Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

I am glad another day is behind me

by cksalem 4/12/2011

written by cksalem

Well, I hate my life as usual.Â Â I am glad that I made it through today.Â Â I watched my young daughter sleeping in my lap.Â Â She wiggled about and I studied her quite a bit.Â Â I felt ashamed for her shameful rocky start to life.Â Â I never understood cutting oneself until for what ever reason I did it myself just over a year ago.Â Â I cut my entire leg from the ankle to just above the knee.Â Â I did it over and over until I just decided to stop.Â Â Of course, I was too ashamed to get stiches so I left the larger cuts heal […]

4/12/2011 2 comments

Better off without me

by cksalem 4/11/2011

written by cksalem

Hi.Â I am going to a therapist tomorrow to see if I can find a new “person” for me to be.Â Â I spoke to a counsellor at my work and she asked me how long has it been since I have felt like myself and happy.Â I had told her that I could not remember truthfully.Â Â We both shared a laugh when I said that I will just haveÂ to find a new person toÂ strive to be.Â Â Â Â I decided long ago and after careful research that I will die of hanging.Â Â Â I have plannned it all out for a long while.Â This planÂ includes Â home improvement and fixing […]

4/11/2011 5 comments

Why, The Reason

by Anon. 4/10/2011

written by Anon.

I’m in love with my best friend’s girlfriend. Like madly in love.
I’m also going out with his ex, but I lied to him about it and lied to my girlfriend that I told him. They know and so does his girlfriend, they are willing to give me another chance but his girlfriend has lost so much respect for me but is willing to give me a chance.
I’ve tried to commit suicide once before but I woke up the next morning throwing up.
Everyone is loved, but I really don’t feel it

4/10/2011 12 comments

When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep

by molliecellon 4/5/2011

written by molliecellon

Hi. I stumbled across this site last night while not being able to sleep. I don’t know why I’m here, but I wanted to sign up regardless.
I’m a 19 y/o female living in a house with my mum and my brother, who is 16, in Australia. I have things that so many other people in the world do not. We have our own house, have food in the cupboards and a bedroom each. We love and support each other in our own dysfunctional ways. I see my dad regularly and have a good relationship with him.
I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was […]

4/5/2011 7 comments

Dear Friends

by fellowsufferer 4/4/2011

written by fellowsufferer

to Rocky, I don’t know if you’re alive but I’m gonna miss you regaurdless. you always were just incredible in general. you are the greatest guy I’ve ever known and I’m gonna miss your radical comments. do good friend.

To Justathought, I don’t know what’s happening with you, but I can’t stay here any longer. no I’m not dying. I’m moving on, and I wish more than anything that you could have my place, but that’s not in my power. I Love you, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had in life. I’ll try and visit every so often, and Justathought, I will always be praying […]

4/4/2011 2 comments

some inspiration and happiness.

by Amofaze 4/4/2011

written by Amofaze

A bit too gloomy here for my taste.

To anyone who thinks they have it bad.

click here.

4/4/2011 0 comment

I Won’t Quit

by tryingtohangon 4/3/2011

written by tryingtohangon

I used to think that I should just give up and quit. To be honest, that was all of five minutes ago. I was ready to break down and die, leaving everything and everyone I tried to support alone. I mean, I was supporting my family, my boyfriend, myself, just a lot of people. I felt like the only person who even bothered to support me was God. I was ready to give up everything I had worked for and just lay down and die. Instead, I mustered up my courage and called a crisis hotline. I didn’t want them to call an ambulance (I […]

4/3/2011 3 comments

Cage of Fire

by Latika 3/31/2011

written by Latika

With every step that I take

I rattle those

fiery bars.

Burning through the air,

slices down my heart!

Looking deep inside

I see you there

in my arms!

Oh, what a joyous feeling I get,

but its buried alive!

I’ll never see your face

and never brush your arm

never get those kisses

that I

so adored!

Oh, what is this hurt

thats burning me inside

escapes through my throat

hoping that I die!

3/31/2011 1 comment

Wishing

by Latika 3/30/2011

written by Latika

All i wished:

to hear your voice,

to touch those lips

sweet and moist.

All i wished:

to say your name,

inhale your scent,

ignite this flame.

All i wish:

to pop these pills,

to say goodnight,

for a final thrill.

All i wish:

to have you say

loves not gone,

you feel the same.

3/30/2011 15 comments

dealing with the loss of my father and brother

by jjalkaline 3/29/2011

written by jjalkaline

the thoughts never subside, and he still haunts me.

3/29/2011 3 comments

To those who think they are alone in pain.

by Latika 3/29/2011

written by Latika

To all of you who have experienced heart ache, disappointment, abuse in multiple forms, and raised in drug centered families. I know you. Not personally, but emotionally. I was suicidal since I was Â a toddler, but at that point my actions weren’t consider to be that of a depressed child. Doctors said I was just a frustrated child with pent up energy because i wanted to hurt everyone, including myself. I was too young to realize what it is i felt and why.

Growing up my dad wasn’t there, mom said he was a work-aholic, while he says she was a drug addict. Both were true. […]

3/29/2011 2 comments

Motherhood

by Latika 3/28/2011

written by Latika

They never knew

and never saw

the endless fear

engulfing us all.

