Hello everyone… This is my first post. It’s good to see that there is a forum dedicated to our shared interest. I’m not depressed or impulsive, but I think often about the topic of taking my own life. I’m a young 54 years old. I’m actually successful by most standards. I own my own car, my own home, two small businesses, and I enjoy composing music and singing, exercising, and eating healthy. I don’t smoke, drink, or take drugs. I’m in good health, pain-free, and debt-free.

I loved the story of Lisette Gabrielle Nigot in Mademoiselle and the Doctor. Her story really touched my heart. I […]

But there is no easy way to go !!
At best, with a train I have less chance to miss myself if I only put my head and not the body over the track.
But I dont want to disapear and leave a melon head exploded behind…
And poison is too painfull apperently !! Sad because I have a mortal plant that I could eat, but again it’s too painfull…
Jumping from high enough would be hard, there is no high enough arround here even in the big city… And I will end like with the train, a smashed thing on the floor. So pretty…

***To: IDREAMOFPEACEFULSUICIDE <3, My Comment to Your First Post***

hey! i wrote You a comment but your post is no longer there

if You’re not comfortable on this site, it’s okay, & i understand

please just read what i wrote here

& let’s talk about this either here or You can e-mail me

[farahlajeennouraldeen.1@gmail

.com],

okay:

heyyy
: (
kind soul i’m sooo sooooo sorry for all You’ve been
through
i truly truly am
You don’t deserve anyyy of this

You describe a lot of injustice and attacks directed at
You
& my heart is with You through this in every way, i
swear i mean it

i just think it’s really important that we […]

lethal death.
deadly death.
death death death
death death death death.

i hope you hate my poem.
this is my peak form.

I just want to go. Can’t handle all this misery… 🙁
Seems I can’t add a title to posts on my phone anymore. Not sure about my computer, haven’t tried it.
🙁

Does anyone here live in New York? I really need to talk to someone (no pro lifers please.)

Tragedy is in the morning hours when we awake. Tragedy is when we realise that our long aspirations were worlds away from what fate granted us: dysmal cognitive processing, genetic disorders, mood disorders. I suppose let us brew a soup from bad luck… Don’t you think? Let’s call it ‘destiny’s pot of spoiled goods’.

Charles Bukowski famously stated ‘I can make a cup of coffee, or kill myself’. And then, apart from the nihilism trap, there is the gossamer memories of our youth. Oh, how we truly belonged. Lest we forget the bicycle rides to Gran’s flat only a couple of blocks away. The joy of […]

im not sure how im still here. in the past, i lived for someone else, now im just living only because im scared of pain. ive noticed myself stopping and thinking whenever in a social situation that it wouldnt make a difference if i was there or not, i will be grieved for a few weeks, mentioned here and there, but life will go on.

1 of my top 5 fav albums to drive to when my thoughts get wild. Theyre so loud in this 1 that it keeps my voices at bay. Plus every song has a great beat.

When I was 5 years old my entire 4th grade class yelled out
“We hope you die”
“You are going to die alone”
“Fine, I will do it. Happy!”
“Yeah don’t show up tomorrow!”

Its been 17 years since I was born, my orginal personality or me died that very night. Can you imagine a 5yr old having to decide that action and actually follow through with it… The trama was so great that the only memory I have is the knife falling but never reaching and waking up 3 months later with no one aware of my actions that night. I went […]

I feel like I’m on the verge of falling. I can’t hold on to this rope anymore. I’m tired. Perhaps. It’s about time. I should let it go. It’s time already.

We all die alone. More or less. Maybe someone is there to hold your hand at the end. But you are alone in experiencing death. It’s scary, but it’s the same for everyone.

What I’m doing is living alone, for however long I live, and that fact makes me so much sadder. I will never connect with anyone. I will never care for anyone. I will never let anyone into my life. If I live a normal lifespan, no one will come to my funeral.

It’s such a waste. But I just can’t. I can’t be real with anyone, ever. I can’t be ‘myself’, because ‘myself’ is […]

I’m not excited for the future.

All I am is terrified of what’s to come. And it feels like I’m dying.

Broken

I feel broken every single day. My life was perfect in every way and then 2 years ago my life tumbled around me for no apparent reason. The details are not that important but everything collapsed. After a lie detector to prove my innocence in something and doing everything I possibly could, it was still questioned and flatly not believed.  I woke up in April 2020 and realised that there was actually no way that I wanted to live this silly life any longer. That I just wanted the pain to go away and I didnt know how apart from just not being around anymore.  […]

This is going to be a rant, I have nobody to blame but myself. As a preteen/teen I was allowed to run around and do as I pleased seems like a dream come true right? Well my dental hygiene suffered greatly because well, I was a kid and didn’t care. I started noticing as I got older of course and tried some things to remedy it, but my family has never been the wealthiest and dental work is expensive. This was and is one of the bigger causes of my depression. I had done a bunch of research on teeth remineralization and tried that with […]

I’ve given up on  my goals and dreams. So now I can stop dwelling on my future, now I can stop worrying about disappointing someone or worrying about not making it. I can say that I have given up on my goals without it meaning I am not going anywhere. I mean, I am not going anywhere I want, but I at least now have something sustainable. For the last few years I tried hard to work for something, I tried hard to make something of myself, I tried hard to make those around me (even myself) proud. But at a certain point it gets […]

I’ve been awake for a few hours now, and was able to force myself to eat something despite not having an appetite whatsoever. To be honest I’m glad I did I feel a lot less lethargic. I don’t know if I’m depressed, suicidal, or just mentally fucked up at this point. Or maybe I see the world for what it really is. What I do know is my experience in this world isn’t enjoyable, I don’t have the worst life, definitely not the best. Which I beat myself up about sometimes because people do have it worse. I don’t know, I just honestly don’t know. […]

I cant wait til fall and the cold weather. I want all these spiders n flies to fkn die! I also miss wearin hoodies. Plus i smell better when its cold. I smell n look like im melting. Summer is not my forte. If i want heat ill soak in hot water.

We needed some more 90s music up in here.

So I’ve been thinking. And thinking. And it’s hard to stop. This month, I just can’t keep someone I knew out of my head. I miss the good moments of our friendship. Fortunately, there was a lot of those. I’d love to make up for loss time but I feel like the time is so far gone, so what’s the point now? I’m afraid it’s because I’m lonely that I’d reach out. The questions that will come out or lack thereof…I know I’m selfish and inconsiderate so I think it’s crossing the line if I apologize now. And we’re both adults, so we don’t have […]