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Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

Coming Clean

by InhalingAnxiety
written by InhalingAnxiety

I had an account on here before, which I started a few months back. A little over a month ago, I had an extremely bad breakdown that lead me to attempt suicide (I had been thinking of it for awhile but many little things pushed me to it). I posted on here to say goodbye to everyone and apologize for wasting their time in reading my posts and trying to help me. I didn’t see any way in my life recovering, since the stack of shit just kept getting bigger and masked the few good things I had left. I was obviously unsuccessful in my […]

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General anxiety and restlessness

by disgusting
written by disgusting

I’m axious about life in general. Not in a bad way so much as, I never in a million years thought I would live this long! I grew up thinking I’d be dead by 20. I had a kid that I gave up in a private adoption at that point. Tomorrow is her 17th burthday. One more year and it’s legal to have contact, that is, if we find each other. I never thought I’d be alive when she turns 18. Which means I have to survive another year. I can’t believe I’m still alive on this day to see her 17th birthday arrive. She […]

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LivingHell

by NoHopeShay
written by NoHopeShay

I’ve been through it all.. it started when I started high school to when I lost my first boyfriend. I tried overdosing on Pain Killers nothing happened… nothing ever happens. I try to hang myself.. over 10 times and it always end up to me taking it off my neck and being weak about it. Because in all reality who really wants to die right? We just want the pain to end. But it doesn’t last. But Lately I’ve been letting this whole suicide thing get to me. I’m literally thinking about doing it tomorrow and succeeding. I don’t know what else to do. This […]

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How to cope…..?

by EvilOni22
written by EvilOni22

Ok, so suicidal thoughts linger. Will they ever totally dissipate? Perhaps or perhaps not. I don’t really know. If I had to say, I would lean towards they will lighten but never just go away. Once you learn know or relaize something, it’s not like you can just purposely unknow or unrealize it. The partial truth behind ingnore is bliss. So with acceptance of the fact I may never be able to fully revert from suicidal thoughts and desires leads me to the question of what can I do to cope with them? My mind running on the topic of ways to kill myself and […]

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This World is Rotten and Filled With Rotten People

by arik
written by arik

If life is typified by the apple, then at its core festers a great rot that eats it from within. A rot that has been ignored far too long.

I will create a world that is filled with kind people, even if it means I have to be the only monster left.

I do not care whether you are man or woman. I do not care what the colour of your skin is. I do not care what your beliefs are. The instant you step on the life of another, the moment you take advantage of another human being, much less bring them to the brink of […]

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Hey Guys!

by Take a Deep Breath
written by Take a Deep Breath

Hello everyone!  I’m a newbie to this website, and I figured I should post a little something about me- so here goes nothing.  I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was in seventh grade.  Ever since I was small, I has hyperaware of everything around me, spooking at the drop of a hat.  This really fried my nerves, and I became even more introverted than I already was.  I was also very ill as a child. I was constantly sick to my stomach, my limbs constantly trembled, exhaustion clouded my every turn, and I was an insomniac.  My parents knew little to nothing […]

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I just want peace.

by IFeelSoLost
written by IFeelSoLost

There are some things about life that I absolutely love.
There’s hope in my heart that things will get better.
But I know that’s just wishful thinking.
I’m ready to leave this place behind and see what’s waiting for us on the other side.
I’ve hurt so many people that were nothing but good to me, I know this will hurt them more but at least It will be the last time.
I’m scared but excited I don’t know if i’m strong enough to go through it all again.
I’ve over dosed and ended up in hospital twice.
Most recent was two days ago.
I’m […]

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Let me go

by lostsoul609
written by lostsoul609

I have bad anxiety and suffer from depression. I don’t know why God has chosen this life for me. I want out of this life but I know it’ll greatly impact the people around me. I worry mostly about my mom and my siblings because I know they’ll be affected the most. But I’m tired of taking everyone into consideration I’m not happy and I want out! I’m tired of waking up and faking a smile just to make other people think that I’m okay when I’m really suffering inside. Today I was going to drown myself and just as I get ready to step […]

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trans;

by ginasfs
written by ginasfs

this reminds me of a book i read, a website similar to this. im glad i have somewhere to vent. i just wonder why no methods are allowed to be shared, it honestly would’ve been nice. but back to the juicy stuff. i am a transgender boy in iowa. ive attempted suicide once before. parents never took me to therapy or got me on antidepressants. i came out to my parents via an email from my school. fun. they said they support me, but have not used proper pronouns, name, or discussed me being on testosterone. (i dont even know if i spelled that right.) […]

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I wanted out

by BlondeWig
written by BlondeWig

The day I attempted, I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn’t care who was hurt and who would be a complete mess if I actually did die. I wanted out. For weeks before I was under so much stress from my mother. Everything was always my fault. Everything. The night before I attempted, I stayed out til 4 am with my boyfriend having one of the best nights in my life. When I finally came home, with 1% on my phone battery, I was locked out. She locked me outside in the downpour thunderstorm, frozen cold.

