Following up on someone else’s post:

Therein lies the problem- our society is fundamentally “broken.” It doesn’t work for the masses, it doesn’t work for the working poor. But Americans are brainwashed to think everything is fine and great in America- and if you DARE complain about anything it’s always met with “then move and leave the country!” or “look at Africa, we have it SO much better, how dare you complain!”

Nobody fucking thinks we should FIX a problem instead of just “leaving the country”?? How do you think we have Child Labor Laws? By saying, “if you don’t like it, move!”? […]

I’ve made a lot of progress so far but I still have a long way to go. Although I won’t think of taking any drastic steps anymore, I sometimes still find myself looking in that direction sometimes. I fear that my drastic step will cause a chain reaction, bringing more shame to my mom than ever. My brother will blame himself and might do something to himself. My mom has already tried attempting suicide decades ago. With me and my brother hypothetically gone, my mom might think she doesn’t have a purpose to be in this world anymore. So it feels like there is a […]

O’ fellow SP’ers… We’re unable to live proper normal happy lives, and also unable to die. Just what do we do with ourselves?

My dearest Daughter,

I’m sorry for the tragedies in the past several years, many of them my fault.

Below is a list of my sorries:

I’m sorry that I fought with your mom all those years.
I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to keep brother alive.
I’m sorry for having depression and anxiety and not being a father to you.
I’m sorry for embarrassing you in public with my anxiety/panics.
I’m sorry for making others around you in public feel awkward because I have crooked eyes, high-pitched voice and other unattractive attributes.
I’m sorry for being the black sheep of my family.
I’m sorry that you had to see how law enforcement treats/abuses me.
I’m […]

I’ve been going to therapy for nearly 30 years at this point, long enough that I’ve done therapy with every modality and philosophical bent. One particular therapist had a pillow on his couch that said; “if it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.” I don’t remember him being particularly Freudian in any other way, so it might have been a joke.

That joke being that in Freudian therapy, it almost always comes back to the mother for young men. I remember when I was covering it in college and I found out that part of why Freud is less taken seriously now is that his approach […]

Reddit: Modern life is complete garbage

Modern life is complete garbage.
by inTrueOffMyChest

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If a puppy gets kicked and abused repeatedly by a human, it learns to distrust and hate humans. It reacts by being aggressive or shrink away from humans. It isolates and becomes a loner. It learns to bite and bark, and becomes an aggressive dog.

Much is the same way for humans. If humans from an early age are abused and neglected, it learns to distrust humans, it becomes a loner, self-isolates. It has a hard time trusting other humans, has trouble forming bonds, becomes angry and bitter, at the world, at life. And obviously depressed.

And what if […]

I remember bleeding for someone for years. And they never cared. And it was all a lie. See them for what they really are and they will show themself to you at once. Yeah that really answers the question……

The whole point was to find each other. Now you are both dead. And when I am dead we will all be together again in the spirit world. So the only entire point really of this life was that we found each other, even though we met with tragic end. The whole point was that. So that we can be together forever after that, in the spirit world! And you got to spend 9 years together. But fuck this place. Let’s all be in the spirit world together. We couldn’t exactly be in the spirit world together forever if we had not met in this […]

I made this name cuz I kept thinking of it-the lyrics- from the Smashing Pumpkins song that says that. A singer died. Suicide Silence. He said that music will get you through anything, he promises. Music won’t get me through this. It isn’t changing anything. I also made this name because of a former post I think I titled this as I have been using this site for like ten years now although set it aside. This is my new account. Now this means it is for both of you, not just one. (love is suicide).

Wouldn’t it be nice if our coping methods are exercising, cleaning, or just being productive? I knew someone who used to clean so that isn’t really a “good” thing bc it gets out of hand and it’s obsessive. But exercising seems good. And being productive seem good.

When I was younger and healthy, my coping mechanism was to exercise. It wasn’t to the point of obsessive or extreme- but I did exercise a lot, and it did let off a lot of steam. Like kickboxing kind of exercise. Lifted weights. Running for hours. I would exercise 3-4x a week, about […]

My mind is so chaotic. I have no idea what’s going on. I hate it. Yesterday I was at a train station, and I looked at the tracks and I just wanted to go down there and walk until I got hit by a train. But I didnt. And when I was on the train I cried a little. While I was walking home, I felt sad because of how lonely I am and I thought that if literally anyone came up to me I would talk to them. Then someone came running in my direction to catch a bus and I just ignored them […]

It was a late Saturday night in February
People were home, it was quiet for a weekend
We had just fought over something i don’t even remember
There goes my short term memory loss again
I feel alone even when im not
I tried to make amends but you wouldn’t have it
So i took a walk
I didn’t think you noticed i was gone
All i could think about was the train tracks across the street
I was disassociating again
Walked down near the barrier, only 2 cars passed by
I was 2 steps away from the tracks when a train sped by
I […]

I’ve been lied to
Time only makes things worse
Nothing makes me happy anymore
No person, or pet, food, hobby, or amount of money
And I don’t know who’s crazy anymore
Is it me, is it all of them?
I even feel like my own family is crazy
It’s a scary feeling
Knowing that you and everyone around you is fucking insane
Not trusting in them anymore
Not trusting yourself
Suicide is the only option for me
I’ve decided that a long time ago
I don’t know why I’m still even here
I’m not a good person
I don’t deserve anything good
All i ask […]

my life has been going rather fine! we moved into a new house and i’ve been helping out a lot with home improvement stuff and cleaning out our yard and planting stuff! i got a garden growing and some flowering blooming.. we have so many plans for this house.. it’s overwhelming, but in a fun way. me and my brother seem to stay out of eachother’s way, but he’s still an asshole time to time, but that’s it.
but another thing always comes again to ruin it.
about two years ago, i went through a breakup over call when i was venting to my […]

I don’t know what to really do anymore.

I’ve driven the person I love into the arms of the perfect man for her, her words not mine.

I’m needing to find a new place to live.

I need more money or else I won’t afford anything at all.

So many things all at once. I can’t deal with this anymore.

Going back home is not an option. It will make things worse.

And yet, what the hell else can I do? I really don’t know anymore.

I can barely hold myself together. Maybe I should just get rid of everything I worked for to this point to be able to afford some […]

It can’t be just me. Sure I have my issues, but WTF is wrong with people these days? People lash out at you like 2 year old’s over something so insignificant and they go apeshit over nothing. Tonight it’s some game guild member throwing a temper tantrum over a lost award chest. It’s a daily task among dozens of other tasks, so it’s literally no biggie.

Another time it was this lady at McDonalds who had an issue with me blowing my nose bc it was winter and I had a runny nose. I was sitting alone in a […]

So I was playing this game which involves 3 people joining an “adventure” to kill the boss. I’ve done adventure level 9 SO many times and killed all the towers, but for some reason I was unable to tonight, even though I’ve done it FORTY times in the past. I did level up some skins/skills and maybe that threw the balance off the team, who knows.

Anyhow, this ASSWIPE 1- decides to leave the adventure even though he had THREE whole moves left, and the other guy had one move left so the both of them could still have killed the boss even though […]

This guy only talks about males and lack of deep friendships but this applies to BOTH males and females. IDK why everyone ignores the problems that females have too, especially the tomboys like me who don’t fit in with the girls.

I’ve never been part of a tribe, never been accepted by a pack, nor surrounded by ppl who cared about me, so i have no idea what that even feels like. We die from loneliness. We get physically sick from loneliness. Knowing and feeling that NO ONE cares about us is one of the shittiest feelings in the world.

It’s a sad […]