damnit. IDK where to start. so much is racing through my head right now. im completely fucked. It’s unreal how horrible things can become. So, I have this stupid belief that, yeah, i want to die, but it could be the last thing I ever do (assuming in death there is no afterlife…just in case) and it will only happen for real once… I want to FEEL it. None of the gun to the head crap (besides, you could always end up brain dead which is worse than life itself…[although, someone i once knew shot himself in the heart… i think that takes guts]) but anyways this […]
I cannot WAIT till im a adult. Then i’ll just be as far as possible from my home and my family. Now before i go on my rant, let me just say no, i dont have a physically abusive family, no are my parents divorced nor are they dead, sick or drug addicts. They just treat me like woman were treated in the 1940’s. No rights. No freedom. They were OBLIGED to stay home and work, things like that. Well that’s how I am treated. I have been occasionally depressed for a while now. (my depressive bouts usually last between hours to a week). Anyway, […]
Things never really improve. I’m tired.
i get that i’m young but still… i can’t believe you pressured and hurt me that badly so i’d give up the o0ne thing i’ve wanted for years. I’ve planned.. I’ve Prepared… and you said you were ready.. then changed your mind? how is that fair to me… i keep having dreams of being a mom now.. but i don’t have that chance because i gave up their life for you.. i regret it with every inch of my heart and i wish i didn’t. i need support right now.. i’ve already had such a hard life and now i’m even sadder and even more […]
I want to feel happy again,
I’m sick and tired of this world.
There’s nothing to feel but pain and hatred.
I may have not done much,
but the actions I’ve made are enough.
The bile of hatred rises from the heart,
to break me.
To break me from my small air of hope.
I can never take a breath of relaxation,
I can barely rest without panic.
I want to see myself fall off my balcony,
I picture my blood seeping through my flesh.
I want to have my guts torn from my insides out,
I don’t want to feel this, it only makes me feel alive.
I don’t want to smile, for you.
I want to smile for […]
After today I know there would be more people who would be relieved rather than sad that I’m gone. There’s one person who I wish I could talk to first, but it’s clear he thinks I’m too much of a nut job. This weekend I’m going to do a trial rim with the car running and the garage closed. The one person who could stop me is indifferent.
Â
I had a secret, a dark little secret.
But I told and now I don’t.
He understood ‘cus he’s been through the same.
Little secret has now been told.
Vulnerable like a flower in a storm.
Like a fish outside of water,
I cannot breathe anymore.
I’m scared
I’m broken
I’m lost
Little pieces of me are shattered across the floor
A shattered soul
In this black hole I have no escape
Mummy says I’m too young to be depressed
Daddy already has other two perfect daughters
Friends are clueless
Parts of my past are forgotten
And fuck how I wish I could remember
Tomorrow I go in for surgery, If the cancer is still there next month they will try again but if it fails twice i’m going to most likely die. I’ve been wishing to die for so long now but now that there is a chance I will…god, i’m scared. And what makes it so scary was when I collapsed on top of the building i was about to jump off of, I didn’t expect to wake up and find out I have cancer. But I do, and i’m trying so hard to stay strong through it all but it is really really hard.
Wish me […]
The curse
placed long ago upon my head
To bear the weight of the world
On a rope tied round my neck
To always look back at what has happened and live it again today
To have no hope for tomorrow
to feel nothing but sorrow
to hate every aspect of my day.
To see my scars and fight the powers that drive me to make more
To find the bottle and decide not to drink every last drop it stores
To hear the words that others say and push them all away, lest they end up on my arm.
To split my mind and want to live yet long to die
To do so wrong yet […]
For most of you, I’ve been there. I hated myself, wished I was dead, abused/cut/beat up, what ever, myself. Yes, you will have to fight, kick, cuss,dragggg yourself on. It will be worth while.
