden and scared, all through my mind like a …

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1

Blossom

  April 23rd, 2017 by Addiictivetragedy

You used your words, I used my heart. I became unheard, you became a dart. I reached out, you pushed away. I started to doubt but I was forced to stay.
Growing a flower, supposed to be a blessing. but you had the power. And I was left stressing..
Far from family , no one but you,
Loss of gravity, my hatred grew.
You where supposed to be my happy ending, but this chapter was just beginning.
My flower blossomed, she is so beautiful, I became cautioned, you grew so pitiful. Yelling and abusing, but with no bruising. I tried to flee, your family didn’t agree.. threatened like a thief …

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0

Battle Scars: 2017 Update

  April 16th, 2017 by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Today commemorates eight months since I have gotten the urge to turn to this forum. At my last visit, I was broken, and quite humorously, at this visit, broken no longer can summate my existence. In exactly one year, I have had few victories and so much pain and deception that I have crawled back into the safety of my introvercy. Since my last visit, (when I was a 18 year old bum, not attending school) I have made some progression. I currently work, go to school and volunteer regularly but my battle scars are still present, Scars that refuse to heal, scars which threaten …

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1

What makes me move on?

  April 14th, 2017 by kellinandrew

I am here to tell you one thing. Death isn’t my solution, it is my hideaway spot. The place I dream about when things get bad, the place I think about when I want to end things, but cant bring myself to do it. I find it comforting to dream about what could be if I died, but then it begins to scare me, it begins to make me feel alone, and sometimes I don’t know what to do. How to handle life, how to keep going. Im so tired of struggling, so tired of living off of nothing, having to rely on others, I …

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0

I’m Back

  April 14th, 2017 by kellinandrew

I haven’t posted in a while, I dont know why.. But I have a story to tell. I was looking for my sleeping pills, my Trazadone,  when I found my moms Phenobarbital, which is a hypnotic. I used to be addicted to a lot of drugs, more than I ever thought possible. I broke those habits two years ago when I was 15, now I have fallen back into them. I have become dependent on these pills and I am trying to stop, but at first I didnt see a point, yes it can kill me, yes its hurting me. But maybe I was wrong. I …

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