A fear that stuck

and stained like ink,

rich with worry,

lies and deceit.

She lied to me

and also to you,

knowing we were all

just empty fools.

Willing to ignore,

forget, and abuse

that happiness she once knew.

She gave and gave,

while i just took.

A little fool

who was easily shook.

She finally gave

one last time,

but instead gave herself

that bloody line.

Across the throat

and down her wrists

my mother left

without a kiss.

3/28/2011 2 comments

As it is.

by Latika 3/28/2011

written by Latika

The days blur,

blessed with dreams,

dreams of you

with dreams of me.

Those dreams aren’t real.

Those dreams are false.

They always come

but at what cost?

The cost of blood,

the cost of pain.

The haze is fading,

and so i pay.

I paid the cost

and now I’m lost.

Forever wandering,

forever washed

ashore that empty

lonesome beach,

that some may call

eternal sleep.

3/28/2011 2 comments

I finally tried

by foolycooly 3/28/2011

written by foolycooly

I had an exit bag, but I didn’t have the helium so I just tried to slowly suffocate myself. I kept trying to focus and stick with it but I guess the panic got to me in the end, I don’t really remember. I could barely get up afterwards with a huge headache and a lot of dizziness and I threw up. I guess I’ll have to try harder next time or something else. I’m tired of the pain and I just want to die. I can’t even do that properly it seems.

3/28/2011 5 comments

Suicide is out of reach

by KevinThorn 3/22/2011

written by KevinThorn

Hey, I feel bad about posting on here, mostly because im not a druggy or have a particularly bad life. Im a 19 year old college student with a loving family. That being said i do hate myself and haveÂ triedÂ to kill myself numerous times. I cut myself every other week or so, always in hidden areas like shoulders orÂ thighsÂ and always disinfected with rubbing alcohol at least 2 times a Â day until they heal over. Ive taken every type of anti depressant possible, seen over 20 psychiatrists/councilors and I never seem to feel better. It feels like ive been given so much, but i can do […]

3/22/2011 1 comment

I Need You..

by Skrattt315 3/22/2011

written by Skrattt315

Hey Guys..

It’s me again. I forgot to tell you my name last night. It’s Ashlie. I’m from California. And right now I really need some help. My mother and I got in a huge fight today at dinner, because I’ve been beingÂ harassedÂ at school. Some kid threw a syringe at me in 1st period and told me that I was nothing better than a junkie. And over the past two weeks, the same kid and many more of his friends have been touching me and just being complete ass holes. I guess I’m writing to anyone who’s willing to listen because I’m really feeling like […]

Continue Reading

3/22/2011 7 comments

0 Email

Just Another Statistic..

by Skrattt315 3/21/2011

written by Skrattt315

I’ve been through it all. I’m not kidding. Sit down and read this. I’m not a fake. I’m 15 years old and surprised as hell that I made it past 13. Since I was 12, I’ve been through rapes, murders, suicides, jails,Â hospitals, addictions, heartbreak,prostitution, eating disorders, honestly, everything. (If I left something out that you’re struggling with, let me know.) I’m currently still cutting. And I just got out ofÂ JuvenileÂ Hall about 3 weeks ago, for the fifth time. The last time I cut was yesterday. I’ve thought about suicide everyday for the last 4 years. I wake up and think of ways to die. I […]

Continue Reading

3/21/2011 4 comments

0 Email

Just me

by Bunny 3/17/2011

written by Bunny

When I was around 6 years old I was molested for about 3 years by my neighbour. Both my parents would be at work so I’d have to spend hours at their place. She’d tie me down onto a bed or a chair or pin me to the floor and brutilise me with household objects and afterwards would always threaten that if I told anyone she’d hurt me a lot more and no one could stop her. Being so young and stupid, I was scared to tell anyone, afraid that she’d keep her promise

My parents were completly ignorant to this, probably that my dad wouldn’t […]

Continue Reading

3/17/2011 8 comments

0 Email

Hope.

by Bella16693 3/16/2011

written by Bella16693

I was sexually abused at a young age for a period of time. I’m now 18 years old and through out my childhood/teenage years I found it hard to trust people, I am also depressed for as long as I can remember. I met my boyfriend at the age of about 12 and after 3 years I trusted him enough to start a relationship. This relationship last 2 years, I was in some parts of my life content because of my relationship. In August 2009 I found out my boyfriend hadÂ been sleepingÂ Â with another girlÂ for 2-3 months starting in April. I was devasted. I forgave him. […]

Continue Reading

3/16/2011 5 comments

0 Email

the poison of blood

by darkbloodsuicidalhoe69 3/14/2011

written by darkbloodsuicidalhoe69

the poison of blood
oh my wonderful drug
of poisonous blood
of pain

as i take the knife
all my tools are here

digging in deeper
clawing at the skin

i take a shaking hand
scarred , bruised and dripping crimson

i smile weakly at the long,sharp,claws

and dip them into my throat
as i try to rip out my life

any decency i once had…
shattered,faded,destroyed

its the poison of blood..
as it drips down my neck

i swirl my fingers around, dyeing them in scarlet

i lick the blood and tears

i want more

i want more…

i want it to be over

and too be never ending pools of poison

as i grab the […]

Continue Reading

3/14/2011 0 comment

0 Email

Newer Posts

Older Posts