Next time a guy does that to me, im legit sending out a postcard that simply says “sup?” Lol does not take u 96hrs to respond to my paragraph with an “ok”.
I’m not depressed. I’ve always been fascinated by death and bored by life. Even when I was a kid. I was taught to be christian, but it always seemed so boring to me, I never had any dreams of being a fireman or a police or a doctor or anything, my dream as a 5 year old was to be an old, lonely alcoholic that hated the world as much as he hated himself. I was seven years old the first time I wanted to kill myself. I was eleven years old when I started to think that I really didn’t fit in anywhere, that […]
For so many different reasons…..
Im better off single.
This whole forum thing is really new to me and I’m pretty scared of it all. I’m worried that I’m bothering everyone or doing something wrong by doing this, and while I may not feel really bad right now, I know that I will again at some point and that I really need the help. I’m a 16 year old therian and reluctant trans fem who is in a really bad place with their self esteem. I can’t stand being trans in the least and I just want to be cis… It makes things so much harder. I always hate how my body is wrong […]
Long story short. I’ve been on the edge for years now. A while back I realized that instead of killing myself, I could just dissapear n look at it as a ”bonus level”. I’m sure my family would be more comfortable knowing im alive somwhere. I’ve read about some people who disappeared to start a new life n are way better off. So why not try?
The only thing thats holding me back is the fact that I’m a parent. Obviously I want the best for my kid but I’m very misserable and mentally unstable so I’m not sure which is better; two parents but one […]
war-chester-shire sauce is how i will always say it
I think I’ve gone off the deep end.
In the time and place at which I am writing this, it is almost 4 in the afternoon. If I hadn’t intervened 3 hours ago, I would likely still be in bed right now, oscillating between being asleep and being awake. Last night I fell asleep at around 4:30 in the morning, and even then it took a lot of effort to close my eyes for good. I never thought I could be so pathetic.
I haven’t done anything all day. I have no energy for anything anymore. I can’t even do things that I had wanted to do. […]
My childhood was nothing but trauma. My teen years were the same. I’m almost 21, and all I’ve had to look back on is wasted years, trauma, and grief. My disability prevented me from enjoying even the decent years.
The worst part is that I’m still experiencing trauma. I’m not even free from my abusive family.
I wonder if I ever will be free from here while I’m still alive.
I miss those days. Wish i could re do it all to see if she would grow up to be someone diff than what she is now.
My teenage daughter is driving me nuts. Its bad enough i have a tempermental 10yr old autistic son and 1 hyped up 7yrold. But i foolishly assumed my daughter would be the easiest 1 because of how independent she is. Nope, sadly mistaken. Shes in a confused state where she wants to be a guy but says shes a non binary lesbian but then gets offended when people call her my son cuz she looks like a boy. And then she doesnt care about her looks or how much she smells. I gotta demand and yell at her to take a shower n brush her […]
I need to keep going. I need to have faith in myself. I can change and I will. There is nothing I can’t do and definitely nothing that can stop me. This life is worth living for the simple fact that I want to see myself improve. I will die some day by old age anyways, so why not stick around and experience the bad with the good? Love my girlfriend, prove people wrong, make something out of myself. Sometimes, I think that I’m just too sensitive and overreacting. Maybe I am, but it’s not my fault I am like this. I need to adapt […]
I don’t know how to start. I don’t really know what’s the main problem. I know I have a shitty life and I am kind of used to it. It sucks that I have to dissapoint everyone I care for, but I am used to it. I could go on without giving it too much thought, but the problem is my girlfriend. (I’m 21, she is 19). She is a constant reminder that I am not good enough and that I don’t deserve her. She reminds me all the time of how I dated my ex (which was fat, ugly and stupid) and how she […]
Oi. Top of the evening to you. My reasons for needing to die are many and varied. For one, being a trans girl is a living hell all in its own right. As a trans woman, you get the monotonous curse of human ignorance. The majority of the world thinks that only 2 genders exist, and set society up to accommodate 2 genders. Yet cross gender conditions are very obviously manifest in the human realms. Being a third gender in a world infested with fucktards gits exasperating. then having to try to maneuver thru this three ring shit circus with heavy mental illness makes it […]
I haven’t been suicidal for around a year so far but I still can never shake the feeling of never feeling truly alive. It’s like I feel that no matter how okay things can get it’s always in my mind that it’s an eventuality that I will commit suicide. It’s like how some people think of their future and how they think they’re destined to become a doctor, but my mind just makes me think I’m destined to kill myself. It just makes everything kind of hard to do when it comes to mind.
It's a test page. Sorry
Who else has given up hope that they’ll “get better” or not be depressed anymore? After 40 years of suffering on this Earth, I don’t have any hope that “things will get better” or that “things will change” or that I will no longer be depressed and live happy. If it hasn’t happened after 40 fucking years, why would it suddenly change after year 50? Sigh.
Anyone else on this forever depressed boat?
I feel like I can’t stare in the mirror for more than a few seconds at myself. When I look at myself I am just confused. I look at myself and say who the hell am I. I don’t know at all. I am around people who love me and want the best for me. But is it bad that sometimes I ask myself why. Why do these people even love me. Why do my friends and family care about me, since I barely care about myself. Depression makes you have such a different outlook on life. But then again I don’t know if that’s […]
Not suicide related
I ended up resolving the issue with my friend. Thanks for replying.
One of the taxi drivers I come across here is rather cute. He lives across the road from me. I went out to check the mail and noticed he was working on his car. Sometimes I think about going over there to say ‘hi’ but he would probably think I’m a creep. And there’s no reason to be trying to talk to him anyway. I can’t even bring myself to engage in conversation with him in the taxi whenever I end up getting one.
I think I should just […]
These shots i got friday are 2months supply and i can already see em workin. I fell asleep and stayed asleep last nite which is a 1st. My paranoia keeps me awake usually. I notice im not as on edge as i used to be. I feel relaxed and not hyper. The antipsychotics are keeping the psycho ellen at bay lol why didnt i do this 14yrs ago? I would of been married by now instead of driving men crazy with my mood swings an paranoia lol .