In 1988 I lived in a 10ft by 50ft 30 year old trailer, alone… I was in my early 20’s along way from anyone or anything I cared about. Long story short, I lived, I have 2 great kids, 12th and 10th grade, smarter then I was. Every end is an end, a beginning is a beginning. Have a beginning. If no one else […]
I’m 14 years old i am sick of living most of my life i wanted to die i have recently been diagnosed with aspergers i left school because i get to worried and scared then i end up getting angry everyday something bad happens there is no good days and i just think about dying everyday people say sickening things to me that make me just want to rope myself ive tried to kill myself loads of times but failed i dont deserve to live i am just a waste all i think about is not breathing people have said horrible things about me and […]
I went from not wanting to commit suicide, to going back to my original plan of killing myself in five years if life doesn’t get better. So now, regardless of what happens till then, the time bommb is ticking. If life gets better, the bomb stops counting down. If it gets worse, the fuse detonates. I’ll be 32 by then. Actually since I’ll be 28 in August, I’ll be 33 if I die in August in five years.
In any case, we’ll see what happens. I want life to get better and I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. Life gets better for some and not […]
As it turns out, none of us are.
I’m sitting in my office, mother to a beautiful 3.5 year old child, wife to a not very grateful husband. I’m sure the average passerby would look at my life and want to trade with me in a nanosecond. From the perspective of an outsider, I shouldn’t be writing this, let alone feeling this. This inner monster that constantly tells me to do myself in.
My childhood was dreadful, unending cycle of abuse from four parents. Two of them physically harmed me, one tried to kill me, three thrived in psychological abuse and one ignored […]
I hate that I’m here again. But I’m bursting with frustration and anger and need to let it out somehow and here even if nobody listens it feels like SOMEONE might hear.
My brother’s been my mom’s favourite kid for as long as I can remember. Even though he’s the lazy 15 year old years behind in school, jobless, and lies to get out of everything, as well as giving half my family the silent treatment for the last six months. He’s snaps and gets sullen about the littlest thing and then I get yelled at. Or I tell my other brother not to smash […]
Honestly. I need it. I want to cut again. I’ve actually brought my knife out today. It felt better to touch it against my skin, but I didn’t cut. I put the blade back. But I pressed hard enough that I have a red mark on my wrist. I want to die. Honestly. I found out that Trevor and Jacob both actually said that. I loved him. I swear, I’m being completely honest, I loved him. It’s stupid. I never went out with him, and he apparently never liked me. He called me ugly. And now, I believe him. All I can see when I […]
i DONT know how to write this, my life is shit, im moving soon and leaving everything, the love of my life is blocking me out becasue he is scared he will hurt me, im emotionally scared and wan to leave, everyone is happy but me, im in a forced relationship but i dont wanna hurt him, IMA ***** i hate myself. everyone hates me, i hate me i wanna die becasue if i tell anyone they will think im stupid, i tell my bestie everything but im moving and i will never see her! I need to say good bye now, so bye mum, […]
IF I CANT LIVE WITH YOU, I DONT WANT TO LIVE=READ MY PREVIOUS POST, SOMEONE HELP ME.
He did it, he broke my heart, we were talking fine then he started acting wierrd saying he cant talk to me becasue he will hurt me, now he isnt replying he is depressed im in tears, he was one of the reasons i stayed on this earth now he is gone, i told him how i feel, but he says i cant trust me he ruins lifes, but he made mine better,he wont listen, and i  cant live without him, i am home alone tomorrow i will do it then
selseyc@gmail.com
I WISH MY MOM FUCKING DIED! HERE GOES THE CUTTING. I DONT WANT TO BE HERE!!!!!
Seriously you should need to be at least 17 years old to post on this site. Â It’s really getting annoying.
“Bobby doesn’t like me. Â I ‘m going to kill myself.”
” I’m going to go OD on birth control pills.”
” I’m going to go wash down a bottle of Tylenol PM with some vodka I stole from my parents.”
“I’m going to go drink 20 Red Bulls and I hope I die”
Give me a break. You’re crowding the boards with the most asinine posts. Â If you’re just trying to get attention this is definitely the wrong place. Â Please just go away already. Â There are people that are […]