I managed to get my phone one long enough to […]

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Tired

by whydoiwantto
written by whydoiwantto

I’m tired of feeling like this every day. I keep waiting for the right time, that will hurt my family the least. In between birthdays. Far away from home. I wish it was simpler, that I could make my choice and fuck all the consequences. But I have this huge guilt about leaving my friends and family, especially my brothers and my mom.

 

I have had many failed attempts and this has hurt my family. I want to ensure everything is successful next time. I think obsessively about methods and timing, around 10-30 times a day. I’m on anti depressants but they don’t help. The only […]

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so here’s my life story

by Annie
written by Annie

3 years since i last posted
Hi, I’m Annie, resident fuck up of phoenix arizona. But then again, we do have someone shooting up a highway here (in my honest opinion, i think it’s a part of the gun control movement. Shoot people and make them scared of guns, gets more people to orgasm over gun control.)
I used to post on here all the damn time as a 12-14 year old, I made friends on here that i never kept. It was like our own little community of fucked depressed people.
I don’t know how I remembered this website, but I am glad I […]

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There Is No Light

by v.c.333
written by v.c.333

I have been passively suicidal all my life.  I know, some say there is no way, but I remember wanting to die  at 7.  I was not abused overly much.  My dad a little to harsh with corporal punishment.  My mom never said I was stupid, but she always gave me a look or used a tone that said I was stupid.  I guess she had no patience. idk.  I was always depressed. Borderline personality I was told once, but never stuck with therapy.  I have had more jobs and sexual encounters than I can remember.  I just can’t stick with anything.  Then get all […]

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My Story

by smilingcrying
written by smilingcrying

Hi! I’m going to remain anonymous but I’m a 13-year-old bigender person who has never really been happy. I doubt I’ll ever post here again because I have other places to vent (where I’ve posted this, but I feel really bad so I’m gonna write it again. For some reason it makes me feel better), and I prioritize those places. Anyway, here is me.

I was born to my dating high-school-sweethearts mother and father. They lived with my mom’s mother for two years after that before getting an apartment together (with me, of course). They didn’t love each other anymore. My dad says they weren’t even […]

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Eleven Years

by ephemeropteron
written by ephemeropteron

It was on this day eleven years ago that I decided to die. I was seventeen, and while I won’t violate policy by stating my method, the short story is that it was ineffective.

Ever since I was 12 or so, living has quite simply felt wrong. But I dealt with it. This fundamental issue was exacerbated by an issue that arose soon after. I had a really good friend, but every time she had a boyfriend, I got ridiculously jealous. Oddly enough, I always found a way to explain away my feelings. When similar situations arose in subsequent years, I concocted all kinds of ridiculous […]

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Final Post: punk in drublic, and suicide as a pre and postmortem message

by Disposable Human
written by Disposable Human

Through separation and divorce I have lost everything other than court appointed contact with my family: the ex-wife/best friend, my son, my 2 dogs. It feels like the work I’ve done to try and make this all come together as a family was for nothing. And it was.

Two weeks ago, I shot .375 grams of pure crystal meth into my arm and gave myself tachycardia but died slowly enough for the doctors to save me.

Monday, my legal benzo analogues came in the mail. They’re like xanax on steroids. I took a couple handfuls (that stopped my heart) and then woke up today with no memory […]

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There’s always a reason

by debz85
written by debz85

It was around 7 years ago I tried to end it all, I was a single mum and couldn’t cope anymore. I was lucky as my parents would have my daughter over night once every two weeks so I could go out. I loved to go out and drink and drink until I felt numb, I abused myself and my body I let men use me for sex. One night though I’d just had enough I couldn’t do it anymore I couldn’t live with myself for what I was doing i was drinking everyday I never ate I smoked weed aswell. People started judging me […]

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