In the near distant future, AI hijacks the minds of people. We become the product, where ads are sold to us because we are the product. Where our time is the resource of the elite’s money. Where we predate people’s time through addictive social media. Through GMO’s and artifical flavors. Where in the natural world, we would die of natural causes. In the reality of the world, this isn’t the case. So many people are dying premature deaths. Suicides rates are up. Half of the U.S. has pre-diabetes. 1 in 4 Americans have some type or mental illness. 1 in 3 children are on foodstamps. […]
i don’t want to give this life up but i also don’t want to continue it either. maybe i should just lie in bed and wait until things get worse. that way the choice will be easier once my life finally falls apart.
Yesterday I felt like trash, but I think I am getting better after all. I’m not sure if it’ll all be reset this winter, who knows. Although whenever I see anyone close to me I’ll think of their reaction after my death, for the first time in years, I can actually talk about the future, my future. For the first time in years, in the flash of a second, I genuinely saw myself in the future: miserable, but still alive. 20,30,40,50,60. For a second I genuinely wanted to live. As frightening as it is, I won’t quit for now, I am scared of the reaction […]
Mostly writing because it will be the only way I process these emotions. At this point, my energy level is too low to even apply for jobs, let alone hold one down. I’ve been able to strip away all the emotion in it, so I can explain to my wife. She’s incredibly supportive, and I feel lucky in that regard. She accepted my pitch; she works and I focus on keeping house. The fact is that I spend more time tending the house than her, and I don’t have a problem with that. I’m good at it.
The hard part is still letting go, becoming okay […]
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im wondering if theres maybe a glitch or something because i have no problem with it
Not that I am actively suicidal *right now,* but I am generally suicidal 24-7 bc there is no purpose nor any meaning to my life. I have tried to find one but to no avail.
What is the point of living? Or rather the point to MY living?
I’m not religious, so no comfort from living for a “higher power” or whatever.
I haven’t spawned any kids, so I don’t have to stay or nurture any non-existent beings.
I haven’t done anything meaningful in life- I haven’t created anything, saved any lives, etc. I am not spectacular in any way (maybe spectacularly […]
I worry about participating on sites like these, talking to suicidal people. Especially those who are younger and more impulsive than me. I worry that I might say something that triggers something for them, which then pushes them over the edge. Not intentionally or from being insulting (I think I’m rarely mean), but just carelessly through discussion. And it’s not that it would exactly be my ‘fault’ if that did happen. I don’t think I have the power to make anyone kill themselves who isn’t already 99% of the way there. But it still concerns me.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that no […]
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/americans-are-unhappiest-they-ve-been-50-years-poll-finds-n1231153
The actual study and report aside, does anyone find the picture funny? The first thing I thought of was: “ha! imagine if an alien saw this from above. What would they think about us humans?” (say they don’t know what covid-19 is)
Is there a way to change the password to something we want or that can actually remember? Right now it’s set that if you want to change the password, SP autogenerates one for you. It’s super long and impossible to remember. I remember SP used to let us have our own passwords in the past.
Previously, I went to visit family in California for the summer. I was in a pretty bad place mentally, so I used the money I had saved up to go surfing all summer long.
And for the first time, in a long time, I was happy.
Not just happy on the waves, but at home too. It’s like the board was an extension of my body, and I was free to be me when I went out.
No homework, no stress, no group chats, no toxic friends, no mom, no dad, no yelling, no crying, just me, and the board.
Just me, surfing. […]
hate is typically a word of anger. but this time…….i hate myself so much that im crying…….
I am 16, and I know that I will be dead in a couple of months. Over the last two years, I’ve thought about life and death a lot. It just doesn’t seem to be worth it, living in a world that is deteriorating as I write. I don’t want to slave the rest of my life away at a job either, and pursuing alternative options seem either require money or to be too risky.
There isn’t really a benefit to me living, anyways. When people tell you to not kill yourself, they always bring up family and friends. Whenever I think about how my people […]
Alone
Ever since i was a child i’ve always felt alone in this world. As a child my home/family situation has set the tone for my neural development. Out of all the typical domestic troubles such as physical and emotion abuse, to an overall unstable living environment filled with family drama…my depression started to manifest.
Ever since i was 6 i could remember feeling alone, sad and not having anyone to talk about how i’m feeling. Often i had to entertain myself. Whenever i watched other kids interacting with their father and mother (or other family members) having fun and i often wondered why it made me […]
It feels strange. Being ready. Ready to do it. It’s strange because I feel calmer. Because I know that whatever is going to happen in the future won’t matter…because I won’t be here, I won’t be there to see it, to feel it, to experience it. I won’t be there. So it’s nice. It’s calm. Because the time I’m dreading won’t come, I choose for it not to come.
I feel bad though. I do. For my grandma. She always talks about how she wants to die because it’s so hard for her, and I know that out of anyone she is the one that really […]
Ive been on this medication for a little bit now. (I should see if i can find out how long and update this). I think somewheres between half a year and a year? Or maybe im just coming up on half a year? Has it really been that long?
Well to start with i should probably tell you how living without my medication is. Its torturous, plain and simple. Absolute fucking hell.
On my medication? I love it! Its so much easier to handle things and i have episodes a lot less.
But like all good things theres a catch…
I dont feel any better. I just feel like […]
things are finally getting a little better, I’m still struggling and a lot of things still suck but i think I’m making an improvement.
i started cutting again but im trying to stop. I’ve started meds and I’m starting therapy soon. I’m really scared for it but it’ll help.
I’ve posted about this guy a few times before. i have been crushing on him for so long and we are finally a thing. i have wanted him to like me back for so long and now he does. its going so amazing so far, i really hope i don’t screw up
I have a general hatred and disdain for the human species. First, we ruin the planet. And second, most people are evil, shitty, selfish, manipulative, opportunistic, liars, users, etc. Sure, there are a small number of good people, but overall, most humans are shitty. And somehow during my whole life I seem to encounter the bad ones and very few good ones. Of course my viewpoint is biased toward my own life experiences (but isn’t that the case for all of our viewpoints/thoughts/beliefs)?
The ones who’ve had nice childhoods, good family, little to no adversity, pain, or poverty and […]
Since I was a kid, I’ve had SO much fucking suffering, pain and hardship. Now that I’m an adult and middle age, life has only gotten WORSE over time, not better. How I wish I was never born. All this f*ing suffering, for what?
I’m sorry, but “extremely serious” “looking for someone to marry” and “let’s take a walk in the woods”
NOT a good combination.
He’s so dumb sometimes!
extreme cravings day 3